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This is continued from last 2 week’s installments Part 1 and Part 2 with Franque’s letter to his unborn child. Here is the Final part of the letter.

4: Anchor Baby

I have never wanted anything in my life that I could not stand losing.

After two years and countless efforts at making the relationship work, I realised it was time to tell myself the truth and let it go – if only for the moment.

I broke off my engagement four months before my wedding and more than a few people concluded that I had finally lost my marbles. Fact is: they were not in the relationship with me.

At the most they were spectators on the outside looking in through frosted glasses, so they couldn’t possibly know everything that went on behind those windows.

My friends talked; her friends harassed and accused; my folks asked, and her folks too. In one word, SoMuchPressure from every corner. And if I thought I knew what pressure was, it intensified when word got out that she was pregnant. Pressure moved in next door.

I told everyone who asked me that a baby changed nothing. I purposed to be all that I could for the child. I attended Mother craft classes and Ante-natal care – work permitting. I offered myself up for anything, anytime of the day or night – seeing as I could not move in with her. I was going to be the best Daddy that I could be, given our peculiar circumstance.

During the first trimester she gave me so much grief I almost walked, but then I would think of that miracle growing inside of her and I would excuse all of her actions as hormonal.

I heard so much talk about how her life was going to change, being a single parent and all, but did anybody stop to think how my life was going to change too? How single parenthood was going affect me?

“But you broke it all up,” a friend once said. Like I went crazy one day and decided the best thing to do was get engaged, and then break it off for kicks! We probably could have gotten back together, but honestly, a baby is not Miracle Glue.

I think she became calmer, and grew up more, in the 2nd trimester when the kicks started. “The baby is doing well and started kicking yesterday.” She once said to me. “Subtle kicks. Noticed the first three while driving. The baby responds with a kick when I talk to him. Before I fall asleep I spoke to the baby, and his response? A kick!”

“That is because she knows she is a she! Talk to her and she’ll kick less. You want me to put in a word with her? She should be tired now anyway from running through my mind all day.” I replied her.

The days passed in a whirl of activities. Between my busy work schedule and blogging deadlines, next thing I knew, we were counting down eight weeks to baby due date. It was then that she called and requested we meet.

On Friday after my training, I went over to her place to see her. And sitting accross from her, watching her and seeing the glow she radiated, my eyes constantly strayed to the mound beneath her loose fitting blouse. A miracle if ever I saw one, sent by God. The constriction I felt in my chest, the band accross my heart did not exactly hurt. I just felt a swelling, an almost overflowing joy!

I have never wanted anything in my life that I could not stand losing. But sitting there, in that moment before she parted her lips to say any word to me, I knew. Now, I fear it is too late.

Do hurry up and come, child of mine. For in this world where everything seems uncertain, one thing is definite: I will love you beyond words, time and distance.

With all my love,


PS: This is my version of how you came to be. Your mother’s may differ, will differ. But one element will be constant. It is that, the reason you are alive is all because two people fell in LOVE.



"Franque is in aviation, which by the way is not his job, just a lifestyle. If he ever kept a diary it would read like his articles will. Unfortunately he doesn't. Scratch that. He didn't.AIRtiquette is a walk in his shoes. Since regular isn't in his vocabulary, brace yourself for a bit of airwalking!" Follow @franque_521 on twitter.


  1. If this is actually ur life, I’m not scared 2 say u’l mke a great dad. Nw u’l hve 2 littl angels 2 give ur love 2. Ur son/daughtr nd ur niece. Love rili is all we need!

  2. Awwwwwwww *now wiping away tears*… Wif all dt love jst gushing outta u I’m here wishing I wuz d baby @ d receiving end! U’d make a wonderful daddy Franque.

  3. Awwwwwww. I’m in love wiv Baby already…courageous decisions, nice conclusion. You’Fri 4 Mar 2011 make a great dad. I know!

  4. Awwwwwwwww.I’m in love wiv Baby already…. Courageous decisions, nice conclusion. Yould make a great dad. iKnow.

  5. @ MzSwitz, Groupie n Nena: thanx for ur vote of confidence on my parenting abilities.
    @ Mateely: that’s the spirit
    @ r$lls: just take that love u feel n spread it to ppl around u
    @ iKnow n Diva: speechless sometyms works too.
    @ BcGeorge: this, n stranger things, have been known to happen to people.
    All said, thanx guys. Y’all are the reason iWrite. Only because of u.

  6. Babies r preciou gift 4rm God n it takes only a kind n lovin soul 2 appreciate dem.
    U r a wonderful dad.
    Love dis writeup.
    It was definitely worth d wait.

  7. I was warned, and yet unprepared. My shirt will have to suffice as I cannot find a handkerchief right now.
    Beautiful coz, just abso-friggin-lutely BEAUTIFUL!

  8. The fatherwood series is undoubtedly the best write-up i’ve read on 360nobs.com. It evoked in me that paternal instinct that every man has. I respect u alot for taking the time to bless us with ur experience

  9. Awww….our Frank’s gonna be a daddy. All the best, buddy, I’m sure you’ll do great. I agree with your decision(s)…you can’t stay with someone for a baby; it’s gotta be for you. I guess I can’t really hold you to deadlines anymore with this new addition 🙂

  10. fantastic, u simply knw how to choose the right words. very expressive….
    as for being a dad, u’ld make d best, any child would be glad to have u as a father….
    but then again, i do hope u n baby mama work things out not necessarily gettin back togeda but working in harmony to make this world a better place for the child…
    *still brings me to tears everytime i read it*

  11. Wow! *whispered silently*

    This really made me tear up Franque.

    You’ll truly make a great father. Your baby is so lucky. He/she will have 2 parents that will love him/her.

    I’m really sorry about your break up. I do agree with you that people make comments on our relationships not realizing that they are mere spectators. They’re not the one’s living it. And it’s true, a baby never fixes anything. That said, i do hope and believe that you and your ex work things out, regardless if you get back together or not…

    Sigh. This is just lovely. You’re going to be a dad…..dang..

    Ps: whatever it is, i would like to believe that it’s never too late:)

  12. @ Jemine, M.E, SheGot_S: now y’all got me tearin up.
    @ Village Maiden, Benjoy: can iThink about that?
    @ Dee Mist, Ready, SheGot_S, Shade: thanx guys for believin in my future as a dad.
    @ The Trap: Thank u very much. iHope my *experience enlightens someone out there – besides my *soon-to-be-born-child.
    @ Dj Niro: one word – whatCaniSay? #seriouslyWishiCouldBlush
    @ everyone else who’s read and not commented: iSee all of you. iRemember sayin to my Editor we should’v posted this with a box of tissue.
    Well, there’s always next week. Clue: it’s AIRtiquette Friday

  13. ‘I have never wanted anything in my life that I could not stand losing’. I read the aforementioned statement over and over again and it resonated. You know sometimes you have so much to say but you’re just speechless? That’s me right now, so at the risk of sounding redundant I’ll just say Franque, you are a great writer.

  14. Franque, my birthday is on friday, the 11th. As your new blogs are posted on friday, am asking for a birthday present…write something that would completely blow my mind. All your stories are wonderful but am giving you a challenge here…post your best blog yet.
    I’ll be getting the usual bday gift: bday sex. But I want something different. Goodluck.

  15. Just when I think uve reached d peak of ur writing u raise d bar again…
    Woah nd dis is where d story led to….ur goin 2 b a daddieeee
    Congratulations Frankieee….

  16. @ DL: iHav been called a lotta things in my tym, but perfect Gentleman? Thanx
    @ MizNatural: got that declaration on repeat in my head too. Maybe iShould ‘copyright’ it, no?
    @ Nick: iAlready sent in this week’s but happy birthday o! Where d rice n drink matter dey happen?
    @ Chiny: yes, this is where this story led. Other stories remain, n lead other places.
    @ Ready: u didn’t think AIRtiquette’s done? It’s 2moro nau, abi?

  17. I have fallen in love with your blog… This is the reason I visit 360 nobs… Its amazing the pride I feel when I read your posts, cuz just when I think this is it, you outdo yourself, over and over again… You should write a memoir or collection of short stories, ild wait in line to buy… Keep it up

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