No BS: Ashewos and the Men that Patronise Them

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I know what you are thinking and I totally agree with you. What is Noble Igwe’s obsession with Ashewo?

To be truthful, I don’t know either but staying on the Island and driving around Sanusi Fafunwa/Adeyemo Alakija brings me in contact with these special people every day.

Scratch that. You do not need to stay on the Island or drive along Adeyemo Alakija to come in contact with Ashewos because Blackberry and Social network platforms like Facebook and twitter have made it so easy for these people to reach their customers and for their customers to reach them.

Some days ago, two ladies fought on twitter and went about telling their followers and non-followers how they slept with men to get a Blackberry Bold.

Wait did you get that? I mean two ladies, people’s daughters with siblings’ maybe or cousins went on a social network to talk about how they slept with MARRIED men for a communication device with no regards as to who was reading or who could take the message home.

Forget morals …Does prostitution only apply when you stand on the road and wait for a car to pick you, take you to a hotel room (Depending on your class) and bang, bang till it’s over? I don’t think so, if you are having sex with the intention of getting material or financial gratification, you are an ashewo. Kpom kwem.

The game of Ashewoism has taken a new dimension; these days you can engage on some below-the-line advertising by using near nude pictures of you as your BBM/Social Network display picture to lure interested men into “pricing”.

In case you are wondering, pricing refers to the that period when she makes you go:

You: Nice DP
Her: Do you like?
You: Yes 
Her: You can get it

The discussion continues, a date is set and boom! you’ve smashed her. For some, the demand starts instantly but for others it’s the day after and it’s start with messages like

Her: Hey 🙁
You: Why the sad face, what’s the problem?
Her: I just got a message from home.
You: What is the problem?
Her: I don’t want to bother you with my issues.
You: What are friends for? Please tell me
Her: I just got a message from my uncle that my mum needs to undergo a surgery.
You : Oh sorry!
Her : The problem is that they need money from me.
You: How much?
Her : 275k, but you can assist me with ANYTHING

The story goes on and on until you pay for the sex you had with her and depending on how much you paid, you may be smashed over and over.

The truth is that game is gradually leaving the streets and has been christened “Runs“; but unlike the “street standing“ ashis, these “runs” chics go to Dubai and come back with LV bags the same price as their house rent in Okoko.

I don’t have anything against anybody going to Dubai with another person’s husband but let’s call a spade a spade, if you are getting paid for such trips, you are an ashewo and calling yourself a runs chic does not change that fact.

I know some people are going to be mad at me for saying considering that someone may be reading this on an iPad given to her after a long night. Ok I kid! I kid! You deserve it after all it’s not easy trying to stay alive below a pot belly.

Moving on, I was at an event recently and I saw a much bleached woman called Tina who they said was very HAWT in her days as “runs” chic and that got me wondering if Ashewo have an alumni or something…

Take for instance – Do you think they will have The Class of 72, Allen Avenue? I mean there would have been some ashis on Allen in those days? Maybe some may go to Italy or retire to their villages but do you think they would still be in touch?

So if they are still in touch what would their discussions sound like? “Hmmm Tina, you remember that time wey we follow that your Nigerian Breweries oyibo go Enugu go scatter ground”.

Funny as it may sound, I think there’s a kind of alumni out there somewhere and the same may also exist for “runs” girls because even in nearby UNILAG, there are hostels populated by “Runs” chics who share same dibias and may continue to stay in touch until His kingdom come.

A friend of mine once said that without the men patronizing the ashis,they would have gone extinct but with men out there giving blackberry bold, first class Dubai tickets, LV Bags or paying outright cash, there would always be Ashewos. Did you know that prostitution is one of the oldest profession ever recorded in the Human history?

While I am not pushing for a relationship where a man will do nothing for a lady, we have to agree that a relationship is totally different from patronizing a prostitute.

If you’ve read this article to this length and didn’t pick out anything useful, then the Indomie I was served did its work.

However, I‘ll like you to answer one question …What would be your reaction if your son brings home a lady as the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with and you knew the mother as an Ashewo/Runs chic /follow runs chic ..or worse – the lady was one of your runs? What would your reaction be?

I’m out……Peace, Indomie and boiled egg

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

43 comments

  1. well my brother u wont blame all those runs gurls oooooooo,some of them doin it to survive while some do it just for the fun of it,well wat i av to say is dat i wld allow my son marry the girl,as far d love is there nd he knows her inside out,u know wat i mean naw.#chizzysmiling#

  2. 1st of all,I love that the article was proof read 😀
    Now to d story..spanking! spot on! bull’s eye! need I say more? It was quite hilarious but we gotta admit,its very factual! stuff like dis happens all d time. But u dis Noble sef,ur akproko is too mush

  3. Nice n very tru! Some of dem do it for fun n some to survive n some don’t know beta esp if dr mothers introduced them to it.
    Whatever the case if drs no mrkt for dem dey wldnt be doin it!

  4. I like that your so witty…made me laugh as I was reading. You’re so right! Everyone assumes a little money can buy any Naija babe, it’s so embarrassing.

  5. Good article man…..very funny,na condition make crayfish bend just knw that cos no girl with good sense and upbringing will venture into asewo or runs…..causes can be environmental or genetic…..mother to daughter………peace

  6. Lol….really funny piece but u are so on point.prostitution or runs has gone digital o,totally on anoda level..they say its for survival but aftr getting up to 2m(heard of a few who get dat much)y havnt they stopped?take it or leave it,if ur doin it to get paid, YOU ARE A HOE.

  7. i saw u at an event on sunday and i must say,u r ugly,and short with a very HUGE head.
    yeah must of the island big boys r married to alot of runs girls, so me i dnt understand.

    1. Na wa o. Up to the minute reporters…you better look out and let us know when you see him in Keke napep and Molue. kmt

  8. nice 1 guy, on fb, twitter, bbm dats wia d game is done more, yes d country is mad bt sm gals over do n stil cal themselve holy mary

  9. You v said it all but remember if those men n guys stop patronizin dem,then dat word ashawo or run babes won’t be in existence.so for me all of them in d business r d same.

  10. I like this article,it’s well written and direct.let’s call a spade a spade (nd not an agricultural implement).’runs chic’,’parole babe’ is just a sugar-coated term for Ashewo.

  11. I like this article,it’s well written and direct.let’s call a spade a spade (nd not an agricultural implement).’runs chic’ is just a sugar-coated term for Ashewo.(Dere’s no need to code)

  12. OMG….it was a very interesting read . And i for one agree with your every word. Keep on writing please i hope to read more of your works.
    P.S i can also serve better indomie buhh i don’t like egg sa lol

  13. and the point of this particular blog would be???women should not be ashewo’s in hiding?should not go to dubai?or men should not buy the ashewos ipad?not quite sure your message, as u mention u have no problem with girls going away with another woman’s husband………

  14. honestly cannot stand hypocritical people! Ok. Let’s call a spade a spade. Whether its true or not Nobs writes a memoirs which is supposed to be based on his real life he uses women ever day for their body, these women allow them selves to be used and want to be used. I don’t find anything wrong with it other than he does this and has no real reason behind it #gross. So what is wrong with men that want to pay women or give women a gift for sleeping with them??? Its their life and so long as they are not hurting anyone then each to their own I find it quite ridiculous when people use such derogatory terms to define people. I’m sorry to say then Nobs himself is an ashewo. People do things for different reason and its mostly for financial reasons. Open your eyes and see beyond the wrongs of people. I feel its even worse when a person gives themselves freely on a day to day basis for no reason at all, for that reason I respect the ones who do it for money to feed themselves or their families.

    1. Hahahaha, to feed themselves, their families, buy weave, Blackberry Bold, iPad, Fake Louboutins, LV etc. So which are you? Ashewo or runs? *runs and hides under iroko*

  15. There are obvious ashewos and runz gehs that have commented on this post. well done o, i hail una ashewos
    —-> Unec Babe
    —-> Adeola
    I see you, we go jam for tarmac
    Meanwhile…yes…ashewo no be better work.
    and to the mumu wey say Nobs head big…Hate the game and not the player.
    and my other ashewo friend wey talk say nobs dey use women write memoirs? Is that enough justification? is that enough reason to be an ashewo?
    worse still you said you respect those who feed their families with ashewo work?
    A question for you…assuming you have a daughter , and you’re kinda broke…and she decides to fuck, kasali the panel beater next door, and Dean of social science at her Uni, and she tells you “oh mum, i did it to feed my self cuz ur broke”….i bet you’ll pat her and say “This is my child in whom i am well pleased”

  16. Haaaaaaaaaa Erica, u took it der.
    OMG *hides face*
    But one thing I can say is all these “runs girls” are just nasty ass hoes who f**k their daddys age mates.
    Close ur legs, get a proper job n make good money with self respect n dignity

  17. lol…..funny to note that….after all is said and done….96% of guys (including nobs)will still run round in circles buying everything to date and be seen dating this expensive runs/ashewo babes……if not nobs wont feel the need to write this blog………..yeah no doubt, nobs head is big and he’s not the tallest of guys but i doubt that observation was necessary, @ erica…why so angry…adeola is human and entitled to her opinion. interesting write up nobs..actually made me laugh…nice one nobs.

  18. Nobz is back. Loved this piece! Poke-nosey, true, and hilarious. And no typos? The power of indomie and boiled eggs.

  19. Nobs u said it all but i think u should also write up 4 those guys prostituting in Abuja…as in collecting from their ass & they are normally called sisi guys…lol

  20. Nobs, well done. Bt if the ashewos or runs girl. Prefer doin there so called job, let them be. Bt i knw i day, they we surely comeout by sickness or by death.

  21. errr…not that its any of my business o! But Unec Babe,wetin come consain Noble’s looks with d story wey in write? U wey dey talk,how we go take know if u fine or not?Wo! If u like d bros just follow am 4 twitter no dey come here dey try put my bros down abegi!

  22. @Nobsdaslushhkid:speechless dats ow u make me feel

    folks have said it all but lyk @MI Abaga sang in his track #FAST MONEY, FAST CAR #mama use to say that you are who you are/ ashewo na ashewo no mata wot you drive/dont sell ur life to buy money/cos u cant spend money to buy life……….single gurls hanging out wit married men*ashewo*.

  23. @Unec Babe cheap punch line …i suspect u be ASHEWO abi …ok no vex but next time u wanna throw a punch like …try show say u go school ……although am starting 2 doubt that ….

  24. Its all abt greed jor *in chigurl’s voice*… “Handbag,weave nd shoe”.
    Derz nufin more to say except to remind u ov Domitila “Ashewo nor be work o” lmao
    P.S. Some pple sudnt be allowed to leave comments. Wat has Nobs’ head or looks got to do wif d article nau? Notice me or I die… Kmt

  25. Oh nd btw it doesn’t hv to be a married man oh…
    If d main reason ure wif ur bf iz d material things u can get frm him,ure no different frm an ashewo.
    Prostitution iz sex 4 pay (ov watever sort dt is). Kal a spade a spade nd nt a garden spoon

  26. OMG! I haf died wit laughter,noble igwe u are a funny guy o! Ashewo na ashewo sha, no matter which name u call ursef. I once read a literature which stated dat all women were prostitutes the only difference was their pricE. Some do it for blackberries, others for trips to dubai, some for houses, a connected name( yes, some gals sleep wit men to get pregnant and have their kids bear an influential name) even marriage, some women sleep wit men to get dem to marry dem! We women are all prostitutes, let’s face it! Nobs is upset because some gals r selling themselves too short! U can get more dan Brazilian hair by opening ur yansh! U can get a whole new store where u’r d distributor of Brazilian hair in nigeria! It is well… God bless our hustle!
    Still rotflmbbao….hahahaha

  27. Yo,stop beatching.It’s the way of the world.I don’t condone prostitution but the truth is pussy comes with a price.Either by buying gifts,trips,treats or psyches.One way or the other men have to go out on a limb to get the kitty cat.As for the women,let a hoe be a hoe!!

  28. First time I’m commenting on a non music related article (ring the bell of blessing for me).

    Personally, I think most men spend to get laid, be it giving her 5K cash or spending 1m at the club. As long as all parties know what they are getting into upfront it’s all good.

    Is it ideal? Maybe not. But I would rather help a lady out to get what I want, than lie to her that I love her blah, blah, blah when all I want to do is F**k.

    Yes no parent would be happy to find out their daughter is f**king for money, but you would be surprised how many know and turn a blind eye to it, while even some encourage it.

    Before you are quick to judge, just pray/thank God that you are not so poor that you find yourself in such situations.

  29. @Rotflmbbao you’ve said it all…
    Also, a poor man will call a girl a gold digger and a prostitute while a rich man will tell a girl that he has the money and she should name her price.

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