People will wonder if I’m obsessed with idea of love, well we just left the month of love so I guess i am still justified. Love is a complicated issue and we all try to figure it out * love is a faculty with various departments *. The fact is not everyone understands this emotion or how to express it* believe me, I’m not an expert either * however I’ve observed people who claim to be in love and noticed certain behaviours that contradict their feelings or confuse their partners.
I have mentioned before that it’s possible for an individual to drown his partner in ‘the sea of love’ and when people drown they hardly survive. Many relationships have crashed due to this.
Love is a beautiful thing *even D’Banj agrees*, everyone wants to love someone and feel loved. Let me pose a question to you “do you think you can love someone too much to the extent that they end up despising you?” well the answer goes both ways *Yes and No*.
One thing should be noted, it’s not necessary for two individuals in a relationship to be in love with each other (people engage in relationships for different reasons). Many times, one partner will love the other more *this is usually the case but there are exceptions*. In the light of this, it’s possible for an individual to drown his partner in the ‘Sea of Love’.
Everyone is floating on or in the ‘sea of love’; it’s actually safe in the beginning until one partner decides to the raise the sea level of love. Love can be likened to salt; salt is needed in very little quantity while cooking but when salt is used in excess it renders the meal inedible. Love is required in moderate quantity in a relationship but when it’s in excess it has adverse effects on a relationship.
Some lovers are the jealous type, in order to prevent their partners from having causal relations they try to satisfy their partners in their own way *usually they go over the bend*. However jealous men and women usually have faithful partners but due to their Obsession they choke their partners. Some monitor the movements of their partners, their calls, text messages and e-mail *all for love*. When confronted they say it’s because of love but these actions of love drown their partners.
In expressing love there are limits even though people think otherwise. In everything wisdom is required even in expressing love *too much of everything is bad, that’s a fact* I haven’t been drowned in the ‘sea of love’ before cos I’m very careful *love burns* but I’ve seen people calling for help.
Let me paint you a little picture just to drive my point home
‘Imagine your partner is in a big reservoir (your relationship) and you’re told you need to empty buckets of water (your love) into the reservoir to help him float. Now you start filling the reservoir day by day, you call to him asking “hey, are you ok? Do you still want more water (love) to float (enjoy your relationship with them)?” and you keep pouring buckets of water until you get carried away and forget about your lover *believe me it happens*. When you started out your intentions were good, you just wanted to love him and care for him but after a while you got carried away (due to jealousy, obsession, your insecurities, past experiences etc) and didn’t care about your lover only the loving.
Many times people don’t actually take note of how or what their partners are feeling. For the women, once they are comfortable they believe everything is okay with their partners. For the men, once they provide for their lovers they believe all is well. Both Men and Women are guilty of drowning their partners in love. The fact is that some people like their privacy and like to have their breathing space, this you must respect.
I read a lovely article on this site last year by Tari Ekiyor “3 sure signs your partner is ‘managing’ you” when you get carried away in a relationship, you make him or her manage you. Be vigilant, evaluate your relationship and yourself and check whether you are not drowning your lover.
Piece of advice: don’t compare your relationship with that of your friends, Lovers are different and so are humans. Don’t try to love your boyfriend or girlfriend the way your friends love theirs because you will get carried away and destroy the love that exists between both of you.
Lastly, Moderation is the key.
The concept is from what I’ve observed in relationships; the fact is that I’m not a guru of love. You might tend to differ but I’ll like to know your point of view, ‘Can you love a person too much?’
*Follow Abido @Abi_can_do