WHEN WOMEN CONFUSE “GOOD SEX” WITH BEING “IN LOVE” Pt1

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She gave me enough wahala (pidgin for trouble, Stress etc) when I was chasing her. Nothing came cheap and like a fool, I was just forming mumu and gucking myself. She swore that nothing could ever happen between us  and that I was not the type of guy that she was LOOKING FOR..…Na sooo!

I remember our first BB conversation, I had barely sent her 2 chat-lines when she took it upon herself to tell me the following words….”N6 , are u sure you can manage me? I have trouble o! I am very demanding plus I am also very materialistic!”….(*CONFUSED SMILEY MOMENT*).

I don dey make small money now! Wetin dis yeye gal mean sef? Haba?…..So, I told her that if she was demanding and materialistic then me too I am “Providing and Material-ful”…Lets go there!! (*9ice voice*) So, I chased.  The full male animal in me was unleashed, life had suddenly become a jungle and I was the King Lion, and baby gal was my untamed female lioness!  I must ensure that we roared in unison…(and all that bollocks they type in Mills and Boons lol)

To cut a long story short, we went out for drinks one night! 3 bottles of Roses later (What can I say? Shawty is a FISH!), even the Queen material girl, Madonna would have been impressed with me. We danced and she let my hands travel all over her flawless “slightly older than mine” anatomy, moving seductively and breathing heavy.  She suddenly didn’t care about BOTH our very Public personalities and started kissing me right there on the dance floor.

Joor ooh!

Let’s go back to my Apartment?  I’m  not feeling this place anymore. What the hell do you think my answer was?

A-P-A-R-T-M-E-N-T
Kissing each others face off, cuddling, legs intertwined, hands and fingers roaming aimlessly. Trust me i’m good with my hands, I should have been an artisan like a mechanic or a welder or a carpenter! (Brrrr! I shudder to think of the thought, Thank God my life took a better turn).

Fuck the Bedroom! We did it right there on the Living room couch and the soft Persian rug and yes I used a condom you skin-diving idiots!  Heading to that bedroom was a loong tin at that moment! Needless to say till this day I have never watched SALT till the end but I beat her up worse than The Koreans beat Angelina Jolie in the opening scene. (Please don’t tell me what happened in the movie I still hope to watch it soon…..hopefully!)

NOW THE CLINCHER
Ladies, please don’t take this the wrong way and I don’t mean to sound offensive BUT……… I am ENDOWED…(Dbanj has got nothing on me). I live a very disciplined lifestyle, I jog 4 mornings a week, massive cardio and yoga workouts daily and I play basketball on weekends, (my job as an OAP with Coolfm means I work from 4pm till 9pm on weekdays so my mornings are always free). I eat a truckload of fruits and I don’t smoke Cigarettes….wink!  My Bedroom stamina is excellent and I dare you to interview any of my ex-galfriends and get a negative reading. #YEAHISAIDIT.

****It doesn’t mean that you babes should start harassing my life o!…..go and disturb Brian Pumper and Lexington Steele….I just say make I tell una sha!***

Back to the story about my lioness

So, shawty (still unnamed at this moment) didn’t know what she was in for. Let’s just say I went for hours and we’ll leave it at that, eh?!

Shouts, yells, screams, grunts, moans, oohs, aahs and OMG’s, I heard all sorts of sounds that nite.

And the Next night

and the night after that,

and the nite after that.

Then I heard all those sounds for 3 weeknights………………………………………….the next week.

And the week after that.

And the next month or 2….

I got…

………………..I LOVE YOU

One day after one of my Olympic Gold Medal performances, she told me those 3 words I wasn’t expecting….……….I LOVE YOU?  Not loudly though, just under her breath in between orgasmns!  This left me very confused… Where was the Materialism?  Where was her demand? I thought we was just shagging.

In a discussion with her friends, she had even referred to me as her fuck buddy once and as her “Lover” one other time but never as her boyfriend. So, I was very confused as to my relationship to her and with her.

How could you love me? When did you find out that you Loved Me?  What do you me love about me? Do you really love me ? Or you just Love Knacking Me? GTFOH!

A Materialistic, Demanding Girl was suddenly in love with Poor old me…..she was demanding for my materials more like!

Will continue with this story tomorrow…the internet connection is messing up (as everyone in Naija knows by now) and its better I send this portion then complete the story tomorrow rather than not sending nothing at all.

Don’t miss me too much o.

Sorry for not sending any Bizness b4 Pleasure reads of late. Blame it on a multitude of reasons e.g Faulty Internet Connections, NEPA/PHCN, No inspiration etc but none of them are right, i’ve just been mega bizy so please bear with me. I will make it up to you guys I promise….(*fingas crossd behind back).

Luv yall.

www.twitter.com/N6Bitch join my Madness!

I am 360……are you???!

N6B$%&@

N6B$%&@

I'M A SON, BROTHER, FRIEND, LOVER, ENTERTAINER, POET, LYRICIST, COOL-FM ON-AIR-PERSONALITY, ATHLETE, prospective BILLIONAIRE and all round fun guy.

15 comments

  1. Hehehe, N6 A.K.A. Micheal Nackson! is in serious trouble… can’t wait to see how you “jog and yoga” out of this one.

  2. Hehehe, N6 A.K.A. Micheal Nackson is in serious trouble… can’t wait to see how you “jog and yoga” out of this one.

  3. Lol @AnotherNoble…No vex dis is my articl dat has bin “Noble_ized!” Pls bear wit me.Just Stay Tuned The conclusion is a Classic!
    @Bnonymous….grab ur XL popcorn and a coke n stay tuned!
    @Shawty….pls stay tuned its worth evry second!

  4. *yawns*
    you have finally taken noble igwe’s path of rom -fi (romance fiction)

    you guys have a very fertile imagination.

  5. *YAWNNNNNNNNNN*….do y’all really have to come up with fables just to get horny lagos girls 2 shag u guys???? *YAWNNNNNNNN*

  6. Haha @ Fablesturnmeon.

    So this your tori, goes for both men and women. Enough said.

    But my own issue is the “clincher” part of the story. You oppress us with all the gory details of how you stay healthy and ish, tell us not to go gaga over you and then refer us to B-Pumper (of all peeps!). N6, tell me how is that fair? How o? smh sha…

    Ps: I know you didn’t mean to toot your own horn (yeah right) but damn, *beep beep*:)

    Last, so pretty much in SALT, Angelina gets abducted by the CIA. They beat her up worse than the Koreans did and feed her to 2 sharks. The end….

  7. @N6 Yea, right. RME…

    @shadenoncomformist SALT got fed to sharks?! OMG… How come i have this feeling she’ld still survive??! *sigh*

  8. @bLAKKDUDE….lol @ N6 “d monsta”..joor ooh!
    @Wildchild….YAWWWWWWWWN!!!!
    @Friday….Bad guy,im sure you hav enuf james bond tales urself?!
    @FablesTurnMeOn…and your Point Is….?!
    @Stamos….God bless ur hustle!
    @ShadeNonconform….Sory 2b such a TEASE,plus>>are u fackin kiddin me? is dat how SALT ends?! I just bot d DVD..(pirated tho!)cheeeei!
    @Shawty….Bless!
    @MIKE…why be say na dat line you like Pass?? huh?!

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