To say that I am upset is putting it mildly. Stark raving mad would be a better description. I should lock him up in a dark room, and torture him for days. Perhaps hold a gun to his head. I’ve hinted at it a million times and yet here I am, still waiting. I do not understand why he has refused to utter it. At this point if he just hummed it I’d be elated.
If it were a complicated word I’d be more understanding. This word has only four letters. How hard can it be? He has no issues opening his mouth at meal times. He is louder than a truck horn on football weekends. You need to see how vocal he gets playing his silly video games with his buddies. What is it about that word that gets him more silent than Chelsea fans after a defeat at Stamford Bridge?
This one time after weeks of frustration, I got him drunk. Did he say it? No nada. All I got for my effort was vomit stained sheets, and a very cranky man blaming me for his hangover. In hindsight, I realize that was not the best approach. I don’t give up easy so I tried a different strategy. I had scented candles, rose petals, his favorite meal, a bottle of red wine and my sexy lingerie. Did he say it? No nada. Cleaning up the aftermath of our tryst was not funny.
I see it in his eyes. Last night he kept fiddling with hands. I could see he was itching to say it. I inched closer to him. Hoping that would get the words out of him. He cleared his throat a few times I tilted my head so my ears would be directly in the line of fire. Just as he was about to say it, his phone rang. Now even gadgets are against me. I am still waiting.
I asked his best friend, and he said he’ll tell you when he’s ready. Yeah right at this rate hell will freeze over first. Maybe he thinks it will change the way I look at him. He means the world to me, I could never think him a weaker man for saying it. I really need him to say that 4-letter word. Is it such a big deal? Am I being unreasonable? Men say it all the time. Why won’t my man say it? Fine he could send me a text. I know it’s not the same feeling but at least it would be out there.
I have decided to give him a week to say it to me. If he doesn’t I will throw the mother of all tantrums. So if you’re reading this baby, your time starts now. You have exactly seven days to open your extremely sexy mouth and say that 4-letter word. Just look me straight in the eyes and say “Honey, I LOST our wedding ring”.
LMAO! Oh my, you’re disappointed. You actually thought I was waiting for him to say “I LOVE you”. In the words of chief prankster Ashton Kutcher “You’ve just been PUNK’D”
It was pretty funny though, admit it I see you holding back your laughter. Don’t choke on it, go on and let it out. Good, now don’t you feel better?
On that festive note, I’d like to welcome you to my world. You may call me Jazz and I’ll call you dear reader. In other news, dear reader I wish you a Happy Valentine’s. It is the season of romance; do not be afraid to utter that other 4-letter word “LOVE”. Don’t be strangers; make sure you visit frequently. It gets very lonely here without you. I look forward to your next visit.
Love always, Jazz.