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As I walked out of the wedding reception to the waiting car, I thought about the old couple that sat with me at the table. How they were able to look each other in the eyes and still feel love and not resentment, how they spoke softly to each other and still called themselves darling or dear; that really baffled me and my mind was in turmoil. How am I ever going to land a man (most dudes, don’t even want to go places with their babes, talk less of pamper them at an event) like that, one who will love, care and cater to me!!!

As the thoughts filled my mind, I saw from the corner of my eye this dude walking towards me but I was too deep in thought to care.  Before I knew it, it was wham!!! And I was on my arse (WTF!!!) ‘What in the world’ I screamed, ‘Can’t you watch where you are going’? He made to pick me up but I screamed even louder!!! ‘What were you thinking’ (wasn’t I the one who was deep in thought! Women!! SMH) Can’t you watch where you are going?  He stood still, was pretty calm and just watched me rant. When I was done, he looked at me, apologized for bumping into me, helped to pick me up but added that ‘It was I who didn’t watch where I was going’. What! Such nerve!!! I was furious, but there was a point to what he said (whatever), I was still mad as hell and he could see it in my eyes, I started gathering up my purse and other stuff from the ground and he made to help, but in my coldest of voices, I told him to ‘back off’.  He watched me as I walked towards the car waiting for me and he made towards me again. He held my arm, ‘What now (eyes rolling); my arse can’t take another slamming’ I blurted out.  He laughed and I couldn’t help but laugh as well (slamming, really!!! great choice of words baby dee). He apologized again, saying he didn’t mean to upset me and all. We exchange cards and when he saw my card, he was like wow a banker (eyes rolling, so what).

Olopade Wellington* was his name; he was tall, dark, well built and had the cutest lips I had ever seen. Now call this a fairytale, or whatever you want but Paddy was all these things. I smiled at his card (maybe he was the one I was searching for, my prayers had been answered; yeah right desperado) and headed back to Protea Hotel.

I sat in my room, watching TV and going through my timeline on twitter, when my phone rang. It was Paddy, he wanted us to meet. I suggested the Hotel pool side and we decided to meet there at 8pm. I got to the pool side at 8.10pm and there he was sitting quietly in one corner.  He was really good looking and a fantastic dresser (hmmm, how to get him in the sack; I dismissed my thoughts). We hit it off, talking about everything.  He is the first son of his folks, grew up in Lagos and after his secondary school education he went to the states to further his studies. He played college football (explains the broad shoulders and build), loves music, hence he is the executive producer of his younger brother’s music group, he is the Advert Manager for his father’s political campaign and he wants to flight his own computer company (only one person bah!).  All this and he was just 28 years old!!! (Wow, just 2years younger than myself). I was baffled; Paddy was all that and a bag full of chips.  He was confident but not cocky, pleasant, lovable and really SEXY. I really liked him, but I needed to be careful. He had all that I wanted, he was so slick and cool, saying all the sweet nothings I wanted to hear; like a real master of the game I was totally engrossed by that.  But my reality radar started ticking, (what are you doing girl!!!) I wanted love this time and not just sex, I want that, relationship that will lead to marriage, bliss and a long time of fond memories and staring into each others eyes. I was truly determined to make it happen this time (yet to be seen) if that wasn’t what Paddy was about, then I needed to get my stepping.

We took a walk around the premises of the hotel, all the while; my hands were in his. By midnight, we were more like old friends that had known each other for ages.

He walked me to my room and just at the door (this time I didn’t fiddle with my key card oh!!!) he pulled me closer and gently placed a very wet one on me!!!(Hmmm). My mind was a whirlwind, it was a kiss but it wasn’t just any kiss (this one was deep). It lingered, surveying every part of my mouth at some point, it was actually leaving me breathless but I still yearned for more. His hands caressed my shoulders, back and he even grabbed my arse (not like those ghetto grabbing). Slowly and gradually, it came to an end with my lips still pouted for more of his. I looked at him steadily and invited him inside my room (so much for no sex). But to my dismay, he declined the offer and promised to take me to the airport to the next day. I didn’t feel slighted one bit, as I wanted to see him all the more. I slept off, dreaming of him and how I was going to make a relationship with him work. I was going to give it my best, not allow sex to cloud my judgment, be the kind of woman he wanted, try to build something solid and out of this world with him.

I didn’t have to wait long for Paddy the next day; he was at the hotel on time. I checked out and we headed to the airport; on our way, he told me he had to be in Abuja for a while (yeeepa, long distance; how will I build something from afar) he had to get somethings sorted for his dad’s campaign, but he promised we will definitely keep in touch.  At the airport he held on to me, touching me and really giving me PDA and all. I was totally in the euphoria and enjoying the moment ’cause I hadn’t been pampered or given TLC like this from a single guy that I totally liked(growing old with him, might just be cool); it made me sad that we were parting. I bid him goodbye and boarded my flight to Lagos.

In Lagos, I got into work; since I had had my distraction. All through the day, I had Paddy on my mind, his caresses, his teasing and his kiss, it was too much!!! The dude however didn’t fail to communicate; he sent witty messages; teasing me and putting me at ease that he was thinking of me as I was him. We had long conversations on the phone about work, our dreams and what we still wanted to achieve in life (for me, he was all that I wanted to achieve). As Paddy landed Lagos, his first point of call was my office. He came to pick me for breakfast which we had at ‘Cactus’ on the Island. We gisted, more about him and his business; which was coming up soon, he was in search of an office space for his company, his brother’s group were about to release a video for one of their songs and other things were moving smoothly.  He dropped me at work and we continued talking, he always picked up from work and once in a while, we did either breakfast or lunch. I was in seventh heaven with Paddy, it felt so surreal but it was very real. I was always very careful and didn’t want to let my guard down with him (meaning, I didn’t want to ask him; where this thing we had was going or if it was a relationship), as I didn’t know what he really wanted.


The reality of the situation dawned on me when Paddy came to pick me from work. As I descended the stairs of my office, I saw him standing at the foot of the staircase waiting for me, looking cool and calm like he always did and my heart melted for him. We got into his car and I just settled in his arms, he held me like he will never let me go and he squeezed me tightly. We kissed, not minding the driver; when we took a break, he told me that he was travelling to the States to pack up his stuff (okay!!!) ‘How long are you gone for’, he said only 2 weeks (ah that’s not so bad nah?).

He was coming back to settle fully now, all the better for me sef.  We got to my house and we sat, talking about nothing in particular. The thing was, I was scared, I couldn’t ask Paddy what his plans were ’cause I didn’t want to drive him away with my compulsion to settle down with the ideal man. We like each other, but maybe that was just it, LIKED. So after sitting, holding each other and kissing in my father’s house, he asked if we could go to the room (hmmm, I no want that one oh!!!) I pretended like I didn’t hear, and continued holding him and kissing him, and telling him how I was truly going to miss him. When it was time to head out, I walked him downstairs to the door and as we were about to walk out, Paddy held me back and started kissing me. I responded fully, as I totally ached to have him, he kissed, teased me and made me purr like a cat (meow). His hands made his way to my breast, as he cupped them one after the other, my bra was undone in an instance and his lips made their way to them; as he began to lick and suck them like a baby(speechless).  He teased me for quite a bit and I was totally digging it and him, his hands were moving down to my thighs and he was gently moving up my leg when I suddenly got myself!!! Not now Paddy, and not like this, without a word, he slowed down, kissed me and backed off (was that real, did I really want him to stop) I walked him to his car and that was it.

While in States, Paddy never called me; when I called he would gist a bit and tell me he had to go to the studio, run some errands or pack his stuff. After a while, anytime I called, my calls kept going to divert (what!) I sent text messages, bb messages but there was no immediate response from him. I took to facebook and twitter, sending him messages which he responded with a one liner or even a word (as the spirit moves). He shifted his return date and kept treating me like a step child. I was distraught (who wouldn’t be), I started doubting myself, what was wrong with me, I could willingly give myself to Uwa and Donny but I refused a brother who was totally digging me and I him. It went on like this and it really started telling on my work and on my body. I was losing weight and couldn’t help drifting into thoughts of Paddy, especially the good times and this was affecting my work. I refused anyone’s help and just wallowed in my own thoughts. Work was a solace, but I hated it when I had to think, as this just made me think of him the more.

After 3weeks of this (with friends on my case – plus I am baby dee, why would i let a man affect me so much), I snapped out of my state and decided, it just wasn’t worth it at all. I started going for movies, hanging out and attending parties with friends just to get myself back in shape.  But I still wanted Paddy; I had fallen for him hook, line and sinker. Just the thought of him, still gave me jitters and I couldn’t help it, I just had to call him once in a while, but by now, he had totally moved on from our ordeal and he couldn’t care less.

He was back from his trip obviously and didn’t really think or bother to call or check on me. I ran into him at a couple of gigs but I always had to re-introduce myself to him as the lady he bumped into a while back in Abuja (guess he had selective amnesia). I swallowed everything with a pinch of salt, maybe it was God’s way of punishing me for the wrong I had done, maybe I should have seized the bull by the horn and told him; I wanted a relationship and not a fling or maybe it was just me sulking for a dude that I wished lighten will strike and burn to a crisp.

Anyhoo, I sadly let Paddy go, but I was determined more than ever to find that man ‘The Potent’ that will truly be mine, also have fun while searching for him and throw that not having sex yet part down the drain, Right?!!!

* As i would not like to disclose the real name of Paddy – i have addressed him as Olopade Wellington in this article.*

Baby Dee

Baby Dee

Baby Dee, a highly sexy, sumtimes physical n yet subtle lady; has her eyes on 1 thing, finding d right guy. Risen in her professional career 2 a job she enjoys in a bank she refuses d tag ‘Single Banker’. 'THE POTENT’ is Baby Dee’s personal diary of dealings with people of opposite sex n how these experiences shape her.


  1. @baby dee. so u feel down bt got up again dats. Dont try 2 hard, slow down. Ur lukin at d outside coz u hv already place a pix in ur head bt wot happen 2 d 1st guy dat took u 2 abj

  2. HOL’UP! u were reading our comments from your last potent post…then paddy travelled for 2weeks and even extended his stay? then 3months later u started partying to 4get paddy…?and dis is potent3? *heavy sigh* what r u on about girl? are these past events? im confused….

  3. Thank you very much LMEO for your observation and dont be confused. i am very glad i have an ardent reader like urself who pointed this out to me. The potent is a mix of all events(past and present) as they happened to me. Stay hooked for more from me.

  4. Errrrm all I gotta say is it serves u right :p…u r nt getting any younger tho…u made it easy 4 him..u want to settle down and when u meet a paddy,na sex kum to ur head…women of nowadays una too much..

  5. @ baby dee @lmeo so was i bt when i read it dis morn. It was ‘I sat in my room, watching TV and going through my
    timeline on potents’ bt nw its changed

  6. sweety remove that
    handsome man
    off your head and give a chance to the average joes around you
    the guys that fall into the TDH category are almost always full of shit
    I am not saying reduce your standard but theres no “mill and boon ” kind of guy that will meet all the criteria these days

    will you be willing to give a tall,dark,ok looking,booring,jew man ,with an ok job a chance?

    If you wont then your wait is going to be real looooong o
    nuff said

    1. K…so, I didn’t know who Bode Pedro was, but I googled him *if you like, call me a stalker; is it your laptop/internet? :-)*…as of ’09, he was 26 so maybe, and his resume is impressive. My issue sha is…he is not cute. That he’s facially challenged doesn’t bug me, but if he’s the guy Babydee described in the above passage, that would make me question her taste. #thatisall#

  7. “..I was determined more than ever to find that man ‘The Potent’ that will truly be mine, also have fun while searching for him and throw that not having sex yet part down the drain, Right?!!!”

    Wrong. The reason he cut contact with you is most likely not because you didn’t have sex with him. If he was just horny, he could’ve shagged someone while he was gone and still tried to bed you when he got back. He just wasn’t that into you…and you’re probably better off without him and his selective amnesia-having ass.


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