THE POTENT: ‘Lifestyle of a single banker’ (2)

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As I moved unto the next dude, I was pretty ‘hopeful’ that the good Lord will bless me with someone great!!! (Praying loudly).

Anyhoo, as I prayed and prayed a blast from my past Donny, waltz into my life.  Donny, I met in my final year at ABU as introduced by an aunty.  As in what could be more exciting and fulfilling, graduating from Uni and having a boyfriend that could wanted to marry me.  We met over the phone but believe me it was always wonderful to talk to him. We spoke about school related stuff and since he was a former Abusite, it wasn’t really boring. Whenever we spoke, he always ended the conversation with ‘be a good girl’; which didn’t really sit well with me (am a grown arse woman jor), but I put up with it.

When we eventually met in Lagos I was like, HUH!!! what a huge difference the telephone makes as he wasn’t really what I expected, but since I wasn’t a very ‘physical’ person (I had dated a guy shorter than me some years back) I shrugged my shoulders and thought to myself – I’ll make this ONE work (wrong attitude girl!!!).

It was Christmas of 2004; he came to town for the season (he lived in Port Harcourt) and we decided to hang out.  Now Donny wasn’t a really reeeally local man, but he loved hanging out in places like mammy market, staff clubs, all those places that one could get cheap beer and all.  Initially, I didn’t mind (shey one has to be open minded sometimes) but after a while, I was a bit worried ’cause I didn’t want to be seen in those places (I had tried na, after so many LOCAL hangout spots, ’twas only right for me to choose a place for us to go to, No?) so I suggested that on Christmas day, we did something that I, Baby Dee would like to do which was to Go and see a movie.

On the d-day, I was excited about Donny and I seeing a movie together.  For the first time we were doing my own thing(nothing wrong in testing out if your guy can settle in your own environment). But there was a twist (eyes rolling) we had to go to his friend’s place for a child dedication (or so I thought). The venue of this dedication, O-j-o-t-a!!! I didn’t complain(as a ‘good girl’), I wasn’t dressed for a child dedication but I went anyway.  We got there and had a couple of drinks while he gisted with his friends.  I reminded him (a few times too) of the movie and he kept saying we would go, we would go.  Eventually, yes you guessed right, we didn’t make it to the cinema and by the time I got home, I was sure we were not on the same dating or getting married page.

I went to serve in Jos, Plateau State. While I was serving, he had a training in Zaria and invited me over to visit him. On this glorious day, the ‘red devil’ visited me. Hey, call me superstitious but when my period comes when I’m about to embark on some adventure, it’s a clear sign of possible trouble!!!

I got to Zaria and had to stay with my BFF for obvious reasons, but I didn’t hear the end of it from Donny o.  He whined n wailed and I refused to budge. We spoke about how the season eventually turned out and of course marriage (every woman’s dream), but I wasn’t buying it. I felt we were from two different schools of thought; me the new, he the old.  He never tried my own lifestyle and I didn’t feel too comfortable with his.  We were just at different ends and I didn’t see anything coming out of it, so I just dropped him like a hot potato.

Fast forward six year later, Donny calls me, starts rapping that we are older, we know better, we should settle down and get married (As if!!!).  Since we’re both STILL single(and as the girls in the streets aren’t smiling), i thought let me give him another chance, after all what would i have to loose.  Best to try all available possible partners I thought so the gods wont say it was my fault, i have ended up been single at 40(I reject it in Jesus name).  So, I go head first, into our first rekindling date.  Hmmm, the date happens to be without any real conversation or gist….and of course at this time i thought to myself ‘Na who send me’ but as a child of God with heart and soul, i tarried with this date(my mother taught me well).

Date is over and we head to his place for light refreshments as i wanted to see how this would end(nothing wrong with that).  He gets all ‘fresh’ with me and I responded (as you can remember how that Uwa did not really satisfy my girlie needs (batting eyelashes)), and trust me a girl has needs, we get in the room and foul play begins and, whataatt, did my jaw drop.  Donny was great(A++), he gave me the best ‘head’ I ever had, I orgasmed twice. When he moved to the main koko, his hips movement was forceful, yet gentle; he had me doing the splits like a ballerina, twist like a Barbadian and generally going up and down like a stripper. We did it in all the various positions I knew and then we did his and by the time we were done, I was exhausted, it felt like I had just participated in a marathon but I was indeed very satisfied.

When we woke up in the morning, I was all over him, feeling like a child and staring into his eyes and just glad that I took the plunge with him.  I decided to try and make a conversation which was the main problem I had with him, cause, I couldn’t let this African stallion go back into the wild.  So we started talking about our jobs. I was telling him about some story I read about his organization and he was like whoa, how do I know all that???(I read duh, don’t you!!!?). He asked me about my work and I told him it’s all I ever wanted, it allows me travel within and outside the country, I had the opportunity to work with a great team and build a fantastic brand for my bank, only for him to say, what time am I going to have for family, kids and my home???   How will our kids grow up and be nurtured, how will he eat cause he is sure my office will run late hours.

By this time I was like shuoo….dude are you from the stone ages, getting married doesn’t mean I will do all the housework or become your SLAVE!!!!  Am I the first woman in this world to work and run a home, what happened to support(I’m sure the Bible refrenced this) or is your only understanding of support financial?  And who says you can’t help with the kids once in a while, take care of the home or supervise the househelp. He was dumb struck; I just dressed up, picked up my bag and didn’t look back.

==> On to the next one, abegi!!!

Baby Dee

Baby Dee

Baby Dee, a highly sexy, sumtimes physical n yet subtle lady; has her eyes on 1 thing, finding d right guy. Risen in her professional career 2 a job she enjoys in a bank she refuses d tag ‘Single Banker’. 'THE POTENT’ is Baby Dee’s personal diary of dealings with people of opposite sex n how these experiences shape her.


  1. Ah han babe, u for cool down now! Ur body dey hottt… D guy already has 2 passes- single and fantastic in bed! U shda heard him out and reasoned wit him! Babes r not smiling o!

  2. Wo,bebe,na konji go kill you oh.D guy get three pluses:nice job,nice straffs and is single. Ki ori e ma kpe o!!! Na wa for all these lagos babes now, y’all be asking too much from us…

  3. U don’t need to get vexed,he was just tellin you what he retrospect,u sud have done the same and reached a compromise.
    Well u didn’t lose totally,he ravaged you and left u satisfied.let’s hope ur next guy(on to the next one) won’t disappoint.
    If I might ask,what do u want in a Man?

  4. After u straf him nah…dey do ya women empowerment till u get to 40yrs and u r still a woman,ur responsibility is to ur home 1st nt some banking establishment .u go old waitin 4 a naija man to take care of d family like sharing responsibilities at home with ya……….get sense.u r nt a kid…fuck all dese whiteman lifestyle u c on tv o…..

  5. Guys
    I don’t think there is anything wrong with having a Career and a family..
    Guys I know for a fact that we would all have preferred if our mums where working not @ the Civil Service but proper jobs with a very nice package.
    It not about getting married, you should still have a place or time that makes you fulfilled.
    It your life too…

  6. What can i say, thank you all for the comments!!!What i want from a man, is quiet simple; if am going to cook, clean, wash, handle some responsibilities in the home and then give you great sex @ night, you should be able to do something for me too no matter what it is. But after all said, i respect all of you.

  7. with the way you are going, “you will find husband to marry or at least have a steady lover in your bed…Whichever scenario tickles your fancy” Franque…

    no ne has it all, u jst gotta set ur priorities rite and be ready to compromise on some…dats how it works…#itws a nice piece of read tho..

  8. lolzzzz hahahahahahahahahah Mr Donny ke! omo me sha i have resolved i am definitely gonna need da help of a ‘MALE’ Cook…(i repeat ‘Male’ jst in case, i dnt like surprises, diaz no way my husband can eva be Gay so matters arising already solved!)

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