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Relationships… sometimes I wonder if I’m okay or not just human.  Everyone around me thinks being in a relationship is a life goal. I believe it will be simpler if a relationship is considered a contract and not anything out of the ordinary. I will like to know your point view however I wish to explain certain things.

I digress….

I wonder what gets people ticking, why they feel being in a romantic relationship is necessary. Not that I’m judging but some people are needy or just don’t understand the dynamics of a relationship.

I’ve observed that there are two ships that set sail in the life of a man. One is Friendship and the other Relationship. You then notice that the first ship to set sail is friendship, I might be wrong but friendship lasts longer than romantic relationships (but that’s just me). Take a second to think, how many boyfriends or girlfriends have you had in your lifetime and how many friends do you have?

Back to my point

These questions keep coming back to me, is it compulsory to be involved in a relationship? Is it an achievement? Not being involved in a relationship, does it make you an odd individual?

I have friends who have been in relationships for 3, 4, 5 years. I’ve seen the ups and downs of relationships and I recognize the inability of man to recognize when a relationship is failing.  However, the surprising thing is that most of them have either quit the relationship or are stressed out.

Then I ask, why do you stick with someone for 3, 4, 5 years of your life (36, 48, 60 months), when you could have been doing something more productive with such time, then end the relationship. This is actually the funny part they can’t proffer me with an answer. Then it hits me, people confuse dating for courtship, i mean  just because conflict involves violence doesn’t make it organized warfare.

The inability of people to draw a fine line between dating and courtship has been responsible for much heartbreaks (the usual outcome of a broken relationship). While courtship is a prelude to marriage, dating on the other hand is having a social or romantic partner not necessarily leading to marriage. People put too much effort into dating (one form of relationship) thinking it’s a courtship(another distinct form of relationship) especially in Nigeria where there’s this notion that every relationship must end at the altar.

The earlier people realize this difference the better for them * but I might not be right*.  In addition to the mix-up, the notion of love and being in love also complicates relationships and leads to their abrupt end. Have you ever heard of drowning your partner in the sea of love but that’s for another time.

This is the month of love have fun. I wish everyone in a successful relationship good luck and people in a rocky relationship good luck…. Till next time.

Article written by Abido



Regular guy with countless thots going thru his mind. Simple, jovial, easy-going always wondering why things are what they are. I’m different things 2 a lot of people -a son 2 few, a brother to sum, a friend 2 many n enemy 2 none(frm my angle). Believes in God. A realist always trying 2b objective*a difficult human trait*, however I’m simply just ME (no definition 4 that).


  1. I totally agree with you when you said “people confuse dating for courtship”. Its a sad situation cos we Nigerian dont know the difference. “in Nigeria where there’s this notion that every relationship must end at the altar” blame this notion on SOCIETY. “The inability of people to draw a fine line between dating and courtship”, the sooner people lable what they are getting into before actually getting into it, the better for us all. Lets stop the assumption and leaving room for assumptions. People need to grow up and be straight forward!!! Nice article.

  2. we can’t marry everyone that we date and we don’t have to marry just cos we have dated. some folks come into our life to shape and mould us for that person that we are eventually gonna spend the rest of our lives with…
    i like the line “friendship lasts longer than romantic relationships” and that’s why one is always advised to marry his or her friend cos marriage can be tough sumtyms and wen luv and the affection and all tha sweet rubbish is fading away,at least frienship we keep your marriage going….

    simple, str8forward & honest article
    welldone abido

  3. @Abimbola C… I agree with you that people need to grow up as well as know what they want out of a relationship whether its just fun or the ‘real deal’

    @bcgeorge… Building a marriage on the foundation of friendship is acutally a good idea.what people fail to acknowledge is that,in marriage,love can actually fade away…

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