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This is not a cry for help.

When my girlfriend and I broke up I, like other people before me, sought to solve a deeper problem with a surface solution.

Some will turn to Drink, others will turn to women, yet others will turn to God. Most people think about their options, some are led there by advice.

Me, I never thought about it. My option just happened to me. I turned to WOMEN.

#Right in front of Me

We had met very briefly five years ago. It was my cousin’s birthday and she had brought a friend home to help her take food, drinks and birthday stuff to school. I made small talk with her, then promptly forgot about her when they left the house that morning.

Over the course of the next three years, I met her only one other time – that I can remember. My cousin had brought her by my place on some random errand.

I teased, then flirted with her a little that day. We swapped numbers and I called her a few times, each time fixing a date, and then finding a reason to cancel – my job came with a goody bag of ready-made excuses. The calls became few and far between, then finally stopped.

Just recently I got a BB contact request. Although the name registered, I still could not believe it was her, literally out of the blues. I promptly accepted and we very quickly got very chummy. I invited her to see a movie and she said yes.

Now, inviting a lady to the movies on your first date has tactical advantages. The M O is: arrive earlier to case out the cinema. That way you know exactly what is showing – which may differ from what was posted online. You also get the opportunity to watch her arrive – that way you can check her out properly without being observed.  If you have never met, just give a vague description of yourself – that way you can walk a few paces behind her and observe her with her guards down. With the knowledge of what is showing, you steer the movie choice how you want it – Action/Thriller if she is not such a dish, complete with popcorn taking the seat between you. Or a Romantic comedy/Horror with the popcorn starting out on your laps, and ending up anywhere but between you.

I digress…

Watching her arrive, I could not help noticing how grown up she was. The movie date went well enough to prompt other dates.

I felt we were onto something, and always amazed at how she had been right in front of me all the time. Then we had a talk that changed everything. We could never be together like that.

We still had our friendship, but that one thing hung there, a sword of Damocles, over our heads.

#Enter My N1 babe.

When I first heard MI’s N1, I thought to myself “Really beautiful. The best thing a woman can say to her man if she really means it.” But knowing people like I did, I knew the chances of finding  THAT one was 1:1,000,000. Then those odds gate crashed my life!

I was minding my business, set for work and waiting for my aircraft to arrive from an earlier flight, when some colleagues started quizzing me about the twist in my single life. I fielded their questions so well, GEJ would have been proud of me. Having exhausted their questions, two got up to get drinks from the restaurant. I went with them because I was too restless to remain in a place.

It was while we were waiting for the drinks when she pulled me to the side and said quietly, “You don’t know me, but I understand what you are going through. I am living through the same, and that’s why I didn’t ask you any questions. People usually don’t get it.”

From that moment a friendship was forged. We spoke a lot – talking about anything and everything. Hung out at work any chance we got. The first time she visited me, I tried to see my place through her eyes and I liked what I saw: a work in progress, but warm and homely. She did not judge me.

In the weeks that followed, I saw that she had been to life’s kitchen and back – she had the vouchers to prove it. She would take a bus with me, jump an okada with me, take a keke NAPEP for me. Oh, and she would ride in a Limo with me. She was my N1 babe.


Even though I had started the year with a resolution to not fall in love again, I felt I was ready to try something new. In order to do so, I knew I had to un-clutter my plate. So when Miz Way-back-when asked if I was free for a visit, I said yes.

She arrived at mine that Saturday morning and we had breakfast. After breakfast we lay down and watched a movie. I waited, hoping a proper opportunity would present itself for me to tell her about my N1 babe. It did not take me long to realize that I would have to create that opportunity for myself – fate did not seem interested in helping me here.

Finally, I took a deep breath and was about to tell her when my phone rang – N1 babe calling – and the moment was gone. She called a number of times that day, and I distinctly remember three occasions when I wanted to tell her I had a guest over. I never did.

Lying there, her on top of me, her mammaries pressing against me, it took all of my will power to keep from ravaging her. And when she nuzzled my neck in that manner she had, I knew I had to end this.

I got up, and was in the bedroom contemplating how best to break it to her and return the change of clothes she left at my place, without causing much hurt, when she walked in and matter-of-factly said “Where is that my gown sef? And my pair of slacks?”

Feeling the relief wash over me at being saved all that talk, I quietly handed her the garments.

When she left, I had a distinct feeling that she knew it was the end of a chapter. Oh well…

The next day, chilling with N1 babe, we were just jiving when she asked when last I saw Miz Way-back-when. “Yesterday” I said, and felt the oxygen get sucked out of the atmosphere.

Long story short, she would not talk to me. I was reduced to BB pings.

Sitting here on board this aircraft headed for Abuja, I read her messages again and I shuddered.

» ‎​D only reason u didn’t tell me abt it was cus u had sex wit her.

» ‎​I have forgiven u…I mean, I cnt stay angry wit u for long, but weda I wnt to cntinue datn u or not, is wht I’ll hve to dcide. Cus u can kill me in d future. Ud mke me trust u sooo much n just 1 slip, everything will crash

» ‎​Even in ur heart, u know I have tried. I have ignored every1s talk, I hve kpt my head high n pretended like I didn’t care what they think,

» D only thing u cld hve done for me was to prove them wrong but…

In retrospect, I did give her reason to doubt me, but what can one say to accusations such as these? I have never been one for hard sell, so as I watch the aircraft door shut, I feel myself slip into a shell. But like a grub, I know – we all know – that I will push my way out of this cocoon. What remains to be seen though is: will I emerge a Butterfly? Or a Moth?

PS: Our egos let us think we are all snowflakes – no two alike. But we really want the same things: LOVE, FORGIVENESS AND CHOCOLATES. Happy Valentine’s!!!



"Franque is in aviation, which by the way is not his job, just a lifestyle. If he ever kept a diary it would read like his articles will. Unfortunately he doesn't. Scratch that. He didn't.AIRtiquette is a walk in his shoes. Since regular isn't in his vocabulary, brace yourself for a bit of airwalking!" Follow @franque_521 on twitter.


  1. …awwwww. *wipes tear* no wonder!

    ..and abt ya movie-date theory, u’ve gat questns to answer. Serzly. :p

    happy valz day, franque.

  2. Franque didn’t realize u nw write on mondays, thank God I follow 360nobs on twitter.
    Nice article as alwayz… *snif snif*

  3. I love the last two lines…and although I am valentine-less (I hate most chocolates & flowers anyway), happy valentine’s day, Franque. I wish you much love, forgiveness, and whatever else you like.

  4. I realli just wanted to lurk this time around….
    U just make it so hard not to have an opinion/post a comment on ur writeups.
    Fantastic read as usual…

  5. @ MzSwitz, Ready n Village_M: thanx for lettin me share ur Valentine’s.
    @ everyone wonderin @ a Monday post: we’ll still have our regular on Fri. Clue: It’s fatherWOOD Friday. 😀

  6. @ inLove: as long as na think u dey think, my handle is @AIRtiquette.
    @ SheGot_S: thanx. iNo get choose o, anything for y’all.

  7. Aww. that’s sad. I like N1 babe. That sucks and obviously hurts. Sigh…

    You had better come out as a butterfly.

    May God give us the grace and wisdom to do what is right, keep our egos in check, and not hurt/take advantage of those who truly care about us.

    Happy bs day Frank:)

  8. For once I am speechless, in a good way lol. lol you had better don’t push too hard and let nature take its course (so you can become a glorious butterfly) lest you tear your wings or they become shriveled. Hope I didn’t just shame my years of biology haha

  9. @ Shade: iLike N1 babe too. Amen to the prayer.
    And happy bs day to you too.
    @ Miz_N: speechless works for me – sometimes. Your Biology teacher’ll be mighty proud of you.
    As for what comes out of the cocoon, let’s hope it’s not a Troll, or Fairy – pun intended 😀

  10. I don’t understand why u can’t just refer to them as breasts? Why did u have to call them mammries? I really don’t get it *shrug*
    Anways it was definitely a good read! Love it

  11. @ Sash: sorry #oyaNoVex. Blame my Ma. There were words growin up we could never say @ home, so iGot me a dictionary n got alternative words – some of which she didn’t even kno the meanin off 😀
    @ Chiny: thanx.

  12. First, LOL at your disclaimer at the top notifying us that it is not a cry for help.
    Second, unless you left out an important piece, I am inclined to think that N1 babe either did not trust you entirely, or has self-esteem issues. That you saw the other chic the day before does not mean you had sex with her. For her to jump there so quickly, she must think little of you – which she alluded to with the whole mention of “I have ignored every1s talk” so I’m going to have to stray from the crowd and say “good riddance.” The last thing anybody needs is a paranoid lover who goes haywire at the mere mention of an ex. You either trust completely, or you don’t go there – that’s my policy. So, YOUR chic is out there coz, no fear! Till then, keep drinking Kaiveerah and Worah and keep looking good! LOL!

    Oh, and great read (you know now)

  13. @ Kem: thanx.
    @ M E: and ppl wonder y iHav issues coz? Wiv brains lyk urs common place in d house, who won’t? 😀
    Btw, if u have a number for my ‘chic’ that’s out there, sms it to me.
    Love y’all loads.

  14. I totally love ur N1 chic and let me state that am 1 for viewing both sides of the coin. She probably jumped to that conclusion because you guys talk about everything under d sun and wen she had to ask before you told her, she must hav felt like you were hiding sumting (the only plausable ting being that you had sex with Miz-way-back-when) Maybe her resistance to “all-the-talk” had worn thin. That of cos isnt reason enuf to probably cast aspersions on ur person. But U sef Frank,why you no tell her WETIN DEY? Silence aint always GOLDEN

  15. Listening to 1 naira and then stumbled on this post. I have sha cried in this office. Franque, maka why? You should have told her…I can understand why she went off like that. She has ignored so many wagging tongues and then this happens. (Sigh), I am so sad right now.

    BTW That N1 song is so cool sha.

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