Memoirs Of A SLU…shhkid : Wk 36

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I’m currently typing under the influence …I’m writing under the influence of sleep. I’ve had so much fun it felt like a sin and I was using my birthday as an excuse.

On the eve of my birthday, I was at tribeca to support during the Industry Night but also to meet his new girl friends.

My intention is not to drag MI in the Mud but because I believe that whatever we share on memoirs, remains with us. Right?

It’s no longer news that MI has got something for white chics but it’s huge news that he left his Nigerian chic for a white babe.

However, I totally support him cos from what I heard there’s something special about white chics and because of this special attribute, MI is currently seeing two ladies.

Ladies and gentlemen, please meet Agbonma and Adaugo.


Thursday February 10th, 2011.


My birthday met me at Tribeca and it was a cool moment with different peeps walking up to me to say “Happy birthday” and then the calls started coming through. I felt so loved that at some point I had to turn off my phone to concentrate on the event.

At about 3am.

I thought I was dreaming but it was so real that when I woke up I felt some sticky wetness around the fly of my boxers and it was real. I got my first birthday gift from Amber Rose and for those of you that know, we go way back.



I got loads of Cake and other stuff from different people but I also got stuff from a secret admirer. If you are reading this, thank you very much.

My day was all about “Happy birthday “ calls, tweets,SMS and then The Call.

Nobs: Hey Bee

Biola: Hey Nobs

Nobs: What’s new ?

Biola: So how come I’m not invited to this Noble is my Dude or are you taking your rope with you?

Nobs: Ropu kwa? Who”s my rope?

Biola: Slim

Nobs: You need to stop insulting her

Biola: Anyways, what’s the plan for the night?

Nobs: I’ll be at Bacchus with friends and you can come through if you wish

Biola: If I wish? I don’t get that?

Nobs: Come through to Bacchus

Biola: Is that how to invite your woman?

Nobs:  Ok. Dear Biola, please join me at Bacchus tonight for my birthday celebrations.

Biola: Ok boo but you have to promise me one thing?

Nobs: What’s that?

Biola: You ‘ll let me ride you in Bacchus male toilet.

Nobs: Is that going to be my birthday present?

Biola: Ask for anything and you’ll get.

Nobs: Hmmmmmmm

Biola: Yes, anything.



While driving I tried to reach my international appearance and personal styling consultant, Ibilola. (Check out but her phone was switched off.

I got home, had my bath and changed into a MAI for a dinner with the boys.

Dinner was good and we had to move to Bacchus for the major event.

It started like the normal “Noble is my Dude” with Lights, Camera and Action.

I had cup cakes with “N” on them and they were begging to be eaten.

My people came through for me and performed some of my favourite songs.

MI & Waje performed “ One Naira”, MI & Lami performed “ Know”, Banky W performed 3 different songs and then MI closed up performances with “No 1”.


Thank you Banky W, MI, Beazy, Waje, Lami, Muna, and loads of people that I can’t mention .God bless you real good.

So the party was all fun until Biola stepped in looking all smashing with a girl beside her.

She walked to me and whispered

Biola :I can see your boys are here

Nobs : Yup

Biola : Who’s at yours?

Nobs : E and Boogie

Biola : So what is your plan for me?

Nobs : You didn’t tell me that you wanted to spend the night

Biola : I actually don’t want to

Nobs : Oh cool.

We danced for a long time if though all I was thinking was she and I having a rough one in the toilet but I didn’t want to bring up the conversation.

I think the champers go to me a lil because at some point, I placed my hands on Biola’s bum and that was when I noticed that she was wearing no panties.

Nobs : I like the feel of your bum

Biola : You like it even more soon

Nobs : How?

Biola: Walk me to the ladies

Nobs : Use the one upstairs ( There were few people upstairs then so I suggested that)

We got upstairs and instead of using the female toilet, Biola dragged me with her.

I wanted to stop her but my erection was controlling my mind and I didn’t even tried stopping it

She pulled down a toilet seat and pushed down with a kiss

I wanted more and kept pushing my tongue inside her mouth but she had other plans.

Biola : Nobs,what do you want?

Nobs : What and what can I have ?

Biola : A BJ or a good lay

Nobs: I want a bit of both but maybe a BJ because the other will make me sweat and I don’t anybody looking at some sweat patch on my shirt.

Biola pulled down my pants and lowered her tongue on me. For a moment all the hymns that we sang in secondary school came flashing.

I tried to stop her because I couldn’t take the pleasure anymore but she wouldn’t just stop.

She went on and on until I emptied the entire content of my semen bladder in her mouth.

That was when I realised that some people were inside the toilet so we had to wait for them to go out before leaving even though we didn’t check before going in.

We got back to the dancing floor and I continued like nothing happened.

Few minutes later,Biola got a call and asked her friend to dance with me while she goes to take the call

Nobs : Hey

Her : hey

Nobs : I’m Noble

Her : I know.happy birthday again,I’m Titi

Nobs : So where’s my birthday present

Titi : It’s with me

Nobs : Ok give me.

Titi grabbed my head and gave me a wet kiss.short but with a lot of message.

Nobs : Are you going together with Biola?

Titi : No,where’s your phone

Nobs : here

Few minutes later

Titi : I just added you on my BBM.Let me know when you are done.

Nobs : Are you trying to set me up?

Titi : No,everybody deserves loads of birthday sex

I was confused and didn’t know what to do but a part of me wanted a small peiece of her…….Fuck ——Thou shall not hit on your girl’s friends”


Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!


  1. pls enough with all the name dropping naw! dis week just has alot of unnecessary name drops in it. we get it, u r/like to b important. i used to enjoy ur memoirs. what is happening now?

  2. Errrmmm….does this Slim person exist for real?? Doesn’t she vex when u mention her unnecessarily? I mean,do u have to tell us every name Biola calls her even when it adds nothing to the write-up? Nice read as usual sha!!

  3. omg eww @ biola giving u head whilst sitted on a public toilet seat. Ebuka should go back to yankee to stay fresh..muna is really pretty

  4. @ the above posters, u lot are daft. did he beg you to read it?? Abeg don’t be stupid and if u don’t like it, go and take a bath on a transformer.

    Nobs, are we expecting anything on Wednesday? cuz i think that this deserves a part 2(we waited this long)….wetin u feel??

    1. If you calmed down and got off Noble’s sack, you’d realize that they have a point. Yes, we’re not supposed to preach to him which no one did, and maybe they’re readers who got used to something and got less than expected so they decided to comment. This was not funny and was just plain nasty, filled with TMI, and Biola gets more desperate/disgusting as the days go by.

  5. Chei Ebuka…Chukwu gozie gi, honestly. My whole work day has been brightened (#nogroupieness, he is one of my fav Naija celebs). Well God bless Noblechukwu too for posting his picture. Muna is a beautiful girl. The other ladies in the pictures were pretty too.

    Ok moving along, Em Noble, biko when did Biola become your woman. Don’t resign yourself to that because you lost out on Ada. Everyone gets a second chance and Biola is not your second chance. Happy Birthday in Arrears, my prayer for you is that you find some peace in your life this year and that you find what you are really looking for.

  6. @Lare who the fuck r u to tell people not to hv opinions abt things….if certain people feel this article is rubbish, who the fuck r u to imply that they sldnt hv an opinion???? u r the one needs to take a bath on the biggest transformer in the world.

    Honestly, I do not like noble(reasons best known to me) but i came to knw abt these writings on MI’s timeline and hv been following up with them…..until this article. After reading this i hv concluded that checking up memoirs is becoming a waste of mey precious time! when noble has his game back…lemmi knw. Now that is MY opinion.

  7. Noble Igwe,u’re the man!…I like your style.After Biola’s treat I hope u also accepted Titi’s too
    Are you gonna finish it up this week?I can’t wait for the rest…seems there’s gonna b a character in the memoir…

  8. @ ZEE and co, you wannna know who the fuck i AM? I am ur papa a.k.a daddy and i am not on Noble’s balls, its simple common sense that i was referring to atutupuyoyo…..anyways sha, noble, abeg ki ori e kpe, release a new one tomorrow, we’ve deserved it…

  9. Am I the only one who isn’t seeing muna’s picture? All the female pics I see are lami’s and waje. Anyway I like d suspense and yes slim does exist and am sure she doesn’t come here to read the memoirs anymore.

  10. @zee ur a correct person jor, I second u…@lanre ur very stupid 4 referring to me,u can suck nobs’ balls 4 all I care..w8d 4 3 long weeks, I guess am entitled to my opinion

  11. Pls 4get all d mouth noble is making, been there, done dt. He isn’t great @ all if u knw wt I mean *wink

  12. I read the memoirs just for fun and I think we are all entitled to our opinions, nobs didn’t force anyone to read his memoirs, so I’m amazed why anyone would stoop so low and call him names. Its Ok to criticize but insults- (totally unethical and childish)! Welldone nobs……

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