share on:

Quite recently my status has come up for discussion in some circles.  I have heard so many versions of my life – and love – it always leaves MY HEAD reeling.

In February 2007 I was blind-sided by an event, and at the time I did not know how it would affect my life.

When I first saw her she was chubby. Her eyes were a bit swollen like she had been crying. Though she had mottled fair skin, her pinnae were dark, giving an inkling as to her true colour. I was going to give her a once-over when she grabbed my finger. Her grip was so strong it made me do a double take. It was then that I looked into those twin pools of watery brown eyes flecked with gold, and I knew I was lost forever. I just wanted to care for, protect and provide for her.

I had just returned from a UK trip. I was tired, hungry and very irritable. Two passengers had been particularly difficult, and of the fourteen crew members on board, I had the singular pleasure of dealing with them. By the time we arrived Lagos, I understood why the carrying of firearms in Nigeria has not been legalised – I was fit to commit murder and gladly go to jail for it!

I got home through traffic as thick as my irritation only to find I had been locked out! I was still fuming when, who would return but the reason I was locked out – my kid sister!  Well not such a kid anymore, but you can not mentally sweep a 7-year age difference under the carpet.

I scolded her for keeping me waiting outside. Okay, so I vented more than I probably should have, but she begged for it.  She was obviously feeling grown because what she did was give me lip. No apology, just a really rubbish attitude. I have never struck a lady before, but that evening I was sorely tempted. I chased her round the house with the sole intention of locking her head in the crook of my arm and grinding my knuckles on her head, ostensibly to ‘re-arrange’ her brain.

When I caught up with her, my hand went around her mid section to hold her steady, but I pulled it back like I had touched fire. I stood there in shock at what I had just discovered. I could not wait for my Ma to return.


She had barely settled down when I said “Do you know your child is with child?” She looked at me like she was seeing me for the first time, then asked. “How do you know?” “I by mistake touch her belle.” I answered in the family lingua. “I had asked her about it,” she said, “But she talk say na over feeding.” To which I said “Wetin I touch no be from food o, unless she swallow the mortar.”

My Ma called her then, and after her feeble attempts at denying, she finally caved in. With tears running down her face she told how she had met this Corper, and how he had wanted her to have an abortion when she found out she was pregnant for him. Problem was, he could not come up with the cash for the procedure.

A searing, white hot rage coursed through me, but my Ma’s maturity saved me from myself that night. I would not let myself go to see him for fear of what I might do. So I had an aunt go with her to see him and find out if he wanted to be a part of his child’s life. I learnt dude denied the pregnancy outright, and in doing so shut the door on any claim to the child in the future – unless the child ends up an engineer and is very good at building bridges.

I was away in South Africa when she was born so the first time I saw her, she was two days old.

That was three years ago. In that time we have grown together, taught each other and loved each other. In that period, girls have come and girls have gone, and through it all she has been my anchor. This hyper active, talk-a-lot, brown eyed, brown skinned, soon-to-be-4 -year old of mine.

Quite recently my status has come up for discussion in some circles. For people who feel they must know, fact is: I am already taken.



"Franque is in aviation, which by the way is not his job, just a lifestyle. If he ever kept a diary it would read like his articles will. Unfortunately he doesn't. Scratch that. He didn't.AIRtiquette is a walk in his shoes. Since regular isn't in his vocabulary, brace yourself for a bit of airwalking!" Follow @franque_521 on twitter.


  1. This is very sweet…I felt tears pricking the back of my eyes by the time i was done. I have a cousin who was born under similar circumstances and i make bold to say that she’s the most well-adjusted person I know. I’m not going to throw barbs @ “skin-divers” here but in my opinion, (barring peculiar cases like rape…) pregnancy is one of the easily avoidable predicaments ever! So if you are old enough and consider yourself adventurous enough to go “skinny-dipping”, you had better be ready to carry the result to term! #soitotallywentoffatatangentthere!
    well done Franque, another excellent one!

  2. You ALWAYS give me the chills…..gosh… in LOVE with your writing skills, prob in Love wit u too, still thinking…

  3. Ready, are you there? it’s Friday and iHave o! #justSayin.
    @ Coz: iDon’t have a box of tissue….iDon’t have a box of tissue…iDon’t have a box of tissue.
    @ Stranger: iSee u r a stranger within. #NuffSed.
    @ Mizcee: Thanx. going off on a tangent is allowed o. It’s ur – all of u – page. #wetinIsabi?
    @ inLoveWith..: when u finish thinkin about it, sha know that my Lil Miz has me round her tiny finger – she’s gettin competition soon.
    @ everyone else: Thank you for reading and commenting (or not). That’s the only thing that has kept me going since.

  4. I know a man like you, she’s 5 this year and though i haven’t met her, i hear she’s amazing. Hope you find a girl who will love your girl like you do. She might not have been what ya’ll wanted, but she is definitely what you need. And mark my words, you can and will be taken again!

  5. My heart melts… As usually fantastic… It brings gud memories.. Got a lil girl who hs got me wrapped around her fingers, dare I say.. I aint taken!

  6. Flank-que flank-que nwannem nwoke….nna bros this your write-up, o di egwu!
    I wants to cries some more, this your message is velly velly torching…I know you has been takes, but I want one pieces of you still, I means just small you
    *cheesy grin*

  7. iCan’t believe iust typed that, choi!
    @ ShegotS: it does bring back memories. Did isay she turned 4 today? and as usual, iam outta town – ihave called her tho. she enjoyed her *party in school today.
    @Delaice: Thank you.
    @ Village Maiden: what more can iSay? u got me wLitin ryk u. U want a piece of me? Be careful what u wish for o…

  8. Flanque, I wants a pieces of you truly..makachukwu I do. A velly velly small pieces of your inspiration and this inane ability u have of stringing words- with the right emotions trailing them.
    Abeg wrap that small pieces I has asked for and post here biko o!
    Will be too happy to receive it…kill that line..will be moon walking with my soon-to-arrive pieces of bros flanque.

    1. lol if you love dis girl as much as you claim den you will keep her 1000 miles away from nobs. nicely written again

  9. This had me awwinng so bad @ d end. Brought tears 2 my eyes. Bn readin al ur pieces buh nevr commntd. Ds piece is sooo good I had 2. Ur sch a writr! Nd I hve 2 vewy adowable nieces dt hve me takn. I kno d feeling. ☺

  10. @ Village Maiden, Worah, ShadeN n Lohi: iCan’t say enough how ur kind words humble me…
    @ Nobs: did u see the part where she just turned 4? lol! One of these days maybe.
    @ MizSwits: iGet you. My love to ur Nieces.
    @ Worah: Maybe a private view on ‘tweerah’?

    1. lol @ ”@ Nobs: did u see the part where she just turned 4?”….Nobs dont swing like that
      BTW…nice write up…regards to her

  11. damn…I need to up my game, i am now always the last to comment. Anyway I second Lohi…she said it all. I will however add that you are truly the best kind of person.

  12. Another breathtaking piece from you….ur writings kip me hooked to 360nobs really.I love d way u take ur readers on a journey wit you…on paper nd from what I have read u truly seem like d real deal..
    Children r a gift from God nd am sure ud make d best uncle ever…
    Lmao at ur pidgin speaking just seemed outta place with the U I think I know from ur writings

  13. @ Miz N: iKnow it’s not the coolest to say “those who hav gone before me have said it all”, but WE both kno u r cooler than dat – We go back to the early days. And thanx for ur kind words.

  14. @ Worah: if iHavn’t discovered vous on twirrah* it’ll b down 2 u. U hav my handle.
    @ Chiny: again, such nice/kind words humble me. Thank u for takin the journey with me – everytym. As for my pidgin… iGrew up on it, so that sometyms iSurpise myself that iCan even speak English *grin*

  15. @ Worah: iSee u on tweerah 😀
    @ Lil Pimp: who would have thought this from those days in Idah?
    @ BcGeorge n iKnow: given a different set of circumstances, Nobs myt’v been her Uncle. Plus there’s no ‘R’ in Nobs 😀
    @ Jenniral: that’s what family does.

  16. I can so relate to this article. I had tears in my eyes the first time I read this and now a sob is caught in my throat. WellDone Franque

  17. Once again you manage to capture my entire imagination.
    A standing ovation Franque, …with tearing streaming down.

  18. I cried d first time I read this n today I still tears in my eyes. This is one of d reasons y Family is one of d most important things to me.

  19. this is soooooo goood, i rily do not have a lot of words lik u do, to dt end,i always end up like a broken record again and again. Darn but u r good. “except he is very good at building bridges” omo i bow jo

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.