My name is Baby Dee; the last daughter of my folks and the little spoilt brat (some what). Let me skip the birth control pills and all and move on to the ‘single ladies’ gist. On a hot Sunday morning of June 2010; I broke up with my bf of 2yrs for what I thought were the right reasons (eyes rolling) and I felt like I won’t see the sun shine again or so I thought. After crying and weeping my eyes and heart out (note: I broke up with the dude oh!!!), I decided; I was going to make the most of my situation and not feel too sorry for myself. How was I going to achieve that??? By hitting the clubs, attending all events wherever and whatever they are for, going for parties and visiting all those other essential hangout spots where single girls are suppose to go to meet their dream man.
Oh!!! Did I mention I am a banker??? I work as a Media Specialist in one of Nigeria’s top ten banks. With all the talk going around that bankers rarely find the men of their dreams ’cause of early schedules, crazy deadlines and all round madness, I resolved to prove peeps wrong and make sure I don’t fall victim of “she is a banker”. So, the hunt for the dude of my dreams, my potential started!!!
Let’s start with Uwa, the single not too bad looking insurance exec with a thought only for himself. I had known Uwa, for donkey years but never really took him seriously. With him, he had a great head on his shoulders, had a lot of brilliant ideas of what and how he wanted to be, when he wanted to settle down and how he wanted to start his own business but when push came to shove, he was always unreliable. He never really liked to spend money; my friend Kaykay called him scrooge. Always hoping that I picked the tab (which I did constantly) if we went out and he was to pick the tab, we spent his money drinking Gordon sparks and Star beer as opposed to the lovely cocktail mixes I enjoy from places like Churasco and Reeds. He didn’t like movies or the little entertainment events that Lagos had to offer, he would rather go to some quiet joint, have his drink, cigarette and just gist. He could manage a concert here and there and a party (provided it was cheap or free) but he was just a plain old scrooge to me.
But like they say, man proposes and God disposes. When the time came and I was in dire need of a good knacking, he was the only one available. YEEEPA!!!! Let me give you the insight into that first time with UWA. It was a funny day, believe me. We went out for a drink; as usual I had paid for the drinks and he said we should go back to his place. At his place, we started getting all wild, naughty and ended up on the shag pile. We started with the good old missionary style and here I was thinking my brains were going to explode with the way the dude was just pounding me like yam, he wanted us to turn the heat up, so we decided to change the position let him teach me a thing or two. I willingly agreed oh!!! (How I no go gree, I had been longing for some for sometime) only for me to turn over, we had just done 30seconds when Uwa went all limpbiscuit on me. WTF!!!!
I went hysterical, trying to get him back up again, sucking, throbbing and all, but nothing happened!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I thought in my head. Mschewwwww (Longest hiss ever).
Ended up going home pretty disappointed, angry and deadly quiet, while he was trying to explain what had gone wrong; I wasn’t interested.
I squashed him immediately and put a crow bar on anything me and Uwa, as I move on in search of my next POTENTial.