MEMOIRS OF A SLU..SHHKID: WK32

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Christmas mean different things to different people but for some of us in Lagos, it’s a period when we party at night and sleep during the day.

For some ladies, it’s the period they ditch their native boyfriend for a cool IJGB while some ladies are faced with the reality of “ Erm, that my babe that I told you that was in London is, erm, …. back in erm,  town for Christmas” but then whichever way you look at it, the I Just Got Back peeps are a major part of Christmas in Lagos.

I know some people reading this would be wondering, “ What is Noble’s problem with the IJGB peeps” and the answer is “Nothing”.

I have nothing against them or their ways but I won’t lie to you, in 2009 December, they controlled the gates at “Volar” (Without Vuitton) and Penthouse.  As in back then all you needed say to get in was “ Yo! Men, I Just got back”.

My 2010 Christmas holiday was a bit of fun, a bit of work and little or no rest in between but all that was spoilt on the 26th of December. I was still sleeping when the call came through…

Sunday, December 26th 2010

10.00am

Nobs: Ada kedu?

Ada:  Buzor, I’m sorry for not taking your calls but then it was the right thing to do.

Nobs: Its okay. I was mad but at some point, I had to forget all about it. How’s your mum?

Ada: She’s fine.

Nobs: Okay. I’m sorry for all the things that I may have done wrong to you and I want you to know that I did not do any of those with the intention of hurting you.

Ada: It’s okay.

Nobs: I can’t say I was really good to you but then I can improve.

Ada: Buzor, chelu kam’ gwa gi?

Nobs: Nne, I’m sorry but I’m willing to improve and all I’m asking for is just another chance.

Ada: Buzor!!!

Nobs:  I know that I’ve not been good but please give me another chance.

Ada: Buzor!!  Odigo late.

Nobs: Isi?

Ada: It won’t be possible any longer. You succeeded in chasing me into the arms of another man.

Nobs: So you are really getting married?

Ada: I’m so sorry, Uzo.

Nobs: Wow! I guess this is how it all ends

Ada: Buzor, I gave you all I had and I was willing to sacrifice more but you pushed me away.

Nobs: Can we start again?

Ada: I’m so sorry but it’s too late

Nobs: Why?

Ada: Today is my introduction to Okey.

Nobs: Well, I guess I have to wish you the very best.

Ada: Buzor, it’s your fault and I gave you the whole of me but then you were blinded by Lagos girls and didn’t see me.  I was also willing to make you the first man in my life but you were unwilling to accept it.

Nobs: I won’t put the blame on you cos you really tried but at that time I wasn’t sure of what I wanted.

Ada: E hateri mu ugbu’a?

Nobs: Mba

Ada: But I’ll be seeing you na Umuomaku. You know my new house is closer to yours now.

Nobs: I know but I wouldn’t want any issues from your husband and I would like to keep our friendship in the past.

Ada: Mana ina agbawa’m Obi ugbu’a.

Nobs: Ada, let’s just pretend there was no “us”.  It will hurt for a while but it will pay us more at the end of the day.

Ada: I called you this morning hoping that you would make me happy but I guess you don’t even wish me happy.

Nobs: Maka gini zi?  I want you to be happy and I wish you the very best today.

Ada: Le zia nu Buzor. I know you are not happy for me, na mu n’ anu Okey.

Nobs: I have nothing against him

Ada: Ezi Okwu

Nobs: All the best, Ada.  No one will ever love you like me.

Ada: Anu gom

Nobs: I have to go back to sleep now.

Ada: I’ll call you after the ceremony.

Nobs: You really don’t have to

Ada: You are my friend and I’ll call you

Nobs: Ok

Ada: Mana ina abata Uno

Nobs: Maybe New Year eve. I’m not sure yet

Ada: I’ll come and see you if you come back.

Nobs: Ada, your husband may not like it at all

Ada: Emesie kam kpo gi.

When I got off the phone with her I was totally confused and annoyed. Yes, I did hurt her and maybe I wasn’t really serious with the relationship but the Okey angle was totally bad.

How can Okey come from nowhere and get involved in Ada. I was not disappointed in me plus I was worried that my father would be very angry with me for letting someone like Okey win a woman I have been interested in.

Okey’s family and mine have been in competition over a long period of time. As youngsters we were told, Okey’s dad was interested in my mum but my father beat him to it, so the competition started. He made sure he acquired a land beside my father’s and built a house identical to ours. Even there was a competition from making sure his children attended the same school as ours and wore almost the same clothes. He was out to prove to my mum that he was man enough and can match my father but the Ada angle is a new twist and I was worried that my father would be disappointed.

So, I called Mum…

Mum: Chibuzor, kedu?

Nobs: Odinma

Mum: Chiso kwanu?

Nobs: Odinma

Mum: Kedi ebe ino?

Nobs: I’m at home.

Mum: Ok

Nobs: Did Ada them invite you to anything?

Mum: Mba. Are they doing anything?

Nobs: Yes, Ada is getting married to Okey, and today is the introduction.

Mum: Hmmm.  I heard that they were getting married but I didn’t know anything about the introduction. Ewo! Ada, Ezigbo nwa.

Nobs: What do I do?

Mum: To gini?

Nobs: Why okey?

Mum: Chibuzor, biko rapu mu, aka. You had your chance but you messed it up.

Nobs: I didn’t mess it up?

Mum: Ichena ibu umuazi?

Nobs: O maka?

Mum: You didn’t take her serious. Ogwara  mu but I decided not to get involved before you’ll say we forced you to marry her.

Nobs: So, I’ll just leave her to marry Okey?

Mum: My son is this about Okey or you really want to marry her?

(At that point, I became confused, like I didn’t know if I wanted to marry her or I just wanted to prove something to Okey.)

Nobs: I don’t even know now

Mum: Chibuzor, mgbe iche chara, call me

Nobs: Ok, ma

Mum: Are you still coming for New Year?

Nobs: I’m not yet sure. It depends

Mum: On what?

Nobs: I don’t even know again.

Mum: Just let us know in good time so that we can clean your room.

Nobs: Ok, ma.

Mum: Nkwanu

Nobs: Bye mum

I sat down on the bed and nothing was making sense to me any longer. I didn’t know if I wanted Ada so bad to break up her introduction or if I should let it fly…

5.00pm

Bubba came through to pull me for LPM and Underground.

LPM was fun and they even had a fashion show downstairs and the sales upstairs at GET Arena.

I was pretending to be having Fun but I couldn’t get the imagined picture of Ada and Okey kissing out of my mind.

Stopped Over at The Underground to represent 360nobs.com.  It was a wonderful event.

11.00pm

I was having a total BS evening until I walked into De Marquee and walked to the balcony.

Just by the door was D and Slim. Slim was looking glamorous.  I walked up to her and as I was about to peck her I noticed the dude. He was standing and was looking at me.

I said hi to him but he didn’t reply.

I whispered to Slim

Nobs: Hey you

Slim: My baby

Nobs: What’s up?

Slim: Me I dey ooo

Nobs: What’s up for the night?

Slim: We are going home. We are tired.

Nobs: Sorry boo.

Slim: I can see you are going for ABE

Nobs: Yup

Slim: Without me?

Nobs: We can go together

Slim: You didn’t invite me jor

Nobs: Come na

Slim: Nobs, lemmee

I was still trying to convince Slim to go with me when the message came through on the phone

Biola: I see you

And I looked up; there she was by the bar in a short dress. So I replied with a BBM

Nobs: What’s up?

Biola: Nothing much, I’m staying at yours tonight. I hope there’s nobody there.

I looked at Slim and then Biola….I became confused. I didn’t know what to do but you can’t guess what I did…

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

34 comments

  1. I hope this will be the last memoir with Ada in it.Drop the gist already,she makes you look weak,you had her,you lost her,move on

  2. Nobs *smh* abegi free Ada. U’re just suffering something akin to buyer’s remorse. This is “also ran” syndrome. Content urself with the dilemma of Slim vs Biola. Wish Ada well, delete her number and keep it moving.

  3. Once again Nobs…. u lost it…. Ada could have made u a very HAppy Man… Nways U lose some but u’ll win something great!!! trust mii

    Enjoy 2011

  4. You didn’t have a relationship with Ada. What are you talking bout? Was that a relationship? Lol.

    Please stop dulling & clear your head. Meanwhile this half gist is a waste of my internet connection fee.

  5. Nobs deep down within u know u want Ada back cuz she’s getting married to Okey…dats Jealousy and dat shouldn’t come cuz u actually chased her away.
    And as for Slim and Biola….don’t tell me dat u took both of them home!

  6. Move on, Nobs. Ada wasn meant to be yours. If she was, you would have snagged her earlier. Your mum is right, u feel more terrible at losing her to Okey and not cos u love(d) her. If you’re really serious about settling down though, make a choice between Slim and Biola already.

  7. …am finally
    getting the hang of this gist…NOBLE IGWE…get a grip man!!!!i swear i rem u sayin u dnt rem being in a relationship wiv ADA…wats with this eeerie nostalgic longing?????seriously…get a grip man!!!!ju wonderin…..now that ada is gettin married dnt you think she will get hold of a bb soon….and of ur blatant memoir???????

  8. Nobs,Forget about being in a relationship with Ada.Spare her the family Competition with Okey’s family..u had ur chance and u blew it,u’re gonna have to live with it.

    The Slim and Biola ish,dnt tell me u slept with both gals…

  9. story for Shakespear!!just leave Ada the fuck alone dude! She has found a ‘real man’, she deserves to be happy.. move the fuck oN!!Rme*

  10. Awwww Nobs,u must be hurtin’ badly.U’v lost her man,move on and right ur wrong…If Ada really exists,I wonder what she’s feeling like presently.

  11. To all the above”commentators”, leave NOBS THE FUCK alone!!! The poor guy is obviously going thru a rough patch and the least we could do is to support him!!!
    NOBS, i think you should go home with Biola. You might wanna ask why??? well, as the great Siki would say, IT IS SIMPLY CUZ SHE WILL PANSH THE SADNESS OUTTA YOUR LIFE!!!
    And by the way, i know that slim reads this and she might feel happy that you chose her over Biola, but then you aint getting any action from her so, ki ori e ma kpe!!.
    And i still feel like Ada might want to give you the parting “gift” of her PUMPUM, but flee from that vampiric punanny, it could lead to your downfall(and the Okey family will hate ur ass for a long long time.

  12. Don’t know what you guys think oh but watch the movie, Brown Sugar, thats how you and Slim are. So my advice… Free Ada, and run your package with Slim. You can’t have what you are not very proud of!

  13. Sup Nobs.nice writeup,me first time here n me loving it..I think u should compile aLl this stuff inside one book make we buy..in btw(go home with slim n biola 3some baby).

  14. Amazingly creative, stunning,insane and lively blog. Stumbled into it. have spent quite some time on it. Got me LOLling. I’ve been on the blogosphere for about 4 yrs now with readers from about 27 countries but I must admit Nobs is freak….ing good…no bad! And to think that I once lived on same street with da lush kid, attended same high school & even college and never for once collected an autograph,lol. Guys watch out for the kid next block. He may not look like it now but just might be the next Star or even Moon. Gud work nobs. I guess you should have in ur strategic plan a book like Memoirs of a slu…sh kid (MASK or MOASK) vol 1 and maybe a show..MOASK episode 1. Wish you all a great year. Keep Hope Alive!

  15. My Darlings Nobs.
    It is true that we all advised that you make a choice.
    The problem is you did make a choice,deciding not to be with Ada was the choice..
    Anyway, who knows, twenty eleven- it’s all brand new, it brings with it brand new Keles.. And I trust you know what to do with them, no matter their number
    For what its worth I really Liked Ada sha.

  16. if you dont get to do something about Slim asap,you are just gonna loose her too.ofcourse Biola’s cunt would always b available.
    And no you never Ada,what you are feeling is just natural especialy when 1 thinks he could have made a difference in such a situation.

  17. Pretty interesting and impressive stuff, it’s my first time here and I can already tell you’re not into Ada for some reason I can’t possibly explain. I haven’t really gotten a hang on who Slim and Biola are and what they’re to you. But from all indications you want it all! Make up your mind fast…time’s a no waiter!

  18. Dang 🙁 Ada is gone. The phone call was wrong, and selfish. None of us know what you are feeling but I bet its hard (whether its feelings of jealousy or real feelings of “men I lost a good one). Keep having your fun I guess but next time the opportunity rolls around, make sure you keep your eyes on the price and not the Biola opportunities. You have had your fill of those types. There is something about a wholesome woman by your side, no amount of loose kele can fill that. I wish you all the best and I hope you find a great woman to call your own one day, because from the bunch you have right now…none of them are it.

  19. I dnt fnk u love Ada ..its just d fact dat guys hate loosn….I’m happy she’s gettn married n it aint to u..As for u n Biola..one day ur Manhood will shock u..I bet its Tired sef

  20. Haha. I feel like I stalked you that day
    I was at LPM, Underground and Marquee. Just felt weird, cause I feel like I kow you but you have no idea who I am.
    Keep up with the updates

  21. these memoirs are starting to read like junior secondary school “literature”- predictable and poorly written. even the dialogue is reminiscent of young, IMMATURE village love.

  22. Just like someone earlier mentioned, you need to subtitle the Igbo speaking to carry everyone along.
    besides, y does it feel like biola has some control over you? She’s always dictating to you from the blues you are taking her home. Dont tell me u r a weak man?

  23. More so, these stories seem made up. there just is TMI. Like really, who talks abt their stuff to the world like this? And im wondering if Cha ur sis aint fed up with ur randiness too? *raised eyebrow*

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