MEMOIRS OF A SLU…SHHKID: WEEK31

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So let’s say Ada telling me that she was getting married got me thinking about my life or what could be described as “my life”. You may not agree with me but I had the opinion that spending time in the arms of different beautiful women in my bachelor days would certainly make me a better husband.

You know the feeling of “I have seen it all and gotten the T-shirt” and as such there would be nothing that will make me cheat on my wife.

Ada’s call brought me back to reality and the actual situations of my existence.

A lot of you were of the opinion that Ada was the woman meant for me due to her upbringing and the fact that she’s still a V card holder makes her a better woman while some thought that I’m too exposed and over used for a good girl like Ada.

I may not totally agree with either of the above but then believe me; my mind told me that I’ve lost someone important but didn’t go further to claim that she is the mother of unborn kids.

Talking about unborn kids, am I the only person who is scared of walking beside the septic tank? I have the feeling that the amount of condoms flushed down the toilet may have come together to form a child or even children and if they sense you passing they would start calling out “Daddy, why am I here alone in the cold and dirt”.

So, I called back…

Ada: Buzor

Nobs: Kedu?

Ada: Odinma

Nobs: Kedu maka mama unu?

Ada: Fan cha din ma.

Nobs: So, you said you are getting married?

Ada: Yes

Nobs: And that was the best way of telling me?

Ada: Buzor, what do you want?

Nobs: Nothing more because it seems you’ve already moved on from US.

Ada: Was there ever ‘an US’? There was just ‘me’ loving you and ‘a you’ not willing to make a commitment.

Nobs: I think you got something wrong .  I was never afraid of making a commitment. I was going through a lot of things at that time and really wanted to be sure that you really wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.

Ada: Chibuzor, you were not ready and you caused me a lot of pain. I defended your actions in the presence of my family and was ready to disobey my parents just to be with you. I took a lot of risk travelling by road to come and see you but I guess I was not just good enough for you to make a commitment.

Nobs: But…

Ada: I’m still talking.  I travelled against my mother’s wish just to be with you and even walked out on a potential husband all because of you.

Nobs: Ada, I totally understand and appreciate all that you did for me.  All I want to know is, are you really getting married or did you say that to know my reaction?

Ada: What do you mean by that? Buzor, I talk to you later.

Nobs: Hello, Hello Ada

I tried calling her back she kept cutting off the call and at some point the phone was no longer available.

I know that I’ve really wronged Ada but I was not enjoying the role change. She hung up on me?  Who would have expected?  Truthfully speaking, I was not totally good to her and I didn’t really give her the attention she required but it was not that I didn’t want to but I had loads of distractions in Lagos coupled with the fact that she’s a virgin or should I say “ Was a virgin?’ because this sort of boldness can only come out after you’ve KNOWN man.

I was confused and didn’t know what to do and who to talk to.

So, I called Maddy to ask for her room number so I could go over for breakfast but just like the devil works, Maddy was down with flu and didn’t want to be disturbed. I thought about going back to Lagos cos no one really said much about the pool party that was meant to take place later that Saturday.

I was heart broken and needed a hug, so I called LYB but she wasn’t picking. Wow! What a Saturday, Ada wouldn’t talk to me and now LYB was probably too BUSY to take calls.

Few hours later I was by the poolside with some boys trying to impress the ladies and some ladies eager to be impressed.

Have you noticed that some people lack personality without a further introduction of who their fathers are?

Like

A: Meet Chima

B: Ok

A: Erm, Chima’s dad was one of the famers on the old 50naira note

B: Ohh ok seen. How are you Chima?

I tried so much to take my mind off Ada and her sudden boldness but that didn’t work. I brought out my camera and started snapping randomly.

I had taken loads of her picture before I realised that I didn’t see her the night before and I even loved her more when I realised that she was rocking her natural hair.

I don’t have anything against weaves but I totally enjoy seeing ladies rock their natural hair.

We got talking and she introduced herself as T. I needed a distraction and T was a perfect candidate.  I was tempted to tell her what I was going through but I was scared she would think I was looking for a rebound sex even though I’m a strong believer that the best way to get over someone is to get under another sharply.

At some point I whispered to her

Nobs: What ‘s up for later tonight?

Tonia: Nothing much. Maybe sleep a lil before heading out to Play.

Nobs: Oh seen. I’ve got two bottles of Rose in my room. Why don’t you come over later so that we can swing from the bottles and blame the consequences on them?

Tonia: I’ll sleep first and maybe come afterwards

Nobs: Oh cool

I went back to the room, tried Ada’s number several times but she wouldn’t just take my call. I thought about hiding my number but the thought that she may hang up if she realised I was the one stopped me from making a bigger fool of myself.

9.20pm

A knock on the door woke me up and I quickly rushed to my box to “spray’” some perfume.  I took a look around the room and realised that the seat in the room was empty, so I quickly moved some clothes on it. Why? When you leave a seat empty without clothes or a box on it, it creates the problem of even moving the chic from the seat to the bed but with the bed as the only available place for her to sit, you are only faced with the issue of taking her bra off. Yes, Thank me later. 😉

So I opened the door and standing there was Emmanuel the guy that served me breakfast and he had this to say

“ Oga, I don come before but you no dey. I brought you your change from the breakfast in the morning.”

I stood there and didn’t have so much to say but a simple “keep the change”.

I closed the door and put a call to T.

Nobs: Babes, the drinks are getting warm

T: Sorry I just ordered dinner and did they inform you that we are going for the Calabar festival?

Nobs: Erm, no one did. So are you saying that we can’t have our drink anymore?

T: We have to push until after Play, Nobs

Nobs: Okay cool. You know what, I’ll order my dinner and come right over to your room.

T: No problem.

I hated the change in plans but I remained hopeful that maybe my favourite cocktail recipe would prove fruitful yet again.

11.00pm

At Play with MI and his crew. I went back to picture taking but made sure T was getting her cocktail fix on a regular but what I didn’t know was that she was getting more than enough. She started with the cocktail and somehow switched over to champpers .

On getting back to the hotel, T was speaking in tongues and begged me to let her sleep a bit in her room before going over to mine for the drink.

I’m not 12 so I knew there was no way Tonia was going to sleep at 3am and then come over to my room for another ROUND of drinks.

I walked to my room tired from the booze and partying, neglected by the woman I love and to a bed big enough for 3.

Sunday, December 5th 2010

Dear Diary

9.00am

I woke up with a bad headache and no missed calls from either T or Ada. I checked my ticket again to confirm that my flight was for 11am. I needed to be in Lagos and maybe I’ll get to see Slim so I could gist her about Calabar and all that happened.

I had fun in Calabar…I’ll definitely see Udauk again. I’m not so sure about Joy but then I gave her my number but T would be carried over to Lagos.

I was on vacation for a bit and I stayed away from writing and stuff that has got to do with writing but then things happened in-between.

Let me update you…

I’ve tried to contact Ada without success and my mum who started the ‘Ada thing’ wouldn’t speak to me on issues concerning Ada. I don’t think I messed it up intentionally but what nobody is telling me is whom she’s getting married to.

I’ll hate myself if she’s getting married to that Iyke boy.

Imagine, Iyke taking her with him to the UK and then in few years Ada would be looking so hawt. If she was getting married to someone from another village I may not get to see her but with IYKE, hell yes! I’ll sooo see her.

Slim took some time off school and I was able to see her once or twice during the holiday. I still feel I should take my friendship with Slim to the next level but I’m just afraid that I’ve told her so much about Keles that she wouldn’t be able to trust me.

I have a feeling that Tiffany used me and I feel bad about that. I know she‘ll feel somehow reading it here but I tried using style to convey same message to her via a BBM chat. I thought we had something going on but she only appeared and disappeared but while she was in my life, we had fun and I won’t mind seeing her again.

Like you know, my relationship with Biola is undefined and we’ve been at it for sometime now even though I don’t know so much about her but recently she proved to me that she was more than just a sex toy.

On the 9th of December, Biola came to the house with food stuff and prepared one bad ass Ofe Nsala with Poundo.  At first I didn’t want to eat but when my cousin finished eating and I didn’t notice any changes in him such as looking at Biola’s ass or checking out her boobs, I decided to eat mine.

Biola, thank you for a wonderful meal.

I think my change of role at work affected my relationship with Shirls, as started keeping late hours at work together with the unplanned trips outside Lagos. I feel we are growing apart but I’ve made up my mind to work on it in the New Year.

Friday, December 17th 2010

While I was still on holiday, work came up in Enugu and I had to leave.

My flight was for 3pm to Owerri but we didn’t leave until about 3.30pm and I then had to travel by road to Enugu.

I got to Enugu about 7.30pm and checked into my room. A friend invited over for dinner with her friends at Sheraton Open.

Sheraton Open is a buffet affair mama put style and after eating our  (6 of us) total bill was N2070.00.

Enugu is a cheap town and I love it.  I don’t know where 6 people will eat in Lagos and pay N2070. To start with the waiters expect you to tip them nothing less that N500.00 and the people who park cars collect a minimum of N200.00.

My first night in Enugu was a fun and boys were popping Andre champpers at 380degree.

It was my first night so I only wanted to observe and go back to the hotel room but when she walked past me, I immediately remembered that she once told me that her dad has been transferred to Enugu.

Chika: Hey Nobs, What are you doing in my town?

Nobs: I came for work

Chika: For how long?

Nobs: Two nights. I’m back to Lagos on Sunday

Chika: Where are you staying?

Nobs: Alone at Nondon

Chika: Ashewo did I ask you if you were staying with someone?

Nobs: Who are here with?

Chika: A friend

Nobs: Like a boyfie?

Chika: No,just a friend

Nobs: Ex him jor let’s go to my hotel.

Chika: Nobs, it’s somehow

Nobs: How?

Chika: He brought my friends and I  here and it will be unfair to leave him. I promise to see you later in the day tomorrow.What’s your room number

Nobs: 305

Chika: I have to go back. See you tomorrow.

Chika has been on my “To do “ list since the night I met her at SWE Bar in 2008.

Saturday, December 18th 2010

I woke up feeling funky and so I decided to visit my School with Adaobi( a” just a friend”).

Unec was still Unec but I didn’t meet anybody that in school at the same time as me but I visited the love garden.


And on my way out I decided to take picture of the school gate .

From Unec,I went straight to Emily restaurant and decided to bless myself with a plate of Akpu and Ora Soup.

I went straight from Emily to my hotel room to rest in preparation of the party in the evening.

12:20am

I was on the dance floor when Chika walked in. She had on an LBD showing off her full curve. I tried to act gentle with her but when we started dancing and she was grinding me hard, I decided to make her feel the effect of her grinds but instead of stopping, she took my right hand and placed it on her ass. I worked her ass and within minutes she whispered.

Chika: I have held my sex back for two years now.

Nobs: Why so serious?

Chika: Promise me you’ll treat this body, right

Nobs: On my honour.

We danced more and at some point we started kissing right there on the dance floor. I usually and will never do it in Lagos but I felt I was in Enugu and maybe that’s allowed cus we were not the only people kissing.

We left 380degree for my hotel room and did not say much in the cab cos we both knew what was going to happen back at the hotel.

We got in, had our bath and went full 69

We went hard on 69 before trying the others but the interesting bit was when she stopped and asked me

“Nobs, will you marry me?”

I almost lost my erection. Who does that?

We went hard until I ***** in her ******. I love teamwedontspill.

Chika: This is the first time I’m cheating on my boyfriend but you know the worse part?

Nobs: No

Chika: I don’t regret it.

Nobs: Then you need to keep me on the reg.

Chika: I would love to. Let’s see how it goes.

I let her sleep on my chest and the next morning I served her breakfast in the shower with a hot DOGy.

Enugu was a total blast.

We are in a New Year and I promise to update regularly and OTIF.

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

20 comments

  1. i wanted to leave d 1st comment **pout** anyways **stickingouttongue** :p cos u sooo deserve all ada is doin n so much more. But it looks like ur coping mechanism is wrkn for you. So i guess thats guhd. Nice read!!

  2. Damn Nobs, I was wincing and cringing throughout the whole thing, but I read all of it anyways…yeah, I’m masochistic like that.
    BTW…I totally love how Ada’s treating you; doesn’t happen often, hunh? ‘Specially from a village girl 😀 It doesn’t seem to be affecting you too bad obviously.
    P.S. The 1000 smiles project is looking great although you are far behind and I hope your resolution lasts till at least June ’cause we all know you’ll break it. Happy New Year!

  3. sorry but you are gross….does it ever occur to you that you might actually have some deep seated issues that needs to be treated instead of using sex as a cover up?…I don’t know if you realize your lifestyle shows you are a sex addict…How old are you? I’m pretty sure you are no longer a teenager or even in your early twenties..get your life together man…and the girls sleeping with you are just as disgusting…ewwwwwwww

  4. As much as I wish to believe this piece,I still think,most of it are Nobs’ imagination..Well,its always a good read.Lest I forget,how many girls ‘ll you …. before marriage?ahn ahn..

  5. If anyof you believe all these really happened then,
    santa claus is real!
    Micheal jackson is alive!
    Tupac is from ondo state …

    Nobs sure got a creative imagination.
    Big up to ya.

  6. Lmao @ wildchild……of cos he’s just a creative child…good 4 him & me I get stuff 2 read wen am supabored…
    Thanks nobs 4 dat 1…:-)

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