IF THESE PEOPLE REPRESENTED IN SPORTS…

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Ever wondered what your favourite stars would like if they were in the sporting world. Check out a few of my suggestions (just my playful thoughts!!!)

•    M.I Abaga: This guy will definitely be wearing a number 10 shirt. He just reminds me of Jay Jay Okocha and Ronaldinho (please do the comparison). The way he plays with words you will know this nicca could dribble nonsense out of opposing players (kelechukwu watch your back). I am pretty sure the guy sabi tan soccer jor.

•    Don Jazzy: There is something about this don and his walking stick. He is the original don dada. This dude will definitely be the owner of a club; controlling the affairs of the club and everything. Don baba J abeg please buy Man Utd now and make me director of football affairs. I know you can afford it ojare.

•    Sound Sultan: I heard Lanre loves basketball. NO WONDA!!! Can’t you guys notice how much he looks like Rajon Rondo of the Boston Celtics? If I ever had a basketball team, he would definitely be my starting point guard.

•    Ikechukwu: I don’t know about you, but for me Ikechukwu seems to be the most athletic musician in Naija. Have you seen his six-pack? (Don’t dull, check out the Ikechukwu video). He will definitely win Naija’s first Olympic gold medal in Judo. The guy can last 10mins in the ring with Mike Tyson, I swear.

•    Peter and Paul: If Paul could just cut the Rasta hair, the brothers will definitely look like the Bryan Brothers who have made the doubles event in lawn tennis popular. With their superb dance steps, the brothers’ would be a lovely sight to watch. I am sure they will display signs and wonders on the court. The ladies will agree with me that it won’t be bad seeing the twins in tight shorts.

•    Shank: No contest. He will definitely be an American football player. The guy get muscles abeg. Super BAD GUYS. I won’t want my enemies getting into a fist fight with this guy. His mo-hawk and tattoos can rival any player in the NFL. End of story.

•    Terry G: The free madness crooner will definitely be a MASCOT with no costumes!! Is it the energy, entertaining skills or the swagger? Lol

•    Banky W: There is something about Banky W and his hats. Every time I see him in those hats, all I see is a world class golfer. Not Tiger Woods sha (jor oh). To be a good golfer, you have to be cool, calm and collected and that is want Banky represents.

•    The Beat FM ladies: These ladies have redefined radio in Naija. I am not a radio person like that, but I really think these girls are super cool. Back to sports; I see Toolz (my favourite) being a world record holder in the shot put and javelin throw event. Miss Molu definitely strikes me as a swimmer that would give the Australians a run for their money and Oreka strikes me as a long distance runner.

•    Segun Demuren: I have never met him before but I will dub him the Jose Mourinho aka “the special one” of Naija’s music industry. His tweets are very inspiring and on point. He strikes me as a great leader. It’s not easy managing Naija’s GALATICOS (i.e. Banky, Wiz and Skales). Tactician toh bad. He could lead an American football team to the Super bowl, a hockey team to the Stanley Cup and a basketball team to the NBA finals.

•    Alibaba: My mentor will definitely be a polo player. He has over 1 million polo shirts; I am pretty sure about that. I am still surprised at that fact that he ain’t the face of the brand yet. I am not too sure of his horse-riding skills sha.

•    Tunde and Wunmi Obe: One of the most relevant couples in the entertainment industry. Their dance routines in their videos remind me of Paired Figure Skating. This will be magical: Just imagine Uncle Tunde throwing Aunty Wunmi in the air and catching her just in time for them to do 20 spin moves. All on the rink. Okay, I am on a long thing now.

•    Mocheddah: I have lost count on all the previous Olympics I have watched. Mocheddah reminds me of the great Chinese gymnasts that performed wonders in the Gymnastics events over the years. She is smallish and very flexible; I am pretty sure she will make a good gymnast.

A few stars like Darey, Charley Boy and Baba Dee will do well in the MotoGP circuit.

There is just something about Nobs. Something tells me he would be the best sports agent ever. Something like Tom Cruise in Jerry Maguire.

Are there any other stars you can think of?

Dami Dupri

Dami Dupri

I eat, sleep and drink sports. You can catch me dissecting all kinds of sports at a sports bar or pub near you. Did I mention I am a part owner of Manchester United F.C.(I wish !!!)

11 comments

  1. Sasha: sasha reminds me of a boxer whenever I see her on TV. I guess she would have been Mohamed Ali’s daughter and would have won loads of medals.

  2. This is funny especially on Tunde and Wunmi Obe as figure skaters. Ikechukwu as a judo fighter is on point and Banky as golfer….and Yes, totally agree with SoundSultan as the BBall hero. And terry G as a mascot – that’s spot on. Good Job Dami.

  3. “Just imagine Uncle Tunde throwing Aunty Wunmi in the air and catching her just in time for them to do 20 spin moves.”

    You gotta be kidding right, except she has lost weight.

    “M.I Abaga: This guy will definitely be wearing a
    number 10 shirt”

    Hope M.I is not reading this, if dem play high ball how e wan take head am?

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