“One wife for one man” by Frank Aig-Imokhuede was my favourite poem in Secondary school. It treated an issue which at the time I thought was cut and dried – Polygamy. Though the father before my father married more than one wife, my father married, and stayed married to one woman. My mother. If there are other children out there who have not come forth over 25years after his demise, I doubt they will be crawling out of the woodwork anytime soon. My point? My father stayed faithful till death did them part. Thus setting a stellar example for me about monogamy, and fidelity, and happiness. At least so it would seem.
Here I am, all grown up and in love with three women, five months away from tying the knot and saying ‘I do’.
I met the first in school. I was in HNDII and she just got into NDI. I have heard people refer to it as young love, though I always felt it was not-so-young love. We met when I was a working student with nothing but the clothes in my Ghana Must Go and the talent at my fingertips. And she accepted me. There were times when she even supported me. She told me she was a virgin and I was not too eager or curious to find out how true it was. Face it, I had no reason to doubt her. She accepted all my eccentricities – and they were legion.
Then I graduated and left her in school. This was before GSM and the internet. We relied on NIPOST for communication. She got her Christmas cards at Easter and her Birthday cards at Christmas. Letters took months and months to deliver, and so after the initial flurry, they dwindled to a trickle, then stopped altogether.
The next time I saw her was four years later, and while she had not changed much, I had. I had been places, I had seen sights, I had done things. She seemed like a stranger to me. I invited her to visit, but was gone most of the time. I managed to sleep at home six times in the month she was there, and in that time she cooked, cleaned and pampered me. So much so my brother who I shared digs with was afraid of leaving his room lest he encountered her. His reason? He did not believe anyone could be that good.
The second I met at my brother’s on one of my visits East. She was in school at the time and it would seem she fell head over heels at first sight. She was beautiful, she was passionate, she stimulated me mentally. We were too alike, yet different enough to complement each other. We were really good friends. With her, I did not glow; I burned very bright! I could not have asked for more – and did not. In one word, shecompletedme!
Then she left me. She said I made her cry, and for a long time I did not understand how. I was so burned, I waited over a year before seeing anybody again. Then at some random event we met again and it seemed nothing had changed between us. Time might as well had stood still for we picked up right where we left off – sort of. It was then that she explained to me how my flirtatious nature versus her insecure nature doomed us. Our very own natures became our recipe for disaster! I respect her honesty, but truth is, I still yearn for her. Still love her.
The third I met at a friend’s office. We started slowly, poorly. Like a new born deer we tottered; like a fawn we stumbled and fell more than a few times before we finally took flight. She is breathtakingly beautiful, mature, graceful. She is fairly domesticated, willing to try some new things. A lady through and through. And just like ‘Lady’ a la Fela, she be Master.
I was going through my old stuff the other day when I saw my JSS2 English reader, and thumbing through the pages I came accross “One wife for one man” which got me thinking: Do I really have to marry one wife? Why can’t I marry all three? Or none at all? For some people it is an easy choice, but for me there is a devil and an angel’s voice. I have waited a long time to deal with this. No idea what I have been waiting for, but I know I don’t want to wait anymore.