MEMOIRS OF A SLU…shhKID: WK28

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I know you don’t like it when I break my stories or cut it short, me neither.  The thing is in some cases I do that just because I would like to ask for permission from the people involved if I could write about them in my diary and sometimes I write late and wouldn’t like to put up lazy work.  In the meantime never forget to read the rules just incase you are about to judge.  😉

And I’d like to use this opportunity to sincerely apologise for all the time I’ve served you “half memoirs” and from now on would continuously make an effort to finish it up in good time (theoretically).

Friday, November 12 2010 (Continued from last week).

Dear Diary,

Sat down in her car

Biola: Cup cake…

Nobs: Bee, do we now drink and drive?

Biola: I’m sorry boo but your girl is not high.

Nobs: You know what… you always make me feel like I’m your ‘mele’ call but I’m not complaining.

Biola: Nobs, which one is a ‘mele call’?

Nobs: Something like a booty call but in this case, I’m the guy you call whenever you want a shag or should I say, one of the guys?

Biola: Nobs, you just do want to start me on the ‘one of the guys’ thing. So where do I start?  Tiny abi Slim or the other one you were kissing after she finished blowing her boyfriend, what ‘s IT called again? Yes, Tiffany.

Nobs: You know I hate it when you insult my friends.

Biola: So what’s the P?

Nobs: Just got in from Abuja and stopped over here to pick some household stuffs.

Biola: Where’s your car?

Nobs: Down there.

Biola: Oh cool. What’s the plan?

Nobs: You drive me to my car and we’ll head over to mine to either drop your’s or mine.

Biola: Let’s drop yours and you’ll drive mine ‘cos I plan to drive something else.

Nobs: I don’t know what you plan to drive hun but I gats to eat.

Biola dropped me by car and drove behind me to my house. I thought I was tired from the trip until I caught a glimpse of Biola’s white panties.  Gezoz! You know its really difficult for a not-so-big-boned lady to properly hide cover her panties wearing a short jean skirt. Biola was not wearing a short jean skirt, she had a micro mini jean skirt and when I walked over to her car, she opened her legs and left it open for a while.

Nobs: Oya, madam, biko move over to the other side

Biola: Nobs, push me roughly

Nobs: Bee, I need to get food first and then I can push you against the wall of Jericho.

Biola: So where?

Nobs: Natives

Biola: Okay

On getting to Natives, the male waiter had to come back to our table 6 times pretending to have forgotten a bit of our order only so he could spend some time looking down Biola’s tank top.

I think jealously turns me on because while I was getting mad at the guy for wasting my time, Biola was busy flirting with him and getting me all turned on in the process.

As if that wasn’t enough, Biola took my left hand and placed it on her thighs. She was playing naughty and my hungry body was responding.

Our food came and I went hard on the pounded yam and Ofe Nsala while Biola had 4 shots of vodka straight.

Without forming Samson or anything close, for a bit I was scared of what Biola was going to do to me considering that I was just coming back from a long trip and had not gulped even a shot of Alomo bitters.

On getting to the car, Biola read out the rules for the drive home.

Biola: Nobs, undo your fly while driving…

Nobs: I would not want to hit your car.

Biola: You’ll just hand over your car key.

Nobs: I’ve warned you, sha.

I was a bit tired but not tired enough to give up on a BJ.

Biola didn’t start anything until we hit the Lekki expressway when she dug her hands into my boxers and pulled IT out.

Biola: Nobs, you have to drive close to higher vehicles and make it driver’s side but avoid the ones with kids inside.

Nobs: Why hun?

Biola: I want to get some kicks off that and they can wish they are you.

Nobs: I hope I don’t close my eyes in the process.

Biola: In that case, you’d have to explain to Angel Gabriel.

Nobs: You are…( I couldn’t complete my sentence cos Biola dropped her head on my thighs)

For some minutes, I couldn’t maintain my focus but I made an effort to maintain a reasonable speed but that was until she introduced melted chocolate that she left in the car. I was so scared that I was going to hit the car or get us killed.

We got to the tollgate and she wouldn’t stop and the face of the chick that lifted the bar was the exact replica of Nkiru Anu BBM smiley for surprised but a black version.

I was still in her mouth when we got to the first roundabout and I couldn’t maintain my focus any longer, so I gave UP in her mouth.

I need not bore you with the details of the entire night but one thing is for sure, the only way one gets to sleep around Biola is if she falls asleep first. We slept at 2:53am.

Saturday, November 13 2010

Dear Diary

10.00am

Normally, I would have loved to sleep more but how was I supposed to remain asleep with Biola’s head on my crotch so early in the day. What a way to say good morning. I tried to stop her and even tried to tell her that nothing would cum out of IT as my body was yet to replenish“liquid” considering the that she finished a week’s supply in one night.

We had our bath together and Biola left minutes later leaving me bruised, drained and completely tired.

12noon

E came through with her tequila and I got more wasted.

10.00pm

I slept the entire day and only woke up at night to attend Terry Da Rapman’s album launch at Bar 10.

Sunday, November 14 2010

Dear Diary

12noon

I was chilling in my room resting from yesterday’s escapades when my sister came in…

Chaa: Nobs!!!

Nobs: How much do you want?

Chaa: For what?

Nobs: So, you can let me sleep!

Chaa: What time did you get home last night?

Nobs: 1ish or something, why?

Chaa: Popsie called

Nobs: Oh seen.

Chaa: He asked me your plans.

Nobs: For Christmas? Are we travelling?

Chaa: Not that, jor

Nobs: Chaa, I need to sleep more na

Chaa: He asked about your plans for marriage.

Nobs: And you said?

Chaa: That I don’t know…

Nobs: I’ll tell everybody when I’m ready.

Chaa: When would that be?

Nobs: Soon. Very soon

Chaa: 4th Mainland bridge, soon?

Nobs: Let me sleep first.

When my sister left I thought about it and for a moment and had to agree with Ada’s mum. I don’t believe that I am the best candidate for her daughter.  I mean my own sister even doubts that I have plans of getting married soon.

I thought about it for a while putting into considerations the comments from previous memoirs. I decided to call Ada and end the entire relationship friendship.

Ada: Buzor, kedu?

Nobs: Odinma. How’s your mother?

Ada: She’s fine

Nobs: I hope you are a lot better.

Ada: Whatever I was going through, this call just made me feel better. I have never been this happy in a while and I’ve been buying food stuff for my trip.  I need to make sure that my future husband feeds well.

Nobs: You are going to visit Okey?

Ada: Acho lam okwu ooo. It’s you that will marry Okey.

Nobs: We need to talk, Nne.

Ada: Save all the talk until I come oooooo

Nobs: Erm, what day are you coming again?

Ada: Tomorrow afternoon

Nobs: But maybe it’s better we talk about it now or you know what, lets leave it until you come.

I’m sorry peeps there was no way I was going to spoil her afternoon and the joy my call gave her.  I totally agree with you that I should end it but maybe a face to face would be better.

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

30 comments

    1. Nobs, na this kind you suppose avoid (no judgment). We are not ready to come for Omugwo yet and you are not Baby Daddy material.

  1. Abeg me I’m getting tired of ur memoirs alwedi….it has lost its spice!!!!I’m tired alwedi sef…..its no more playful,its now too serious!!!!abeg abeg abeg

      1. someone is already using this idntity get urs and start being real. lol

        @nobs pls end with ada wen she comes oh and dont chicken out.

  2. Honesty is always the best policy. However, making her travel all the way to be broken up with seems a tad unfair considering she’s obviously coming by road etc… We all pray to make the right decisions come what may and I genuinely hope ur making the right one! Looking forward to next week 😉

  3. O boy that ur thing needs to be cut off. U no dey fit say no to any girl ba!!!!? Just remember Aids is real. U need a life partner. Sme1 u can share all this wit. Stop d game boy and settle down wit sme1 u love. As 4 ada, let her be if u know u dont love her. Quit d game and plan toward having ur family.

  4. we all know u cannot end it wiv ada when she comes or ‘cums’ you are tender hearted. just continue livin da vida loca, u’l surely be entangled unexpectedly in d web of love one day. love will not be ur decision, it will just catch up wiv u. *wink*

  5. Ah ah see people o. If he “spices” it up, everyone will say he is lying. So he should be ho-ing around for you alls enjoyment. Biko, Noble…only give the info you have don’t be pressed into adding more to satisfy anyone’s appetite for amebo. If una want more spice go and do your own and report.
    Anyway, ooooo Ada mu. Nobs, all I ask is that you do not sleep with her. Unless, you are planning to tell us you have changed your mind about marrying her. Chei, see as the girl don’t they call you her future husband. I said it, your actions were leading her on. Anyway goodluck to you my friend. You are truly a nice guy with good intentions.

  6. Men this guy you lie too much, you feel you’re all that, nigga chill men, its a different thing if you’re fine now we will understand and you have money,dead guy…. i just read your dead blog cause i wanted to see for myself but you’re all lies… fine something better to write about men, na your type babes dey die for, more like househelp type

  7. and also, all the dead and dumb people that read your blog i am really sure they don’t go anywhere, or you’re the one even commenting on your own shit of LIESSSSSSSSSS

  8. and also, all the dead and dumb people that read your blog i am really sure they don’t go anywhere, or you’re the one even commenting on your own shit of LIESSSSSSSSSS

  9. SHOLA
    How far though??….so much hatred
    Has Nobs done you wrong in the past….pls no such comments wanted here… transfer your aggression elsewhere.
    Carry your invalid and senseless comments away…it’s called 10minutes of weekly entertainment

  10. I totally agree with shola.. its a different thing if you’re fine now we will understand .. I cant believe people read this and believe.. okay maybe they are as dumb.. not hatred but d truth.. how can one guy be writing all dis and yall believe.. daft much… @concerned am sure u live in a fantasy world.. :LIES…LIES and More LIes..

  11. Na wah o see serious beef o shola is one of the babes nobs is bonin ur chick? Lmao abeg nobs keep writting but sha pls b carefull ok

  12. Bn readin this blog since the first week.true story or fiction, really doesnt matter, I find it interesting!haters, go play somewhere else!big ups nobs.

  13. Oi! dude,kindly post em thingz regularly.its getting annoying…nice blog so far,its already Wednesday n you still didn’t bang tho…

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