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I hate the fact that I keep apologising on my delivery as regards Memoirs but I’ve taken up quite a lot and I recently added My 1000 smiles of 2010 to my to do list and NO, nobody on that list is on MY TO DO LIST. (Nose grows longer) but seriously it has been a good experience collecting smiles from different Nigerians all over the world.

If you’ve been following the Memoirs of a SLU…shh, you will agree with me, that you’ve somehow become part of my life and in most cases I always ask for your opinion on most of the issues affecting my life.

I’m heart broken and I’ve been trying to avoid saying it here but I think it may be seen as a betrayal if I only write about just the good things in my life but before I go on with the heart break issue, I’ll try and summarise the events of the weekends that I have not been able to complete so we can all move to the current week/weekends.


I tried to stop Ada from coming but she was bent on having a one on one with me and my Christian upbringing would not let me be rude to her while trying to drive home my point.


I was still sleeping when my phone rang and I didn’t need anybody to tell me that it was Ada.

Ada: Buzor, Anyi abata go Lagos

Nobs: Thank God for journey mercy.

Ada: Are you here at Jibowu park?

Nobs: No, but Obinna is there to pick you.

Ada: You didn’t even miss me.  You couldn’t even come to get me yourself?

Nobs: Nkem, It’s a public holiday and there’s no better way to celebrate it than to sleep.

Ada: Okay, let me call Obinna now.

Nobs: See you soon.

It was obvious that Ada was happy to be in Lagos.  At that moment, I got thinking if I really should have allowed her travel this far just to tell her that we can’t be together anymore even though I can’t even remember the day we started being together .

I’ve seen so many movies where people go to the mirror to practice their speech, so I used my bathroom mirror to practice my own game face but a certain pimple distracted me and I ended up getting none.

The knock on the room door got my heart skipping

Nobs: Nne

Ada: Nkem, kedu?

Nobs: I’m good ooo

Ada: Hmm, where are you making onwe gi agadi?

Nobs: Oh my beards? You don’t like it

Ada: It makes you look different.

Nobs: It’s something I do when I’m tired of the normal

Ada: Okay…

Nobs: I like your hair.

Ada: Thank you oooooo. I just made it yesterday at Eke market.

Ada had hardly settled in when she went to the kitchen and returned with a plate of neatly sliced pawpaw.

Nobs: Where did you get that?

Ada: I bought them for you. You need fruit and you need to rest more.

Nobs: Daalu.

Ada: So, how have you been and how are your Lagos sisis?

Nobs: I’m fine oooo but I know nothing about any Lagos sisis.

Ada: Asi gi!

Nobs: Okay ooooo

Chaa and Chidinma came into the room to chat with her. We all gisted until about 9pm when they excused themselves to go to bed.

Ada: Nobs, lets go and have our bath…

Nobs: I’m feeling a lil bit cold and I don’t think I want to pour water on my body.

Ada: Okay come and stay while I have my bath.

(Truthfully, I wanted to stay back in the room but I felt it would have looked somehow. On the other hand I didn’t want to give her a hint that I was about put an end to us.)

Everything about me was calm until; Ada finished undressing and took off her bra, I almost changed my mind about not wanting to let water touch my body.

Her boobs are everything that Ini’s breasts aren’t (Not Ini from EDO state ). Unlike Ini’s breasts that are pointing downward and saying “ See what men have done to me”. Hers were pointing upwards and screaming “What can men do to me?” but I guess that is the reason why the smaller ones are referred to as ‘breasts’ while the bigger ones are referred to as ‘boobs’ even though it would be very difficult to classify Mercy J’s pair, now those are in a class of their own.

Back to the business, God held me back from rushing her and going all skeen.  So, I fought with the spirit of the flesh.

Ada: Kedu ife ina ene?

Nobs: I’m just looking at you but my mind is not even here.

Ada: You are a liar jor

Nobs: Okay, I was admiring your body.

Ada: Like you’ve not seen it before?

Nobs: That day in Umuomaku, it was dark in the room and the other time my sister called you.

Ada: Well, you have me all to yourself tonight and for the rest of your life.

Nobs: Seen

Ada: You don’t sound excited?

Nobs: My head hurts…

Ada: I’ll come and put you to bed soon

After we came out of the bathroom and in bed, Ada started touching me all over.

Ada: Chai, Buzor, this headache is not affecting the thing in your boxers…

Nobs: Well, its not trained to decline the sense of touch and you would think it should know better.


Ada: Nobs, will it be painful?

Nobs: What, Nne?

Ada: Getting disvirgined?

Nobs: I’ve never been anybody’s first but I heard it could be painful.

Ada: Tru to…

Nobs: God?

Ada: How come?

Nobs: Because of questions like these…

Ada: Buzor, are you angry?

Nobs: Nne, at all

Ada: But why are you backing me?

Nobs: Because my head is aching and you just came from a far place and I wouldn’t want to put you through the stress of sex especially as it would be your first time.

Ada: Okay, what about in the morning?

Nobs: Sure and by then my head would have stopped aching.

Ada slept off holding me. Believe me, it was one of the best moments of my life.

The following morning a peck on the cheek from Ada woke me up.

Nobs: Hey

Ada: Your food is here…

Nobs: What?

Ada: Tea

I stood up, went to the bathroom to brush my mouth and came back to the breakfast.

I was still eating when I noticed that Ada was wearing a SLU…shh t-shirt and one of my boxers. Trust me, a woman in any of my clothing items is a major turn on.

We spent the day chilling and just being lazy and in the evening we went to the galleria to get popcorn.

That same night, I used another excuse to stop myself from sleeping with Ada and I hated myself for hurting her feelings cos she asked my cousin to drop her off at the park the following morning while I was still sleeping.

I woke up to a text message from her and it read:

“I wanted you to make me a woman but you used excuses to avoid making love to me. I know it’s because of my family background and that is also the reason you don’t want to indicate your interest about getting married to me. I’ll stay on my own”.

The above text message broke my heart and I’ve not called her since then.

I don’t know if it’s really over between us but I‘ll always love Ada and the good times we shared.

Friday, Novemeber 26th 2010

Dear Diary

I was in training and didn’t do a lot during the day.


I got to SWE and my boys were already having fun without me. NUVO popping and things. The DJ was pushing out some good tunes.

I started drinking while waiting for the DJ to drop MI’s “Number 1” and when he didn’t, I had to go over to his side to harass him. He didn’t have so I had to go to my car to get him one. Yes, I’m a distributor of MI’s MI2.

At about 1.45am everything I thought I knew about clubbing changed. Someone walked into the club with his Ipad. HOW?

Now he did not only bring it to the club because he didn’t find any space for it in his car but he was dancing with it and when I thought that I had seen it all, he sat down and opened it.

Gezoz! Dude spent about 20 minutes on his ipad while people were all dancing around him. I know you may not believe so I got you a picture to support my claim.

Dear All,

Please leave your ipads out of the club, if you must bring in one, make sure it’s a tampon.

From SWE to Pico it was fun all the way. I had so much fun that I lost my voice.

Saturday, November 27th 2010

Dear Diary

My Saturday was strictly a wedding day.  I had 2weddings to attend in opposite directions.

I’ve been thinking that it may be simple to broadcast your wedding via skype and as such there would be no reason for people to travel across the 3rd Mainland bridge.


I stopped over at the Soul Lounge to support THE UNDERGROUND and was happy to have witnessed the other side of the winner.

From the Underground, I moved over to the Hennessy Artistry and then home at 4am.

Sunday, November 28th 2010

Dear Diary


I woke at 4pm and headed out to LPM to support Team360nobs.
Have you noticed that the shoppers at LPM are very different from the people who come strictly for picture opps?

I love Lagos, forget it, we don’t try to win anybody,we just join…..

I miss Ada and maybe I should share a picture we took together but that is if you want to see it, of course…

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!


  1. Hmm nt fair wot u did 2 ada bt 4 d bst. Ur a coward tho. U cldnt evn tell her. Nyway I can’t c ny ipad in d pishure o.reply her txty or sumn tell her u dnt wna b wif her. Everybody dservs tht

  2. Ha! That’s my girl! I see Ada brought her game on. From all I’ve read, Ada epitomizes a real woman.. Smart, calculating and homely.. I think you should exorcise your inner demons if you really want to settle down, cos she’s all and more you’ll ever want in a woman… She showed u her body, ka I mara kwa na o zuru ka e mee in that department, at least! Hehehe

  3. The Nobs i know would have done her in a heartbeat, thank GOd you no longer think with your dick and the ipad guy is hella lame that would be the epic fail of the year

  4. I fink u did right not to disvirgin Ada…but I also think u should have told her ur mind too.
    Nobs u can believe me….just reply her text and tell her via text too…
    On d issue of bringin an Ipad to a club….its very stupid of anyone to do that.
    Tell Ada asap.

  5. Chai, Buzor, this headache is not affecting the thing in your boxers

    Hahahaahahahahaha. That killed me.

    As for d iPad guy, well y’all had ur bottles to show off & he had his iPad to show off.

  6. she sha deserves a reply o! Its not good to leave her hanging like that. Let her at least hear frm d horse’s (in this case, pig’s) mouth

  7. I think u should go for ada. She is all u actually need in a wooman though I think she has gottn ur message bt pls be true to yourself and go for what u want.

  8. Yay! I m happy u dint touch Ada .. I think u shld go 4 her seems she really likes u … N ur weekend was not it jare! Me I didn’t c any Ipad o!

  9. Didn’t think you had it in you champ. I am actually proud of you, although you are being a wuss by continuously avoiding this matter. See what happens when you try to make a girl “get the hint”, you have really hurt her feelings. Worse than you would if you said Ada, Nkem…we can’t be together because (insert excuse or reason here). Please do not respond to the text, call her and tell her the truth. She deserves that much…telling her via text is just looooow.
    Don’t apologize for the contents of your diary, or the frequence at which you posy. Afterall, it is YOUR diary, and your spare time…anyone that complains can start their own biko. Besides, slowing down “activity” = less chances of some kele turning up knocked up or you getting burned.

  10. The worst thing u can ever do is to disV a chic u don’t wanna be with. Now dat is a sure bone in ur neck especially a matured girl. Am not bothered about her being the right one for u cos u sure aint d right one for her so simply pick ur fone give her a call, apologise for not “doing it” and just about the time she wants to suggest she come over for a rematch u tell her dis can’t work. I trust u can handle this without being monitored.
    Cheers brov

  11. The worst thing u can ever do is to disV a chic u don’t wanna be with. Now dat is a sure bone in ur neck especially a matured girl. Am not bothered about her being the right one for u cos u sure aint d right one for her so simply pick ur fone give her a call, apologise for not “doing it” and just about the time she wants to suggest she come over for a rematch u tell her dis can’t work. I trust u can handle this without being monitored.
    Cheers brov

    PS: send pixshure na haba

  12. lwkud…… Nobs, tell us you weren’t scared of her “v” status then we’ll stop laughing overhere…… waitin oooooo

  13. Wow!!!Can’t believe I waited dis long to read this boring episode!! Well I guess dats y u’r human..every day can’t be a good day.I think Ada is a Great girl..definetely wife material..but ur problem is dat u’r not ready for commitment(God knows I know wat dat feels like) I think u either make up your mind to marry her or u free her for the next guy!!!…Remember Dude…a baddo can’t marry a female baddo…who’l train d kids…Ada is d bomb..kip her or free her on time..its dat simple!!!!

  14. ‘the headache is not affecting the thing in your boxers’ that’s hilarious..hehehehhe
    anyway thank God Ada is gone…or else your sex life will be very boring…village girls na only missionary possition they do!

  15. Why do I have this feeling that you did it? i don’t trust you nobs…….not even for a sec where a naked woman is concerned! You no get that kind control..ta!
    How come peeps aint seeing the iPad? Abi una no know iPad sef? #justsayin!

  16. ‘I don’t know if it’s really over between us but I‘ll always love Ada and the good times we shared’ Really? I would love to c ada’s pic.

  17. “Brush my mouth”?! Ur jst ã local man! Who SAYS that? How do Ʊ brush ur MOUTH nt teeth? Anyhoo, thank goodness Ʊ heeded 2 advice nd ddnt touch her BUT i don’t get why yu cudnt just talk to her already? Wasn’t that the reason yu let her cme to lagos in the 1st place? Yu definately need to grow ã pair, Nobs! Let her go once and for all, yu don’t deserve her go nd marry Biola, yu two fit! Nd let’s see wat the Ada even looks like sef..

  18. Nobs i cant really figure out your problem cos this minute you are here and the next minute you are there. What do u actually want from life or from Ada? The ball is in your court figure it out.

  19. hehehehehehe… dis post cracked me up big time.. and d ipad dude? *dead* and this ->”I don’t know if it’s really over between us but I‘ll always love Ada and the good times we shared” is sooooo hypocritical… good times indeed!!!! hehehehe.. i love reading ur posts jor..

  20. Hey,
    I almost shed a tear when I read Ada’s text. common son! I don’t know if this is fiction or not but if this is your life, you lost Gold (ADA).

    This is my first and probably the last comment on your memoirs.

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