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So, I figured a lot people read the memoirs now without reading the rules and I thought it would be wise to share it today to refresh our memories.

Most people don’t really click on the link included in the body of the weekly memoirs.

So here it goes….

Erm, this is supposed to serve as an introduction to my personal lifestyle on and for that reason, I’ll try to keep it as simple as possible.

Before we continue with the introduction, I’d like you to note certain things referred to as rules as long as Memoirs of a SLU…shhkid is concerned.

1.    This is MY online diary and as a result I don’t really give a fuck care about your opinion.

2.    I’ll be posting every Monday and may not have time to edit properly but because you would like to “Gbagun” I’ll    provide you with a big ass bell for use.

3.    This is not the news or the Anglican Church, so don’t come here to preach to me.

4. Names of some of the people involved in the memoirs may be changed to save anything they may have as dignity.

5.    If I say something about you that you don’t like...Start your own blog …It’s free.

6.    Don’t walk up to me in public and say “you wrote about me”. I promise you a head butt and my head is not small.

7.    Majority of my post would be on keles, Midnight wakas, party, BBM and everything else I decide to write about.

8.    Sometimes, It may appear like I’m talking about you but until I mention your name, STFU and Terry G me!

9.    We’ll make more rules as we go on.


Somehow, we’ve not be able to make new rules but I’ll be glad if you’ve got a suggestion on new rules or an amendment to the existing ones.

Here’s the thing, the last weekend wasn’t exactly eventful because I had work to do and I had to be on ground the whole of Thursday and Friday setting up the event venue.

Saturday, November 6th 2010

Dear Diary


For a few weeks now, I’ve been looking for a day when all I’ll do is –stay back in bed and do absolutely nothing. I decided to do that on Saturday.

I woke up very hungry and was craving for Nsala soup. I updated my BB status about wanting Nsala Soup and that was when the messages started pouring in “Get Ada to do it” , “Marry Ada and you won’t have such issues” , “Ada is the Way forward”.

I tried not to think about the suggestions but another part of me kept pushing me to call Ada. Eventually, I gave in and called her.

Ada: Buzor, Kedu ?

Nobs: Hey,  Nne, Kedu?

Ada: Odinma. You didn’t call me after I left and you never returned my calls.

Nobs: I’ve been busy with work

Ada: Even at night kwa?

Nobs: Ada, I ‘ve been busy and I’m still thinking about what we discussed.

Ada: Kedu maka Cha, Obinna and Chidinma?

Nobs: They are fine oooo

Ada: How are your parents?

Nobs: They are fine oooo

Ada: Okay.  Have you eaten today?

Nobs: No, achoro’m ofe nsala

Ada: Ewo, Cha is not home? (To readers Cha is my cousin)

Nobs: She said I should leave her alone.

Ada: Ndo nna

Nobs: Kedu maka Mama unu?

Ada: She’s fine.

Nobs: Okay

Ada: I’m sorry

Nobs: Sorry for what?

Ada: Did you call me because someone told you to?

Nobs: Told me what?

Ada: Do you know Okey Okekpe, Nwa basili?

Nobs: Yes, is he not the one that is based in London?

Ada: Yes, he came back.

Nobs: I heard but why are we discussing him?

Ada: They are in my house.

Nobs: Good for you.

Ada: Buzor, is not like that

Nobs: Is not like what?

Ada: I have not said anything yet

Nobs: Ada, if you want to talk to me, talk and stop playing around

Ada: He’s at my house with his father and he said he wants to marry me.  I don’t know what to say.  Buzor, please are you really interested in marrying me?

Nobs: Ada, if I hadn’t called you would you be telling me this?  You are clearly interested in him, so go ahead.

Ada: Buzor, please don’t do this to me?

Nobs: Do what?  You have your life all sorted out and you are pretending to care and all that.  He’s in your house and I had to call to find out. You claim to love but then a man and his family are there to ask for your hand in marriage.  I really don’t know why I’m discussing this ‘cos you really owe me nothing.

Ada: (While crying ) Buzor stop!

Nobs: Stop what?  Stop saying the truth?  You teased me with your virginity and then if I hadn’t called maybe I would have found out that you got married to Okechukwu through my mum.  You don’t owe me any explanation and I’ll get over this as well.

Ada: Buzor, you are hurting me.  You are really hurting me and you need to stop saying all these.

Nobs: Ada I need to go…

Ada: Buzor, please tell me what to do. I love you but i’m scared and my family are of the opinion that you are not going to get married to me. Please tell me your mind.

Nobs: Ada, your family seems to know what they want for you.  He stays overseas, so follow your heart and obey your family. Remember  to invite me to your wedding.

Ada: Buzor, I love you and I can never love anyone like this.

Nobs: Ada, you’ve made up your mind, just follow it.

Ada: Chibuzor, please don’t say that.

Nobs: Ada, call me after your introduction.

Ada: Why are you doing this to me?

Nobs: Ada, I have to go.

Ada: Buzor, you are trying to make me hurt myself, right?

Nobs: Don’t do anything silly.  I’m not worth it

Ada: Please let me come and see you

Nobs: Ada, ask your husband before you come o.

Ada: Buzor why? Gini kam mere?

Nobs: Ada, call me later. (hangs up call)

She called back  several times but I didn’t pick.

I guess this is it for me. I had my chance and I let it slip.

I couldn’t sleep.  I was confused on what to do? Call her and promise her marriage or just let her marry him?  I asked myself that question all through the day.


My phone constantly buzzed for the rest of the day but then a text came in at 8.03pm….

“Chibuzor,  please call me.  It’s urgent. Mama Ada”

* Let’s finish this on Wednesday*

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!


  1. Y r u upset? Its nt like u wre interested or made any promises to her…bt now dt it seems dy r cmng frm overseas to seek her she’s all of a sudden ur property u let slip? Men! Smh

  2. Noble! Biko leave ada alone, this is simply u being a dog in a manger! U don’t want her, let her marry her obodoyinbo guy in peace!
    By d way, wats with the half gist?

  3. wtf. i wait patiently every sunday night in anticipation of nobsday and today u cut the story short, E be like say u don wan dey play hanky panky ooh. we go just come 360nobs one day and u’ll ask us to suscribe to be able to read memoirs

  4. and nobs please don’t i repeat don’t make the mistake of thinking that because someone is a virgin, that person is the best wife material around. u’ve not spent more than a couple of weeks with her and u don’t really know much about her. so don’t let ur dick make decisions for u. stop thinking about her virginity and focus on her personality or the lack of it there off

  5. mschew… free the babe n let her go find happiness in okey. it’s not like you want her anyways, so why are u scared of letting her go?

  6. Dearest Mr Nobs,We’ve been waiting for u to realise u didn’t want to marry Ada, I’m lik “finally” just hope Mama Ada didn’t call 2 say d girl drank rat poison! Hehehehe

  7. LOL….you got SERVED…now, she has probably done smt stupid, or told the guy she isnt marring him, all cuz of you…but c`mon,i`ve checked 360nobs since yst-nyt continuously all cuz i wanted to read memoirs, only to get half gist??…BE FAIR JOH

  8. Dear Nobs

    an advice for you…..for the love of man kind, you shouldnt have acted interested or hurt…because you are genuinely not interested.

    the likes of Ada are local and not trust worthy. in the sense that , you guyz are not dateing and she expects marriage just like this 21st century. Jezz her parents are looking for a scape goat to take them from rags to riches, and the sad part is their daughter is the commodity. last time the father called, now mother. from your memoir, i cant remember you promising her nada .

    the problem you may land yourself in, is the call you just made and the way you had the conversation. pray, she did not turn down the UK dude, her parents will demand her bride price from you instantly.

  9. I pray she drinkz rat poison nd dies..dumbbroad..wich kind of half gist is dis now??,suspense ma left ass..still wait 4 wednesday tho..♥ ya work..

  10. Nobs,
    U r n ds ada r not compartible at all.
    You only see her as a woman dat cooks and cleans!
    U nid a gal dat will fit ur life style dat n can cook n clean too
    Forget her n move on
    Look very well dr r gals dat can be on d same level wit u!!

  11. nobsssssssssss ve said it before and will say it again. if u re not interested in ada tell her and let her move on. deres no need holding on to her. pls tell her as gently as posible dat u dont love her.

  12. One dwn a few to go, since u can’t make up ur mind FATE will help u….buh really I’m wondering y nobody has ever gotten pregnant for u, u sure ur okay? ​​​​​​​​​=))º°˚˚˚°ºнaĦaнaº°˚˚˚°º‎​=)). Kk maybe ur just lucky. Anyways dis is ur time to finally walk away from Ada, if u want nsala soup, learn how to cook it or go to mamacaSs! Lurv u Nobs…..mwuah!

  13. What’s this new “bold and beautiful” twist you’ve got where readers have to come back on Wednesday for the concluding part? It’s starting to get a bit contrived. The first time you were busy, the next time you were sick. I say you’re just being cynical and looking to improve website traffic.

  14. Buzor, trust me, I have been in the same effed up situation like you’re in. The Ada chick might like you, but the truth as bitter as it may sound is that she aint the one for u.Just cuz she loves you doesn’t mean that you lot are in love(love does not exist by the way, its a white-propaganda lol). Stick with ur heart brah, and ur johnson too….trust me, it’ll pay off in the nearest future.Daddy

  15. @Juicejuice and all,
    I try as much as possible to update every weekend but you must also agree with me that some days are just too hard.
    Last night,I attended the Lagos Jazz series and only got home at about 12:06am and you know I also have a day job.
    I’ll try as much as possible to update OTIF but some days are just plain impossible.
    It’s just a lazy way out,not traffic related.

  16. so Ada’s mother knows how to compose text? why have i always had that perception that her folks were illiterate? just joking. happy married life Nobs (hope it’s not too early to say).

  17. No fair Nobs! Half gist doesn’t cut it mehn. Am I the only one that noticed this says wk 26? U beta update the memoirs with full gist as wk 25 & I’ll let it slide 😀

  18. U hv jst missd IT…u don’t want ada u only like d idea of ada. Ada might nt classy or sassy.. Bt I think she wuld hv made a gud wife.. D fact dat a dude 4rm jand wants to marry her bt she is still all ova u(dat doesn’t call or txt her) means she rily does LOVE U!!. Yeah slim,yellow bikin babe,etc might b fun nd presentable bt I doubt they r d rite girls 4 u. Slim is ur best bet so don’t let her go o!.

  19. I have neva commented but I wud 2dai, is it me or it jst keeps getting shorter? Making us miss the point. Kindly leave ada alone n find ur very own ada made 2 ur specifications, coz dats obviously wat u want.

  20. They say you should eat it, you say “no, it’s just bones” : They say you should throw it away, you say “no, there’s still small meat there”.

    This is a classic case of the kettle and pot. how can you call her a tease when you are doing just that to her?

    Make up your mind young man.

  21. Ahahhhn oga noble! This is wednesday and u are yet to post d concludin part of d gist.
    Am itchin to hear about what eventually happened and u had berra do it fast or else I will……

  22. Nobs its wednesdayyyyy d suspense is killlllling pls cn u complete d gisstt I sha ope she didn’t do anytin silly!!! Ada shud wake up n no u aint gonna marry her n pls put her out of her misery n tell her noble igwe its nt fair!!!! Lol!

  23. Nobs how far u nah, wednesday never pass for the place where u dey! we get ur point, ur good! U knw how to keep us coming for more!! Oya post ooo!! Haba??

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