MEMOIRS OF A SLU…shhKid: WK23

share on:

Regulars, you know the P and new comers abeg make una Read the rules here before una start to dey complain o.  We no dey hold prisoners for this page o.  No talk say we no warn una o. Ooooooshe!!!

Sunday, October 10th 2010

Dear Diary,

7pm
I was on my way to the launch of Mannequin Magazine when the call came through…

Ada: Nobs, are you coming to get me?

Nobs: I’m on my way to an event but Obinna is already waiting for you at Jibowu.

Ada: Okay. Are you coming home early?

Nobs: I don’t know yet but I’ll try.

Ada: Kedu Ife ichoro iri ma ibata? (What would you like to eat?)

Nobs: I want to even stop eating late.

Ada: Okay..Mana iwe okana ewe gi?

Nobs: Nope. We’ll talk about all these when I return.

Ada: Please come home early.

Nobs: Okay

When she dropped something she said got me thinking. She referred to my house as “home”. I guess I was just being paranoid and there was nothing really wrong with her referring to my house as “home” but not after that conversation with her father.

The Magazine launch was a blast (You can see faces at the launch here). Congratulations to Didi and her team.

After the launch, I didn’t want to go straight home ‘cos I wasn’t sure the direction my discussion with Ada was going to take so I wanted to take my time to construct how my convo would go with her. I drove to some hotel in VI to visit some friends and later on to Rehab to support Sound Sultan at his Album listening party even though I didn’t stay for the event because they started late and I had to go to work on Monday plus there is Ada in the house expecting me and of course memoirs.

The drive home was one of the longest and as expected, the living room lights were still on. I hadn’t even knocked when she opened the door.

Ada: Buzor, good evening…

Nobs: Nne, kedu?

Ada: Odinma

Nobs: I’m so sorry I took this long.

Ada: It’s okay. I made you food.  Should I get you some?

Nobs: I ate already. I’ll just complete an article and then, we’ll talk (I hurriedly finished Memoirs and sent to Bims).

I walked back to my room, switched on the light so I could change and that was when I noticed it. I couldn’t believe my eyes. Upon all my countless tweets on my hatred for hairnet, Ada was wearing one. I know she’s not on Twitter but I expected her to know better.

(Dear Future wife, if you are reading this no matter what you do, please be notified that wrapper and hairnet are not allowed in my house, our home)

While undressing…

Nobs: I hope your trip was not stressful

Ada: It was not, Buzor. I hope you know I’m leaving tomorrow cos I didn’t tell anybody I was coming to Lagos.

Nobs: No problem. I’ll have Obinna drop you off but then you mentioned something about bar beach.

Ada: I thought I was going to arrive early but the bus was not speeding at all.

Nobs: Hmm, so your dad called me and was talking something about you, marriage and I. Do you want to put me through?

Ada: Buzor, it’s like this. Papa anyi is always asking me about getting married and during one of our conversations my mother asked me about my relationship with you and how serious we are but then my dad decided to call you himself.  You know this thing about grand children. Biko, forgive me. I didn’t think he was going to call you.

Nobs: Where you there?

Ada: Yes, I was but I couldn’t stop him.

Nobs: You know that we are not dating, like we’ve not seriously agreed to be dating?

Ada: I know but is there anything wrong with me? Is it that I’m not up to your standard?

Nobs: It’s not like that. We need to know if we are compatible with each other.

Ada: But you’ve not given us the chance.

Nobs: I know but I’m going through a lot at the moment.

Ada: Buzor, I can help

Nobs: And marriage is not the topmost thing on my agenda.

Ada: Buzor, let’s just define what we have and we can take it from there.

Nobs: Okay. Just give me a week so I can sort out my issues at work and then we can agree on our relationship and everything concerning it.

Ada: Okay come to bed.

Nobs: Give me a few.

I was confused…a little and didn’t want to have sex with Ada.  I thought about everything that could go wrong with having sex with her and then telling her a week later that “we can’t work”.

I got unto the bed and immediately she touched me, I told her that:

Nobs: Erm I’ve missed you but I can’t really do all the things that I would’ve loved to do to you because I’m on two weeks fasting.

Ada: I’ll respect your decision but remember that I’ll always love you.

Nobs: I know Ada.

Few minutes later, she placed her head on my chest and we slept off.

Monday, October 11th 2010

Dear Diary,

5.30am
I woke up with no Ada beside me and for a moment I thought that I was dreaming but the aroma told me what I needed to know. Ada was already awake preparing breakfast for me.

I got down from the bed and there was warm water in the bathroom waiting for me. At that point,  I wanted to walk straight to the kitchen and ask her to marry me.

I had my bath, got ready for work and hugged Ada with so much love in my heart.  I drove to work thinking that if only I could overlook certain situations, maybe Ada may be the woman for me.

Wednesday, October 13th 2010

Dear Diary

7.00pm
It was another hectic day at work and to calm my nerves, I decided to meet Akunna at Orchid Bistro for an early dinner. I had some rice iishh and a very cold glass of Coca Cola.

We were still eating when I saw her ears, not Akunna’s but the cute babe sitting across our table. She had one of the cutest ear piercings and so I twitted “A babe with multiple piercing on her ears can get it everyday” but what I didn’t know was that someone that follows me on twitter saw me and noticed that I was with someone but was busy checking out someone else with multiple ear piercings.

Well, one thing let to another and before I knew it I was tweeting away at cutie and then we extended it to DM and from DM we fixed a date at the same spot that we first met but this time instead of sitting at different tables, we sat together at one.

Now let me tell you about Cutie, she’s got a very cute charming smile and experiments with colours.  I had my usual Waffles and Ice Cream while she had cookies and water.

We gisted about almost everything from school to family and at some point it felt like we had known each other for years.
At the end of our date, we went to the car pack and I gave her a CD containing my favorite songs and we sat down in the car for her to go through the songs. She told me that she knew most of them but would email me the list of the songs.

Did I tell you that before the date, she said that all communication would be via twitter and if we ever became friends, we would exchange numbers and then BB pins sometime in the future?

Later that same night, she “DMed”me to send her my email address so she could email me the song list. She did and she got every single one of them right.

My life was on track until I got a DM from one of my followers and it read, “My name is Gene, send me your email address so that I can give you a reason to see me”. I sent it to her and the below was the picture I got from her.

and the email read…

Dear Nobs,
I’ve been reading your memoirs for a while and I must confess I never believed that they were real until I met  the real Biola and she told me about  both of you and funny enough the stories aligned.
Let’s meet on Friday at Ice Cream factory. Dinner on me. Add me 21********
Gene xxx

I added her on BBM and we agreed to meet Friday at ICF.

Friday, October 15th 2010

Dear Diary

8.00pm
I got to Ice Cream factory about 8pm but I wasn’t sure of what to expect so I pinged her

Nobs: Oi, I’m here

Gene: I’m inside..

To be completed on Wednesday ………..

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind.
He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys.
Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS.

Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid

Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

32 comments

  1. Great!!!!now we have to wait ’til Wednesday…oh well…. and b.t.w. nobs, ther is a sayin that ‘whoever said d way to a man’s heart is thru his stomach was aiming too high.’ consider that when u think of ada.

  2. i bet u’re nt going to marry ada even dating her. so pliz stop letting her yearn for smthing with u. and by the way, i would’nt be surprised if she was a “non shakabl” reader of ur memoirs. just waiting to see her coming out. nw it is gene hmm!!!


    Sent on a phone using T9space.com

  3. neva be caught not spelling out a relationship cz ur goin t have 360 on it. n wassup wit u n not settling down meanwhile u want go icecream n piercings wit all d chicks

  4. Nobs…you’re becoming a master @ the Art of Suspense. E no good oh! Ahn ahn…ℓoℓ.

    Its obvious Ada wants to smash you but you’re scared ’cause she knows your family and if anything goes wrong; you don enter one chance!

    Take it from me the best thing is to keep her close;as friends and wen u fink ur ready…make it do what IT do!
    And as for Genn….u kno the P! Do What u Do!

  5. Nobs…you’re becoming a master @ the Art of Suspense. E no good oh! Ahn ahn…ℓoℓ.

    Its obvious Ada wants to smash you but you’re scared ’cause she knows your family and if anything goes wrong; you don enter one chance!

    Take it from me the best thing is to keep her close;as friends and wen u fink ur ready…make it do what IT do!
    And as for Gene….u kno the P! Do What u Do!

  6. Nobs…
    From the bottom of my very deep heart, please let Ada know..
    I feel so sorry and sad….there is something innocent and naive about her…
    On a lighter note, good to see you are back.. Guess your tale of the 2 weeks fasting does hold water after all since you haven’t done it in two weeks..(I hope)

  7. awww poor little virgin ada. Noble pls leave her be…ur just being selfish jo. allow her, so her family will help to look for the next eligible bachelor lol.u need to bang the shit outta gene tho! thats what the lady wants anyway! 😀

  8. gene wnts d chizzle fr chizzle…PILE HER TO REFUSAL cos she has given you her ROW…pardon me im jst using engineerin terms….hey dnt frget to DOUBLE COAT…lolsss..bad guy

  9. Me thinks that you can make Ada the girl that you want her to be. She’s a virgin,she’s ibo,naïve,good cook,does “wifely” thngs like puttin ur bathwater…I feel tht she respects ur opinions n aims to please u so if u tell her abt the hairnet..and otha thngs u may nt like..buy her clothes..tush her up..then see hw it goes..don’t take the virginity yet sha!

  10. Biko, eh Gene na man? That lower part of the face does not match the chest.
    Chei, poor Ada. I respect you Nobs, you did not make the grave mistake of messing around with her because there would have been kasala (sp?).
    Chei, women are not playing these days o. I always wondered why there were so many complaints of being single but I have an idea. Nobs, please tell me cutie was not the one chopping cookie with fork (I am just an idiot, no mind me).
    All in all, you are a good guy sha. You did for Ada what not a lot of men would do.

  11. My heart bleeds for ada, pleaaasse let her know exactly how you feel or dont feel. I’m a lady and i know exactly how she feels. Great read.

  12. Ashawo Noble…u 2much Playa like u,Ada is the Wife jor,make others collect gbenshing make dem go…but Ada is the Woman of yur house…lol

  13. Gene’s face looks like a man’s but the chest tells a different story. By the way, multiple piercings are what ghettoed-out black American women used to get in the 90’s. Even they have moved on, I consider them to be worse than hairnets.

  14. @nobs if you don’t want hair net or scarves worn, I suggest you marry a white chick or deal with a black girl with jacked up hair everyday. If we don’t protect our hair while sleeping on a pillow or sheets that aren’t silk all of it will break off. And I know that wouldn’t be acceptable either. Don’t blame us, blame God! I can see it possible with silk sheets/pillowcase but then again the style we paid quite a bit for would be jacked up in the morning, and we don’t want that either. You just haven’t found the right girl who can rock a scarf well and look damn good doing so…trust you wouldn’t mind it after all…lol. Just fyi!

  15. lmao@ur lie about fasting. Thats just pure despiration. Plus i thnk its about time u man up n free Ada. e don do. dont destroy the girl, she dosnt deserve it.

    1. that’s a totally different person… go get glasses or something. the Yvonne person you just exposed to the world is a beautiful,clearly feminine woman, while Gene, as mentioned above, looks like a man with great boobies.

Leave a Reply