MEMOIRS OF A SLU…shhKid: Wk22

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It’s another interesting week on 360nobs with our new BeazysMusicMonday and fashion column with the 360nobs Orange Boy. You can also read memoirs while watching Pope’s “Enjoy” and Wizkid’s “Holla at your boi”.

(Flashback)

Last week, I didn’t say much about Slim but I think you guys deserve to know more.

I can’t count how many times that I’ve seen comments on Memoirs asking about Slim. The truth is Slim got busy with school and I changed department at work so we both became very busy but according to Slim “Your keles increased and you paid lil or no attention to friendship”.  I totally disagree with Slim, there are no new keles…okay, maybe Tiffany happened but that did not make me disregard our friendship.

Looking at her standing by the door, I realized how much I’ve missed all those weekends we used to hang out. If someone is permitted to use the word “love” around “just friends” I think, I love Slim and I miss the old us. I found an old picture of us and thought to share with you guys.

Hanging out with the Ani sisters is always fun and that Sunday was no exception. They were going to the beach but decided to stop by for breakfast with the Igwes’.

It was all fun until I realized that a certain friend was coming to pick them up from mine. There’s nothing wrong with someone picking them up but for an unknown reason I was jealous that this certain someone was coming on behalf of SLIM. I tried to pretend I was happy but It wasn’t working ‘cos I kept thinking that someone has taken over my spot.

It was a fun morning and yes, some people present at mine kept saying that Slim and I should try dating since we seem to understand each other…I think dating will spoil everything and maybe I should stop getting jealous about her male friends.

(Continued from last week Sunday)

Nobs: Good Evening, sir

PapaAda: Did I wake you up, Nna?

Nobs: It’s fine, Uncle. Kedu ka unu mere?

PapaAda: Anyi di nma.  Unu araru kwa?

Nobs: Yes, uncle.

PapaAda: I’m really sorry that I woke you up but if you want to sleep maybe I should drop and call back in the morning.

Nobs: Uncle, its okay and I can actually go back to bed later.

PapaAda: Ndo, Nna.  Asi m kam juo gi.  You know Ada would soon be rounding up her university and ya bu Ada aburozi obere nwa.  Not a small girl at all.

Nobs: I know, Uncle.

PapaAda: Mu na mama Ada are not getting younger and we require not just a grandchild but a helping son in law to assist with our needs.

Nobs: I totally understand you but Uncle, why are we discussing Ada’s marriage?

PapaAda: Yes, kam biakwa. We are discussing  Ada’s marriage because the few times that we’ve tried to discuss marriage with her, your name comes up and she seems to  be very interested in whatever it is that you people have.

Nobs: But, Uncle…

PapaAda: Chere nna.

Nobs: Okay

PapaAda: Nna, kedu ife umu n”eme? How serious are you people?

Nobs: I really understand your concerns but I would like to ask for a favour.

PapaAda: Gini Nna?

Nobs: I would like to speak to Ada first and I’ll then call you.

PapaAda: Nsogbu adiro

Nobs: Kene sia mama Ada

Okay, that was a moment I never expected in this whole comic drama tagged “Ada and Nobs”. I can’t define us as dating and you’ll agree with me. We’ve not spent quality time together and as such we cannot totally refer to us as an ‘Item’.  I know maybe I should have given her the opportunity to travel to Abuja with me, maybe that would have brought us closer but certain things discouraged me, like “why would one take sand to the beach?”

Secondly, people say that sex is a vital aspect of a relationship and I’ve not crossed that path with her and so can not tell if she’s the type of woman I would loved to spend the rest of my life with. I know she’s a Virgin (at least that was what she said) but not everyman is tripped by the sentence “I’m still Virgin”.  I’ve been BAD and a lil badness should be expected of my wife and most virgins usually have nothing to bring to the table, in fact some of them do not even see the table as a comfortable place for sex love making.

Please don’t get me wrong, something tells me that Ada will make a great wife but a part of my mind still paints a picture of a traditional love.  I’m not claiming to be westernized and all that but I also do not want a marriage were for us to prepare “Akpu” I’ll be doing the “pounding “ while Ada “stirs”.  I’ve included the picture below to help your imagination.

After the call I couldn’t go back to sleep and I kept thinking of how to start the conversation with Ada but on the other hand, I did not want it to be ‘a phone conversation’ so I called her.

Ada: Buzor, good evening

Nobs: Ada, Kedu?

Ada: Odinma.

Nobs: So, I just got off the phone with your dad and I was wondering if you know anything about the call?

Ada: I overheard him but maka chukwu I did not ask him to call you.

Nobs: So what was the call all about?

Ada: Buzor, biko iwe ewene gi. Can I call you in the morning?

Nobs: When can you come to Lagos? I don’t think this is a phone conversation.

Ada: What about next week Sunday?

Nobs: That’s fine.

Ada: Kedu Ife ichoro kam weta? Do you want Akpu and Abacha?

Nobs: Anything is fine.

Ada: Are you mad at me, buzor?

Nobs: No.

Ada: Okay, we’ll see on Sunday and are you going to take me to bar beach?

Nobs: Nsogbu adiro.

I thought about calling my mum to inform her about the development but on the other hand I wasn’t sure if waking up at about 12midnight to talk about a woman is any mother’s delight. While I was trying to force myself to sleep,  a BBM came in from LYB and we got pinging with OMOTAYO’sAll of a sudden” playing in the background

  All of a Sudden (6.0 MiB, 4,824 hits)

Trust me, this is a huge tune for late night blackberry bolding.

Friday, October 8th 2010

5.30am

My love for Friday’s is as deep as a size 16-babe hatred for skinny jeans. I wanted to compare it to Lumi’s hatred for Lace front wing and Rita Nwaturocha D’s love for the same but decided not to.

Talking about Lace front wig and human hair, if armed robbers decide to move around clubs on the Island on a Friday, they will load enough “human hair” with a market price big enough to build a modern shopping complex….ok maybe not a shopping complex but a secondary school but one thing is certain, natural hair is fast becoming a thing of the past.

I recently saw a lady that bought everything about her, starting from her lace wig, to the her permanent brow, to her artificial eye lashes, bleached skin, wonder bra, body magic, French tips and six inches heels. As if the above listed items are not artificial enough, her boyfriend is a Vibrator named Ogadinma.

If you are reading this and wearing all of the above mentioned at the same time, it’s nothing personal and I can’t judge you just be careful when passing an exposed flame.

6.20pm

Before Ice cream factory, I used to spend a lot of time at Orchid Bistro, so it was great when Lumi suggested Orchid Bistro for our meeting.

Buppa came through for a Team360nobs meeting and while we were waiting for Lumi, we had Waffles and ice Cream. I don’t know what it is with Ice cream and me, either I didn’t have enough in my former life or  I think I must have been starved of it as a child.

Meeting held, Beazy’s Music Monday got an exclusive on 360nobs and TV shows moved to my hard drive.

9.40pm

I drove straight to the Island to meet the boys at Bungalows. I’ve always spoken about the boys on different occasions. Here’s a picture of the boys.

We watched Wizkid’s brand new video for “Holla at Your boi over a large plate of pizza and afterward some of us drove down to Estanola’s for drinks, chicken and Tuface’s “Implication”.

Thank you Estanola and Kunbi for a wonderful night

I drove home to meet my  new “affair” ….A lady called FRINGE.

Saturday, October 9th 2010

Some Saturdays are supposed to be spent at home watching FRINGE. Well, that was what I did all throughout the day.

I was still writing when I got a ping from Jaydey inviting me to her hotel for an afternoon dip. I told her I would try and come through but somehow I ended up at Ice Cream factory for a meeting with the Orange boy and Buppa.Team360nobs

7.00pm

ICF on Saturday evening is usually filled with different peeps and I also saw pretty BBB with her friends.

From ICF to Bungalows to meet the boys and then to Ikeja for a party at the place and  back to the Island to Kiss the Famous DIVAS at Bacchus.

12.02am

Bacchus is gradually coming back to what it used to be and It was so much fun hanging out with MUNA, OMAWUMI, TIWA SAVAGE, SASHA P and DR SID.

3.00am

I came home and saw two episodes of FRINGE.

Sunday, October 10th 2010

10.00am

I woke up, went to the fridge for some cookies and came back to FRINGE.

It’s raining and Jaydey is asking me to come over to her hotel. Maybe, I should give in already after all she’s only here for a week or two.

3.00pm

A text came in and it read, “We just passed Benin. Will you come and get me?”

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

27 comments

    1. Guy in the Green Tie is Ebuka of BBN..I tought he was still in the US..Saw his pics with my friend during the NEA in NY on Facebook…@Nobs ice cream will not kill u & nice article…lol

  1. U and icecream ehn, I swear down, I though I had issues, but u can’t be helped :p
    I think u shud cut ada off jor, she isn’t what u need at all,
    Cute cute friends, introduce oh noble :p

  2. Thanks for introducing us to more people with this episode. The pic of you pounding akpu is hilarious. Is that want you want? Serious village love. Hehehe

  3. Nobs…
    I do feel like you didn’t give us in-depth details oh!
    Assist with their needs… I think they think you’re minting and printing press.
    Please leave their daughter alone..let them give her to an Ibo trader or something- No offense.

  4. ok! i love the fact that there were faces to the names this week pls intrducce us to more people oo….

    really ada and her father?its really getting old jare so peeps still do that in this day and age?? na wah ooo…

    btw slim is reallyy cuuuttteeee….

    May God save you from ice cream oo, ok now am nnot even sure u wanna b saved..enjoy ooo….

    pls more details with ‘fring’ dts d name of ma chat app..lol

  5. Lol @ R$LLS…na true you talk sha. I’m a little concerned about that assisting with our needs part, although an in law helps out…that is not the sole purpose of your marrying their child…popping out kids and helping out. Ladies, biko get an education and stand on your feet o so you can assist your hubbies…in assisting your parents, it is too much for one person to do.
    I wish you the best with this whole thing nwannem, it is funny to us but it must be a bit uncomfortable for you. Whatever the outcome sha, we have your back (electronically but none the less, we still support you.

    1. O, make una no dey complain about ladies and their fake bits. Na una dey encourage am, I hear our babes are struggling back home because they can’t get any play in lag or abj if they are not lace wiged, acrylic nailed, fake lashed and pancaked up beyond recognition.

  6. hahaha.absolutely full of intrigues.honestly i think that despite how homely Ada may seem,you guys are on different lanes and might not end up together as man and wife.unlesss if….

  7. @ME .. are u a retard? did u read what he said?

    I drove straight to the Island to meet the boys at Bungalows. I’ve always spoken about the boys on different occasions. Here’s a picture of the boys.

    he didn’t say Ebuka was there. he just showed you a photo of the boys he talked about always. damn.. some people are dumb!

  8. Damn! It bin along ass ride! Nobs o Nobs!!! U berra leave that marriage ish outta the question and Ada espcially. Ada needs brushing up…maybe Diction tutorials,Finishing school and holidays in Jand (not yankee). And then she might b ready. But really let the marriage happen naturally. Jus take note of the qualityz ur wife HAS to have! #Shikena and go for it.

  9. Wow this is so good. Startin readin by 5am refused to comment till i finished readin.So this is my comment ezigbo madu e ne de ofuma ofuma. Leave d haters no be by force to read.My only beef be say i no get Bb and u dey rub am 4 my face.Lol.
    Oops it’s just thur,Am so lookin 4ward to monday.Am so addin u on fb. Ciao av a fun& totally juicy weekend. P.s i love ice cream

  10. Ada………..i ve seen cases were pple end up tgeda frm being just friends.About d Akpu, we have d already prepared ones, so u dnt need to pound.

  11. Could you please, please, PLEASE stop assuming all your readers are Igbo and start being consistent with translations. Thanks a lot in anticipation 🙂

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