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I don’t know about you, but reading Mills & Boons and watching soap operas while growing up really screwed with my idea of what love is.

As far as I was concerned, just like it was for the Heroes and Heroines in the stories, once the magic words were said, then like ‘Open Sesame’, I would be ushered into a fairytale world of happily-ever loving.

What a crock of Bullshit!!

Isn’t it amazing that even in my illusion of Maturity, I still imagine on some level that once the words ‘I love you’ are said, then its bliss from then on?!

“I love you”

I can’t lie, the words are sweet to the ear sha!! But that’s about all they do, satisfy the craving for affirmation within us all.

True Love has nothing to do with the effect a relationship has on you, but the impact you are making on the other person.

If saying “I love you” could change everything, then the world will be an utopian paradise by now. Saying the L phrase has become in relationships, what ‘Wassap’ and ‘How far’ has become in our everyday interactions.

You never really have an answer to those questions, we just say them because they have become a part of our vocabulary.

How many guys or girls have whispered ‘I love you’ to their significant other, and waited with bated breath at what the response will be?!

Since when did expressing your heart to someone become a proposal in itself? Let’s face it, if the love you are expressing is real, then it wouldn’t matter so much whether the person you tell replies the same to you.

LOL…I know how painful it can be to tell someone ‘I love you’ and they reply ‘Thank You’ or ‘I know’!!

But in truth, Love is better expressed through our actions, rather than our words.

It is foolhardy to judge whether someone loves us or not by if they have told us the magic words.

Hearing ‘I love you’ is good, don’t get it twisted…but showing ‘I love you’ is of greater value.

So it will do us all a truckload of good if we communicated our Love in the choices we make and actions we take toward the people in our lives, rather than judging by three highly overused and overrated words.

Even if we want to know if we are loved by another, we should focus on what their actions toward us are speaking, instead of waiting for their words to reveal Love.

I guess the bottomline of all I’m saying is LET YOUR “I LOVE YOU” BE MORE IN ACTION THAN IN TALK.

Tari’s blog is also follow @TariEkiyor on twitter.

Tari Ekiyor

Tari Ekiyor

The quirky and humorous musings of a young writer who is determined to have nothing short of the best of everything in spite of the fact that everything seems to be trying to have the best of her. Welcome to S-I-R (STRONG INDEPENDENT & RELEVANT). You can also catch Tari on her blog


  1. Tari! You took all the wandering thots in my head and my heart o! This is soooo true, jst to hear those 3 words as an affirmation of what exactly?!!
    But I guess, jst as words are empty wtout action, actions can b misinterpreted wtout words(?) Dts hw d guy wud claim he wz jst being a good christain brother!

  2. @Anvil just curious why would you go the whole way with a woman that’s not your wife in the first place? What do gain? Really?

  3. @Anvil just curious why would you go the whole way with a woman that’s not your wife in the first place? What do gain? Really? Karma is a bitch oh. You guys know it hurts your gender more.

  4. I have heard it said somewhere that: Love is a four letter word that deceives the ear/ That leaves girls mushy with plenty words to

  5. Sex.
    For the sake of it. Really.
    Just didn’t realize that the currency had evolved from mutual interest and consent to empty promises.

  6. totally agree mehn those three words are so wrongly thrown around every where dis days and on the mills and boon part me too i had that same idea growing up

  7. … I know it’s become the norm to have sex with women other than your wife but I am really curious about the following:

    1. Would you feel anyway if your wife had a sideguy just for sex?
    2. If you were to be honest, would you say you still love your wife?
    3. Would you consider having an open relationship i.e. she does as she pleases and so do you?
    4. Do you ever feel guilty about the cheating or do you think your wife is to blame?

    I am not even condemning you but I am really curious.

  8. Good stuff Tari. I met a guy a few months ago and the first day we hung out, he was like, “babe, I know I just met you, but I think I’m in love with you.” I was so disgusted by that move!! Called him out on it, and told him that asides from his silly play at me, he’d be cool to have keep as just a friend.
    3-4 months later, he’s like he’s been doing the whole friendship thing with me, and he seriously wants me to be his girl…for some reason, I still can’t take him seriously. Yet another voice in my head is telling me to give it a chance…so confused.

  9. I agree wit ur words…

    But sometimes guys lie even when their actions towards us speak love and in such situation it takes the grace of God to know the truth.
    So in such a situation, how wud u know if the guy truly loves u?

    Wonderful piece.

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