MEMOIRS OF A SLU…SHHKID: WK20

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A note from THE EDITOR

This is to apologize profusely for posting this sooooo late as well as the other posts scheduled for today(Monday): Big Brother Africa Highlights, a post from Suzanne and Moments with Mo.  I’ll have to blame a few things….Oluronbi: The Musical and Tuface’s concert as well as having a day job.  Plus, Oyeakd also kinda begged not to post anything until he was done with his Top 50 songs over 50years countdown which you need to absolutely check out for some essential naija music history.

Now back to the reason you clicked on this link…

To enjoy reading the contents of this post, please ensure you have read the rules .  Abeg, make una just enjoy as entertainment, NO JUDGING, plix.(hehehhehehe)


I pulled my lappy wondering what to write about cos there’s really so much to tell.  Yeah, I went to Abuja and I had a threesome but for some reason I decided to take it off last week’s memoirs.

I’m at a very confused stage in my life and I know that’s none of your business but Tiffany seems to be a bad idea. Believe me, she is.

Before I go ahead with the memoirs, I need you all to know that I just wrote this line at 02.40am and two things are responsible;
1.    I went for Tuface’s concert and it ended at past 12midnight(I went with LYB)
2.   I’m writing from Tiffany’s hotel room in Lekki Phase 1

Sunday, September 19th 2010

Dear Diary,

So, I was a lil confused as what to do when I got home, considering the fact that I did not want what happened between Biola and Slim to repeat itself. I decided to man it up. I thought maybe I should suggest a threesome to both. I wasn’t really bothered about Biola cos she does not really mind sharing me but I was scared that Shirls might not want Biola to know her real identity so I “pinged”  Shirls…

Nobs: PING

Shirls: Hey Boo, what’s up?

Nobs: Are you already on your way?

Shirls: No, do you want to come and get me?

Nobs: No, something came to my mind.

Shirls: What ????

Nobs: How come we never thought about a threesome?

Shirls: Hmmm, seems someone is in a dirty mood.

Nobs: Maybe I should invite someone over tonight

Shirls: Nobs, who are you inviting over?

Nobs: Who do we invite?

Shirls: You came up with the idea, so you suggest.

Nobs: Biola…

Shirls: Have you been drinking?  Nobs???

Nobs: Nope. She’s at mine.

Shirls: Rrrright…

Nobs: She didn’t tell she was coming.

Shirls: Nobs, call me when she’s gone and no, I’m not mad at you. I really don’t mind that I”m sharing d**k with her but a threesome with her would feel like eating with the same spoon and since I’m not so clear on the condition of her dentition, I’ll pass.

Nobs: Babes, I’m really sorry.

Shirls: Nobs, it’s fine. You are the one missing out. I really planned to stop you from going to work tomorrow.

Nobs: I’m really soweeee

Shirls: Babes, I’ll just sleep off the agro.

I got home and I was informed that Biola was smoking the on the balcony. I walked over and said hi

Nobs: Hey, Bee

Biola: Hey, Cute thing

Nobs: So, what’s up?

Biola: I’m good.

Nobs: Are you just wearing a T-shirt?

Biola: With nothing under…

Nobs: But my sister is in

Biola: Is she not in her room?

Nobs: I need to go change

Biola: Nope. You are so changing here. Lock the kitchen door.

Nobs: Are you saying what I’m thinking?

Biola: Nobs, I’ve been drinking and right now I’m so horny, i need my property inside of me now.

I walked over to the door and locked it from the inside.

Nobs: So, what now?

Biola: Undress!

Nobs: Okay ma, but my neighbours are sha around.

Biola: I’ll try not to scream.  A lot.

Nobs: (now naked) What now ma?

Biola: Come to me!!!

The kissing started and all that in few minutes Biola was bent over on the balcony with her hands on the rail and me behind.

I can’t remember everything we said to each other but I can remember her saying

“Nobs, I don’t care about who you’ll finally marry but if you bring her into this house, tell her that I beat her to ‘it’. ‘It’ being having sex with you at all the corners of this house. I think we should also use your sister’s bed one of these days.”

By the way @Biola, (If you are reading this), my sister just read this and we may have lost that corner of the house.

Monday, September 20th 2010

Dear diary,

Work was a female dog and thanks to Biola, I couldn’t really do much at work. (Chei, every time she comes around na use she go use me die, i no complain sha, execersing my muscles is very important since going to the gym is out of the question).

I got to the Island and decided to stop over at Ice Cream factory for some of that good Isshh.  I hate to admit this but I think if a fat girl with lace front wig offers me Ice cream, she may get to lay me. Yes, I’m that cheap. Anythig for Ice Cream.

I was still enjoying my Ice Cream when she walked in…Yes,  LYB walked into Ice Cream factory.

Guys, it’s 3.20am and I’ve got work today. Lying on the bed naked is Tiffany and it’s raining now. I need to summarize something that we’ve already started.

I’ll conclude this on Wednesday, No FAIL.  If i do, pls shoot me on Twitter.

Things to note:  LYB = Lady in yellow Bikini (check abuja pre slu…shh/play pool party).

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

46 comments

  1. am i missing something nobs? You wrote that tiffany was going for two weeks in ur last week memiors? How come u re now writing from her hotel room in just one week?

  2. chilling in sumones hotel room doesnt mean sleeping with them ! get ur minds out of the gutter .. the young man is just sharing his location !! what do u have against front lace wigs noble ??

  3. Now I strongly blive this memoirs are pack of lies…ur supposed tiffany was meant to travel for a week and suddenly u r in her bed..abeg all these things na lie..and what is your bone of contention..infact noble igwe u too dey make mouth..people like you at the end of the day end up marrying ugly girls..as far as I am concerned you are just a CELEBRITY PROSTITUTE who wants to be popular by all means..BIGHEAD.

  4. Sometimes I get confused with what you lot want.
    I’m just keeping a diary and not writing a story.
    Read the rules and take it easy on the insults.
    I’ll update the rest tomorrow

  5. LMAO!! Whoooo, Nobs na wa oh. Who be all these ur “fans” now? These same pple talking dat MEMOIRS is all lies are the same pple who logged in a million times yday to see if you had posted it yet. It’s not that serious people… Read, laugh, have fun, move on. Shikena. 🙂

  6. Did u arrange d meeting w lyb or she found u?last week she was in abj and nau she’s in lag and at same spot u r…and do u like her as much as tiffany?

  7. before u lie, think well. its good to know youre not good but dude i wonder why u bother. biola,shirls and tiff prolly read this shit. Noble its either theyre all street girls or these are lies. Girls ARE possessive!

  8. Na wa to people oh!if he doesn’t post,problem; if he does,wahala…if u don’t wanna read abeg go pick ur nose and let’s hear word!I don’t care if its a lie,I’m entertained full stop.
    @nobs:tomorrow oh!!!

  9. Yes let them be lies, White; Blue and in this case yellow! LOL..
    Who cares.. READ THE RULES… Who Give A F***!
    Nobs!
    Just know, you have your very own stans!
    HEHEHEHEHEHEHE.

  10. Interesting… Umm Nobs, is this partial blog thing going to become the norm or has your life been way too hectic to stick to posting it all on Monday? Just curious. Also, you may want to tread lightly with Biola, chicks like that tend to be crazy, things may not end well there.

  11. Abeg,all ds ppl insultn Chibuzor,go n open ur own blog n speak d truth bou ur life or berra still quite readn d memoir.Enweghi ihe e mere uwa n du dem well..na wah ooo.Nobs ride on Jareh.

  12. IMHO….Some bits of these memoir sound TOO made up Noble!! Its ok to make up stories but biko be easy! For instance,we’ve read abt Shirls for a while and an average mind can discern d kind of relationship u share(if its real), except if she’s from a very special breed of females,she cldnt have jumped at the idea of a three-some like that nau!
    P.S. I’m not ‘hating’,just stating my sincere thots cos I enjoy visiting ur blog very much!

  13. In as much as I love this blog, men no dey toitoiri me with ur story, complete the stories abeg. Hey haters don’t air ur dirty comments here atleast we are enjoying this guy’s stories, picking one thing or the other as a player myself, is it his fault that girls tend to be cheap these days, so if u don’t like his stories let me refer u somewhere http://www.CNN.com

  14. Dear Chibuzor, u probably tink dis is all entertainment but remember (readers) we’ve got notin 2 lose cause we r all anonymous. Ur identity is well known 2 us. We all r avin fun 4rm d Misery u call a life. Like som1 said here, dis grls r nt classy enuf n u proud narrating ur escapades wit dem( all d riff raffs). Don’t u knw dat wen dis readers c u 2moro, they’ll hail u of course. But deep down in their hearts they knw ur no man of substance. Go ahead, tell ur stories while we enjoy d mess u’ve made out of ur life. Whether u end up being successful in d future, u will never av any respect, self worth n dignity. Ur Ma will shed tears of blood, d day she’ll stumble on2 dis blog

  15. Dear Nobs, u probably tink dis is all entertainment but remember ‘we'(readers) we’ve got notin 2 lose cause we r all anonymous. Ur identity is well known 2 us. We all r avin fun 4rm d Misery u call a life. Like som1 said here, dis grls r nt classy enuf n u proud narrating ur escapades wit dem( all d riff raffs). Don’t u knw dat wen dis readers c u 2moro, they’ll hail u of course. But deep down in their hearts they knw ur no man of substance. Go ahead, tell ur stories while we enjoy d mess u’ve made out of ur life. Whether u end up being successful in d future, u will never av any respect, self worth n dignity. Ur Ma will shed tears of blood, d day she’ll stumble on2 dis blog

    1. What the hell is this? What is ur own with his mother? U’re lucky the internet keeps u anonymous. If u don’t like it, get the hell off. Rubbish! U must be a very bitter person and live a sad existence.

    2. @ T pain: its pretty obvious u are in pain.
      Do you not have home training, peoples mothers, fathers are off limits.
      R.E.A.D T.H.E R.U.L.E.S

  16. Oh dear…looks to me like most of the people who commented on your blog didn’t read the rules…people pls, i know we are all a bit mad that we came on to this site a dozen times on monday searching for his memoirs and that just goes to show that he’s doing something right!!! i don’t care if they are true, half-truths, out right lies or mere fantasies, d koko is they spice up boring mondays& give us something to talk about. Nobs great job, don’t stop, don’t keep us waiting on mondays&please stop this new nollywoood trend of Watchout for part 2!!!

  17. Fables! Fables!! Fables!!!…we know jor but me I still enjoy it like dat jare. Ah ma keep reading dis ish for good laffs…BUT Mr Noble try remember ur stories small small na…big blunder with the Tiff 2weeks away now turned one week trip sha(u pointing out dat u don’t hv 2 ‘lie abt dese things’ only confirms u do)…sha me I still like ur fables. RIDE on jare,not everyone can write jor. 😀

  18. I never believed anything Nobs wrote in this memoirs until now and that’s because I’ve totally been unable understand how and why girls would hook up with him! BUT now I see he’s not been lying guys!
    Guys! LYB hooked up wt him! They even went for the Tuface thing 2geda!
    I should say at this point that I did a bit of poke-nosing then n I figured who LYB is! What beats me is that After all the rantings n God forbid on her twitter timeline dat she’ll never hook up wt Nobs, n with d way her friends laffed , Yet she still hooked up wt him! So she’s was indeed attracted to him?! Hahhahha! Girls sha! Na wa oh! Did she think Nobz won’t tell hs devout readers? LOL! Seriously, I Thot LYB was rily classy! But she jst FELL My HAND! *bbm can’t watch smiley*

  19. Bleeeeeeeh whu cares if they re all packs of lies,Half truths etc……Yu guys shld Make up urs s☺ we can read!!!! It takes a great Imagination to “Lie” week in week out!!! No mind dem Ojare Nobs!!!

  20. @Lmao, u r evidently a very shallow human being. Because lyb went to tuface with him, u assume she’s attracted to him? U obviously don’t know lyb at all. Poke nose a little deeper before dropping stupid comments. Fyi, I know the real lyb and she is yet to fall my hand…

  21. Noble na wa o! These memoirs of yours r generating plenty beef o! I don’t understand why ppl bother reading if they’re only going to condemn. Life is about personal freedoms and as long as you’re not drugging the young women in question and they are willing participants it’s no skin off my nose.
    However as you’ve decided to make your “personal” a matter for public consumption, rules or not people’ll always, ALWAYS judge you.
    My only advice would be make sure you keep it wrapped up tight, HIV is a reality and remember condoms aren’t totally effective.

  22. Noble no mind them na bad belle. continue ur thing atleast some of us are enjoying it but make the gist longer, I think they are angry cos they av to wait till monday again to get the rest of the gist, big up to u. He easy to arrange FABLES?

  23. Good write up n yes we read d rules but some things re just too shocking to ignore.sometyms u just feel sorry for sm pple.i just hope these stories arent entirely true.

  24. wow. been a while. and yep, blame it on biola or something but ur really getting lazy Nobs. i like that ur still doing u tho…:-*

  25. No1z forcin u guys 2 read……if u dnt like wat he does shut up or cook up sumfn better!!!
    Aint dat hard 2 criticize bt u cnt do half of wat he does!!!and yall gameless peeps hu cnt handle 3 girls well enuf 4 em 2 b content wth sharin suck on ur thumbs or mine or nobs!!!its actully cute how envious green suites ur complexions well!!!!
    Nobs good work jor!!!u dey try……lil more oil wnt hurt tho!!!

  26. No1z forcin u guys 2 read……if u dnt like wat he does shut up or cook up sumfn better!!!
    Aint dat hard 2 criticize bt u cnt do half of wat he does!!!and yall gameless peeps hu cnt handle 3 girls well enuf 4 em 2 b content wth sharin suck on ur thumbs or mine or nobs!!!its actully cute how envious green suites ur complexions well!!!!
    Nobs good work jor!!!u dey try……lil more grease wnt hurt nobody tho!!!

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