Good morning beautiful people.
Are you new here…you need to read the RULES before you embark on this journey. And our good old constant reading public……you know what to do.
Friday, September 3rd 2010
It’s September already and I don’t know if am really ready for Christmas yet.
Christmas in Igbo land is not beans and unlike Giddi where popping champers can earn you a little respect, in Igbo land we ask “Erm how many cartons can you finishi?” and no, you earn your respect with “Ihe di gi n’akpa and the number 4 storey building in your name.”
It’s actually funny that sometimes parents are judged by the success of their children. The more successful your children are, the more respect you gain at the Age grade/town hall meeting.
This year I plan to travel with my fiancée but the problem is “who?”. I can decide to make my mum happy by getting engaged to Ada. Yes, she’s a good girl and all but going by the feedback on memoirs so far, some of you are of the opinion that I should get to know her better.
I must also confess that I’ve been seeing Shirls on the reg and everyday she moves deeper into the space she created in my heart. She knows how to get to a man’s heart cos she called me few days back to inform me “she was learning how to prepare Ofe Akwu and would be coming around on Sunday to prepare it”.
Biola on the other hand is not interested in spending the rest of herself with me, she’s only interested in making sure she leaves no semen strength in me for whomever that plans to marry and I ain’t complaining.
Anyways, this whole Christmas and getting hooked story should wait until December.
Immediately I pulled into the parking lot I saw her car parked and instantly knew I was going to have a nice day admiring her.
It’s official I’m crushing on my colleague and even though It’s against my principle I really can’t help this one or maybe I don’t just want to.
I was home chilling when I got the signal from the ABE boys to head out to Marquee.
Have you noticed that sometimes it’s fun to just stand and watch? Clubbing could be defined as loads of uncoordinated activities happening in the same spot with support from a DJ, No?
Okay how do you explain 4 guys dancing together without a single lady in their mist or the 3 FAT big boned chics sitting by the bar drinking ONE glass of long Island dissing every slim girl in sight or the 4 ladies sitting down checking out all the girls in the club. You can only notice these activities if you stand aside and watch but when you’re involved, you are simply clubbing.
Henny and Vodka came through with a friend and together we all joined @Funms, @estaNOLA, Nneka & ………….
We ordered ABE style…
and the night started.
I’ve always said some BOs are just plain rude. They introduce themselves before you meet their “owners” and they stay a lil bit longer than their “owners”.
We were chilling and drinking until Tuface’s “Implication” came on. Everybody stood up; immediately she raised her hands it hit my face “gbosa” and my flute slipped from my hands. It did not stop at that, “it” went round like the bullet in the final part of “Wanted” and “killed” everybody on the table. We all took it in like adults but when the DJ played “All I do is win” we all avoided her side.
I’ve always said the Auto Lounge is an adult club and it does not matter if you go to the gym or not cos no one will notice. The bigger the stomach, the richer you are perceived to be.
Once inside, the auntie that had her “garri” pouring greeted me.
Talking “garri” what happened to “Shimmy” (I hope that’s that correct spelling) that ladies used to wear in those days. It comes in milk white and black with some fine trimmings at the bottom. Those days seeing somebody’s panties is usually a long process because it will take you months to see the shimmy and more month to see the pants. Those days, you will have to switch off the lights before sex and doggy was considered a sin. Everything has changed now and some girls do not even know what a missionary style is, it’s now a 3 way process (1) Go for his fly; ( 2) undress him and yourself; (3) Go on and all fours.
A bit under the influence with sleep on my mind, I left Auto Lounge and went home alone.
I had a good time and was happy to Buch.
Saturday, September 4th 2010
Woke up and it was raining. Buzzed Tari to remind her of our 360Chat with Ikechukwu AKA Killz.
I might have slept off cos the phone woke me up
Ada: Buzor, Kedu Nkem?
Ada: Kedu ebe ino?
Ada: Gina onye?
Ada: Not that. I’m just asking na
Nobs: I’m alone
Ada: Have you eaten?
Nobs: No, but I’ll eat when I wake up
Ada: Okay. Buzor, guess what?
Nobs: You are in Lagos?
Ada: Mbanu. Okay. You know this Public holiday of next week. I’m coming to Lagos to spend it with you. I’m so happy.
Nobs: Okay but I have an event in Abuja ooooo. That’s my SLU…shh event.
Ada: Ubosi one?
Nobs: From Friday to Sunday
Ada: I’ll come with you na. I’ve not been to Abuja before and it would be great to experience first with you. Biko, Nkem.
Nobs: Hmmmm. I really don’t have so much money now. Why don’t we leave it for next time?
Ada: Buzor, I want to go and I’ll bring some money. Mama gave some money that last time that I was meant to come to Lagos. I have a feeling you don’t like me again.
Nobs: Okay what day are you coming?
Ada: Nna, iwe ona ewe gi
Ada: I’ll come on Thursday
Nobs: Okay. We’ll work something out.
Ada: I’m so happy. I heard Abuja is like abroad.
Ada: Nna, are we still going abroad before Christmas?
Ada: Yes na
Nobs: We’ll talk about it when you come.
Ada: Is there anything you want me to bring for you? I even bought you Unizik writing pad for your meetings.
Nobs: Thanks love.
Ada: Buzor, be calling me ooo.
Nobs: I will, Nne.
Ada: Ehe, I’ll also take one of your pictures when I come. My roommates want to see you. I’ve told everybody sef. One of them said I should ask you to buy me a Blackberry phone. Is it nice?
Nobs: Not really. It’s just there. I’ll get you the new Nokia handset. Don’t be mixing with corrupt girls ooo.
Ada: Okay, Nkem. I love you.
Nobs: same here
Ada: bye bye
I really don’t want her to get her hands on a BB and somehow end up on 360nobs. One thing is for sure, the day Ada gets to know about my memoirs, is the same day I’ll have to pull down the entire memoirs from week 1.
This Abuja trip with her is another thing altogether.
Buzzed Tari to let her know I was heading out to the venue of the 360chat with Killz (btw you can read Tari’s blog at www.tariere.blogspot.com).
Sauce was in the house with Killz and I listened to stuff off his soon to be released mix tape.
The interview was a blast.
Headed out to Bungalows to meet with S for a drink.
Chilled a bit and off to Zamunda for Waje’s birthday party with N.
Left Zamunda for Marquee to see big sis and then back to Zamunda.
Got a BBM from Shirls
Shirls: Hey, Nobs
Nobs: Hey baby
Shirls: Where are you?
Shirls: Are you hanging out tonight?
Nobs: Should we?
Shirls: Should I come and meet you?
And the “yes” was not delivered until 12.03am. EmteeN messed up my night by talking service away from my phone.
Shirls: It took you an hour to respond
Nobs: I didn’t have network. Can you still come?
Shirls: It’s late but let me call a cab
Nobs: Should I send one?
Shirls: Is not that serious jor
Nobs: Call one
Shirls: It’s late. Let’s leave it for tomorrow.
Nobs: Okay baby.
I went home straight to sleep.
Sunday, September 5 2010
I really planned to go to church today but somehow I over slept. I prayed for forgiveness and went to the kitchen to search for food.
Some visitors came through and I went back to my room to continue the sleep. Whoever invented bed, deprived mankind some productive hours.
This Saturday, we are shutting down Abuja for SLU…shh. Starting with a pre-SLU…shh pool party during the day and All Black Everything at night.
Drove over to Bungalows to meet up with S and @bubusn for a brief meeting.
You know what they say about taking care of you cos nobody can love you more.
I decided to pamper myself with Ice Cream and things. I bought, I ate and I slept off.
@Swaggwindy, if you are reading this, please get well soon.
It was a holy weekend.