Imagine yourself walking into a Confessional Booth with the weight of the world on your shoulders, while also slightly guarded, as you make your way to confess your sins to the Priest.
Then as you sit there silently, viewing only the shadowed outline of this person you are about to unveil yourself to, you decide to fill up the awkward silent moment by rhetorically asking the Priest “how are you?”
And he replies:
“Been horny for the last 40years, have to spend all my days listening to pathetic people bitch about their issues, and right now, anticipating the horseshit you’re about to load on me!!”
You will probably react in either of these two ways: Run the heck out of that mad chapel and go drown your sorrows at the nearest Bar, or immediately feel a strong bonding at the Priest’s revelation of his humanity, and proceed to share your troubles with him.
Such is the power of straightforward-ness in everyday human communications.
The comfort that comes with knowing that someone is not deliberately trying to hide anything from you is invaluable. It is a common human desire to want to be regarded a certain way by people around us. Unfortunately though, most times, the Illusion we project and the reality of our lives are polar opposites. So we wear masks and come up with all these ‘stylish’ ways to make ourselves appear better than what we actually are.
As a result, it is a breath of fresh air when you encounter someone who all but says to you, “Look at me, I’m screwed up, but I have accepted my reality and am now working toward changing it for the better!”
Wouldn’t you feel much more comfortable with such a person, as opposed to the one who even deceives their own selves that they are something which only exists in their heads?
Comfort and a sense of security is something every single person, even Men, want in their relationship with another person.
In order to ‘Arrest’ a guy with your lovings, my second tip is to SHOCK HIM INTO SUBMISSION.
From the first time you meet, be an open book. We all have a way of knowing people who have something to hide. Even though we may not be able to place our finger on it, our primal instinct picks up on that scent of Duality, and may become responsible for how we eventually relate with that person.
It also determines the depth of ourselves we are willing to share with the person.
‘Arresting’ a man, is really about him wanting to come ‘Home’ to you for the rest of his life. Home is that place of comfort in which you sense no threat and you can completely reveal who you are without any fear of judgment or unconstructive disapproval.
To effectively become a man’s home, you need to be his place of comfort. The one surefire way of making that happen is by you having the balls to figuratively strip yourself bare naked and let him know that THIS is who you are, and he can either take it or hit the road….JACK or JIDE or JAMIU!!
Even when you look at this principle from a selfish point of view, it still makes sense, as you need to ask yourself if you honestly want to spend the rest of your life wearing a mask. Not just with your man, but even generally with everyone else.
But Tari, you might ask, what if none of them can accept me as I am, how many guys would I have to strip for before someone finally wants to be ‘Arrested’ by me?
Great question. Now I have one of my own…
How many relationships have you been in? I know I’ve been in quite a number.
In those relationships, did you or did you not ‘strip’ or want to ‘strip’ in the literal sense of the word? As in off your cloth to jump into bed?!
I know I did.
Look at it the same way, only this time know that you’re not taking the physical clothes off, but actually shedding the inner baggage that has you constantly living in fear of rejection.
Those that will tear race, be very happy to let them go. But one day, one fine day, you will strip before a Soldier, and he sweeps his eyes over your flaws, your scars, your bruises, and will be speechless as he beholds your magnificence.
You would have SHOCKED HIM INTO SUBMISSION.
Then falling down on one knee, he’ll plead with you take him into your custody.
More tips on ‘Arresting’ a guy with your lovings next week…
Tari’s blog is www.tariere.blogspot.com; also follow @TariEkiyor on Twitter.