3 Sure Signs Your Partner is ‘Managing’ You.

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As callous and downright mean as this may sound, it does happen. Guys and girls, actually keep someone on the sideline, to ‘manage’ them until something ‘better’ comes along!!

Oh, the guy/girl is not bad sha, but deep inside you know that the person is not really ‘The One’ that you’ve believed in your heart that you deserve.

But you don’t want to completely let go of this one, as you never know what may happen. So you decide that rather than throw all your eggs along with the basket, you might as well keep one or two in the sideline ‘just in case’.

So there the other person is, believing that they are in a deeply serious and meaningful relationship, entirely committed to making it work, while you know inside yourself that ‘nuttin dey happen’.

Sad, isn’t it?!

Yet it is a reality that many people in relationships have to live with. They may or may not know that they are being ‘managed’ until ‘The One’ comes along; these days you’d be surprised what people can accept for love’s sake.

There are several different ways to spot if that is the situation you are in right now; realizing this will require complete honesty with yourself about what is really going on in your relationship.

You ALWAYS have to go the extra mile

Being in a relationship often requires that you go the extra mile for your Partner, and that in itself is not a bad thing. However, successful relationships are a two-way street, where both people are willing to go the extra mile for the other. But if you find yourself constantly being the only one who is willing to make the necessary sacrifices and commitments, it is most likely that your Partner is simply not just as committed to the success of the relationship as you are. I’m a Love Advocate by all means, but no solid relationship is built on the foundation of one heart. Two hearts have to give themselves up to become one.

Your Partner is Evasive with you in Public

Even Quasimodo, if he is loved by someone, would be celebrated by that person in public. If your Partner only seems comfortable with you in certain places and acts evasive with you in others, then he/she has definitely not accepted in their hearts that it is YOU and no-one else that they want to be with. When someone is truly committed to you, they are ready to declare it anywhere and feel no need to hide it from anyone. If you acquire an expensive designer watch for yourself, which you’ve always wanted and are very proud of, would you wear a bandage over it in public?!

Your Partner Always has something to Hide

True Love is an open book. There is no secret and no dodginess. The person lets you know that ‘this is me and I’m all yours’. When someone truly cares about you, they would even go the extra mile to make it clear to you that you have nothing to worry about, by being as open as they can be. But if a girl or guy is still being shady with you, chances are they are still searching for something out there and are aware that they can’t share that bit of themselves with you. So if you sense any dodginess from your Partner, probe gently to find the cause of it; if they still can’t be honest with you even in that, then I suggest you begin to reconsider.

While these tips are to help you determine where you stand in your Partner’s life, I also suggest that you search for these things within your own self. By that I mean that are YOU just ‘managing’ that person you’re with until someone ‘better’ come along?

Do these points I have outlined and even others I may have failed to point out, apply to you in the way you relate with your Partner?

If the idea that you are being ‘managed’ by someone makes you feel like crap, then imagine that the person who you’re doing that to also feels like that (or even worse).

So let’s do right people; if you know deep in your heart that the person (or people) you’re with is not really what you want, please spare them the agony that your dissatisfaction with them is probably putting them through right now.

Let them go.

Tari’s blog is www.tariere.blogspot.com also follow TariEkiyor on Twitter

Tari Ekiyor

Tari Ekiyor

The quirky and humorous musings of a young writer who is determined to have nothing short of the best of everything in spite of the fact that everything seems to be trying to have the best of her. Welcome to S-I-R (STRONG INDEPENDENT & RELEVANT). You can also catch Tari on her blog www.tariere.blogspot.com.


  1. lol at no love foundation is built on the heart of one. These are definitely some of the signs to look out for. Now to search my heart on the basis of this info…

  2. Tari, ur analysis is soo spot on! I recently cut someone loose cos it was just selfish to hang on to something goin nowhere. Thumbs up again!

  3. ok ma. i tink iv got som ”patients” dat i need to cut loose cuz seriously none of ’em does it for mi…i will be a gud guy and set ’em free, no thanks to you Tari..lolzzz

  4. Spot on again! Was in a relationship with a guy for 3 weeks, he’d already introduced me to his inner circle friends, I met his dad, and he couldn’t wait for me to meet the rest of his family. The guilt! When I agreed to go out with him, I knew I was merely into him, yet I wanted to give it a shot. But as soon as I realized that I didn’t feel comfortable with him meeting my friends and family, I ended it. Didn’t see the point in prolonging the inevitable. While dating him, my eyes were still peeled for Mr. Right. Shoot, whenever I met a cutie while he’s around, I’d be kicking myself…those guys could have been my Mr. Right ;-).
    When I ended it with him, I felt so relieved.

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