Finally we have arrived at the top of the Relationship Food Chain in our contemporary world of Dating. We began at the bottom of the Food Chain with ‘The Scrobo’, then the ‘Booty Call’, ‘Kele’, and also the ‘Side Chick’.
Today, it’s all about the ‘Main Squeeze’.
According to some of the learned friends and confidants who very generously shared information with me about all these Labels, every Man (single and married) has at least one of the ranks of the Food Chain in his life, aside from his ‘Main Squeeze’.
The ‘Main Squeeze’ is the one he’ll be seen in public with; the one he wants to marry, if he’s not already married to her. Someone once said that to a Guy, a girl can be either ‘The Friend’, ‘The Freak’ or ‘The Forever’….the ‘Main Squeeze’ is ‘The Forever’.
She is the one who all the others in his harem know is the No. 1, and accepts the fact that they ALL come in after her in his order of Commitment.
She is the one who has the liver to display his name or picture on her Blackberry Profile, and do all those other things that the others would never dare.
She is the one who may know that her guy sees other people, but either chooses to remain in denial or is content with the knowledge that she tops the Food Chain.
The ‘Main Squeeze’ ironically, has the least inclination about who her guy really is. She may know a side of him, the part he reserves for her, but the totality of his personality, she does not know.
The guy has all these other chics on the side, and has experiences with them, which in one way or the other shape his perspectives, decisions and personality. Yet does the ‘Main Squeeze’ share in these experiences?!
Of course not! How can you claim to know a man you are with when you are completely unaware of what he does when he is away from you?!
First and foremost, the term ‘Main Squeeze’, emphasis being made on MAIN, implies that there are others and you are the MAIN.
I laugh at the ridiculousness of what our society has conditioned us women to accept. I completely reject for myself the idea of being someone’s ‘Main Squeeze’.
The term in itself, is actually degrading and insulting to me!! So in all that I’ve learned and experienced in my life, I’d actually go and reduce myself to being someone’s ‘Main Squeeze’?!
I have been a ‘Side Chick’ as I shared with you, and I learned a lot from that experience. It was wrong for me to be in that position, however, I believe I have made restitution for that action and can now expect to be with a Man who respects me enough to honor our relationship with his faithfulness.
I reject the idea because I know what I am worth. I know that I am priceless and am aware of ALL that I can offer to the Man who I accept to be my King.
If I’m with a Man, I will give him ALL of me. My heart, my body, my head, my adoration, my intellect, my skills, my knowledge, my wisdom, my strength, my loyalty, my faithfulness…EVERYTHING.
So why on earth and in heaven, should I accept anything less from him?!
You might ask, but Tari, it’s possible to give a guy EVERYTHING and he still messes around with other people?!
I agree. People make mistakes. A guy I’m with can make a mistake, and I wouldn’t hesitate to forgive him. But when that ‘mistake’ becomes a lifestyle, then it’s simply Piss-taking!!!
It is at that point that I believe an action needs to be taken, because contrary to all we have been made to believe, NOT ALL MEN ARE UNFAITHFUL!!!
I can say this confidently because I have male friends who are in relationships, and I see the way they honor their women. They don’t gamble with the woman they love at all!! I’ve also seen them literally RUN away when they are being tempted to see other people, because they have decided within themselves to be committed to ONE woman.
We women need to begin to invest a lot in ourselves. Not just physically, but also intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. When we do, and then have firsthand knowledge of our own value, we would then begin to attract only those men who are worthy of having us in their lives.
I believe a lot of women accept the rubbish that guys give, because we do not value ourselves. If you know in your heart the quality of Woman you are, and the great value you can bring to a Man’s life, you will NOT condescend to allowing yourself to be anyone’s ‘Main Squeeze’.
It drives me crazy that a guy can even believe that you should be satisfied in the knowledge that he wants to marry you, so he is free to go ahead and do anything he wants. I’d rather be Single and have my RESPECT intact than be married (or in a relationship) to someone who’ll consistently make our marriage an object of Ridicule.
A man, who truly respects and values his woman, will do absolutely nothing that will even slightly jeopardize their relationship, whether she will find out or not.
Most Men will NOT accept cheating from their women, so why have we allowed them believe that it’s okay for them to do it and get away with it.
If you are alright and satisfied being a ‘Main Squeeze’, then good for you. I pray God gives you the strength to handle whatever challenges come your way. If you are a married ‘Main Squeeze’, I sympathize with you, and pray that the strength of your character will shine brightly, so that he realizes that he cannot afford to take chances with you.
As for me, I have neither the mind, power nor technical know-how to be anybody’s ‘Main Squeeze’.
Every woman is a potential Queen in her own right; treat yourself and behave like one, and then no man would have the guts to come and offer you anything less than the place of a Queen in his life.
It took me going through particular ranks of the Food Chain to realize this, but I’ve learned the truth now and there is no compromising anymore for me.
Let’s shed the Labels….Girls, they’ve gone way too out of fashion for us!!
Tari’s blog is www.tariere.blogspot.com OR follow TariEkiyor on Twitter