Stench of Truth

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I had a conversation last week with a friend; she was wailing and complaining that she caught her boyfriend in a lie and that she didn’t want to be in a relationship full of lies. Sister, I hear you!!!.

But then she says “I ALWAYS want people to be upfront with me and tell me the truth regardless” Errr, Always? really? This was coming from a babe who at the moment in question, had on the worst type of weave known to man. Both in texture and color, it looked like she just pinned some furry animal atop her head and it could leap off on its own accord at any moment. Did her clamor for truth extend to me telling her that she looked worse than a “pension-starved prostitute” using Tari’s words (tariere.blogspot.com).

Really, just how much truth can we as humans subject ourselves to? Sometimes, over-telling can be as bad as not telling. Now don’t get me wrong, I believe trust should be the bedrock of any relationship but do I really want to be told the absolute truth at every turn? And should I return the favor?

Should I for instance tell that babe at work that her love for colorful and misshapen clothes makes her look like a circus clown reject?

What about that pretentious twit that tries too hard to impress?

Or the lady that comes round to take food orders at work, that her excessive use of black eye and lip-liner just make her look dirty, scruffy and evil. (Besides, why would anybody in their right state of mind use black lip liner?!?!?!)

Enter the White Lie, Protector of would-be bruised egos and hurt feelings, used to avoid offense and to calm ruffled feathers.

Would you believe that there are 21 different kinds of lies in Wikipedia?! From the Jocular lie to the Barefaced lie. Like seriously, is someone just sitting down somewhere and inventing different ways to justify his entry into the pearly gates. “St. Peter, com’on it wasn’t a lie actually, I was just being “economical with the truth”

So back to the question, how much truth can we take? Quite little, I find. We may go round touting all the virtues of truth-telling but we don’t want it dished straight-up and in our faces at every turn.

A little white lie here and there never hurt nobody.

Miss K

Miss K

An engineer by day, writer by night. I'm a bunch of contradictions. Both the liberal and the conservative; the silly child and the prim & proper lady. Welcome to the reflections of my cynical mind and open heart as I ponder living the gidi life, my adopted city. Viva la Las Gidi!!!

14 comments

  1. I love honesty and while i see what u mean, i think we can tell the truth without being mean. So for example you dont tell your co-worker she looks like a clown, you instead say i see how ur trying to show ur colourful personality but perhaps flourescent green and yellow are not the best colours for the work place. Think anybody can take the truth it just depends on how it is served.

    Good looking out x

  2. “(Besides, why would anybody in their right state of mind use black lip liner?!?!?!)”…I’ve asked myself this question often this month…and all I can say is,please tell them,its a sin to humanity to see that and keep quiet!

  3. yes the truth hurts but i think its a greater injustice to lie, by omission, on purpose whatever. Personally i think i’m not a child and i don’t need you to protect me so tell me the truth always and i’ll do the same.

  4. @ Mighty, i dont know if this happens to you o, but for me, wen im in “Truth Mode” i am liable to say the first things that come to mind, which doesnt exactly leave room for diplomacy… but seen.

  5. @Kay, the black lip liner na very serious issue. and its sad to see that some girls avnt got the memo on dt yet…. so i take it that u av being doing ur civic duty and settin them straight?

  6. Black eyeliner…that’s a classic n babes won’t learn. About telling the whole truth, believe me in as much as women believe in this “open-mindedness” we can’t deal with all the truth in a relationship. Its better to tell a lil white lie here or there for both the sanity of the woman and for the best of the relationship. The moment a guy errs n spill to his woman, she wud forgive but every single thing he does raises suspicion and that won’t make the relationship grow. So let’s face it, wen he wants to go n have “a guys night out” don’t start acting up and wondering what is up to since he confessed about something in the past. I go with the notion dat a lil white lie doesn’t hurt. Ladies can we honestly tell ur guy everything happening in your life? Search urself and seek wisdom from within. Thanks

  7. babe..WORD
    jst d oda day,tried talkn to my man bout his ‘wayward’ friend(guy engaged,he 2 lik woman bla bla)..tried 2 explain 2 him dat dis guy cud influence him with his ‘waywardness’!i mean cant he talk 2 him or somtn!u can imagine hw it turned out…truth hurts!

  8. @Miss K i feel u on that bet perhaps u give urself 2 mins to ‘rephrase’ in ur mind hehe i know it may not always work tho…:-)

    @Killz the answer to ur question is yes and some people are mature enough to handle the truth as the ‘white lie’ quickly becomes a ‘black lie’ if you like…the question is where do you draw the line? I think people should start the way u want to continue and that starting point is the truth…just my 2 cents x

  9. i stand for the truth anytime. i tink its d attitude u use wen saying d truth that maters. for d woman using black liner it wouldnt hurt if u tell her u tink a brown liner wuld suite her beta dan d balck.

  10. Being caught in a lie feels heavenly embarassing,but hey,you can’t sayd truth exactly d way it is at every turn,becos as crazy as it sounds the truth hurts sumtyms,a little white lie can always save a relationship every once in a while…..but all d same balance is d key!

  11. I agree totally with Mighty. I am all for telling the truth. At my former place of work, i said what i wanted to say and damned all consequences. Some people didn’t like it initially but later they came to respect it and the same goes for me when they told me my faults as well. So truth all the way oh!!!

  12. Miss k i think i would just go MIGHTY’s wisdom…It makes life easier and for you not to be seen as a critic or a judgmental folk…One day you would do something stupid too and would wish someone was kind enough to get the truth rephrased before been presented to u..
    I know you LOVE to SPEAK the truth..But you’ve got to SPEAK it in LOVE!

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