The memoirs of a slu…shhkid has been serving you for a while now…while some of you already know the score some of you would be newbees, so for you new converts here are the rules to read here. And for the regulars……get reading.
Pages from the past… So I took something out last week and I only did that because she asked me not to include “Our meeting’ in the memoirs but now I realize that I would like to see “more” of her, I am begging her to allow me share our story (Pls help me beg her o!)
Before I go ahead with “Pages from the past”, I would like to share some good news with you – 360nobs went live on the 1st of April 2010 and we’ve been working hard to bring you the best of stories, articles and everything good but you know what they say about impacting your society.
Last week Friday, I got talking with a young intelligent man and that resulted into an agreement to provide FREE ACADEMIC RESOURCES, FREE SCHOOL WEBSITES, FREE SCHOOL HELP TO BOTH NIGERIAN SCHOOLS AND ACADEMIC INSTITUTIONS COURTESY OF STUDENTS CIRCLE AND 360NOBS.COM. Check http://studentscircle.net/live/academic-resources/
This is something we are proud of and would definitely need your support.
Sunday August 15th, 2010
This was not a normal Sunday; it was “Shirls Sunday”. Like all I did was think of her and No, I didn’t have to miss her cos she was right there in my house playing ‘wife‘ and at some point when I felt like I was about to ask her to marry me, I tweeted “I need some distraction from Shirls”. I got some replies but only one person asked me to “follow” her so that she can DM me. I enlarged her avatar and what I saw was not bad at all. As a “Bad Guy” apologies to Beazy, I quickly followed. Waited for few minutes and her DM came in
Sent: 15 Aug 2010 13:29
L☺l!! Aint u a naughty one! Now what do u have against mainland babes? PIN ******** .am a mainlnd babe and trust me I aint bad! Waitin for ur add
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/***************
*I’m so sorry to also say this week that after I sent her the draft she asked me not to talk about her, so I had to take it out*
Wednesday August 18th, 2010
I was getting ready to go to work when my phone rang
Nobs : Ma, Good Morning!
Mom : I’m in Umuomaku
(Read about Umuomaku here : https://www.360nobs.com/2010/08/umuomaku-my-home-my-pride/)
Nobs : Cha told me
Mom: Erm I called you this early for something important.
Nobs : I’m listening ma
Mom : It’s about a grandchild
Nobs : Nke Onye (Whose?)
Mom : Nke gi ( Yours)
Nobs : Do we really have to talk about it now?
Mom : I decided to call because I don’t want to look like we are wasting Ada’s time.
Nobs : How?
Mom : I came in last night and she came to spend the night.
Nobs : erm okay
Mom : I just woke up and she had already prepared my breakfast.
Nobs : She’s hardworking.
Mom : Ika chena ika bu umuazi? (Do you still think you are still a kid?)
Nobs : I never said I was.I’m just not yet ready
Mom : So should I tell Ada to forget about you?
Nobs : Mba (No)
Mom : Then make up your mind or is there something wrong?
Nobs : Dika gini?( Like what?)
Mom: Ama’m (Do I know)
Nobs : I like Ada but I’m not yet sure if she’s the one.
Mom : I’ve not been introduced to anyone
Nobs : Erm there’s Shirls
Mom : Shiril nwa bu onye ebe? ( The Shiril is from where?)
Nobs: She’s Yoruba
Mom : Onye ofe nmanu?
Nobs : That does not matter
Mom : Says who?
Nobs : You want me to marry and you also want to decide who I’ll marry.
Mom : Well,maybe we should go ahead and tell Ada to forget about you since you have your Shirilu.
Nobs: Mma, I need like a bonding time with Ada to know if it will work or not.
Mom: But she suggested Ghana
Nobs: I know but we’ve not gone yet
Mom : Oge adiro zi (There’s no more time left)
Nobs : I’ll think about it and give you a call in the evening.
Mom : have a nice day at work.
I thought about the call for along while and even considered settling down with Ada and shutting down memoirs of a SLU…shhkid.
There’s just something about Ada that I need to know. Like her favorite music or colour. I need to meet the bigger her. Get her angry or something; try to make her smoke or even get her high to see if she would exhibit a different side of her.
I think my mother’s problem is African Magic. After watching movies where parents demand for grand children, she would be calling me early in the morning to demand for hers.
Thursday August 19th,2010
Some days are not just okay by any standard and Thursday was one of those days. Days like this are made okay by only one person-Slim
I was driving and chatting with Slim but I didn’t tell her that I was close to her office so I decided to pay her a surprise visit.
I stopped over her office and decided to BB her from the reception.
Nobs: Erm are you still at work
Nobs: I sent someone to you
Nobs: My dispatch
Nobs: This evening. He’s at your reception.
Slim: I’ll go see him
And then few minutes later she walked in looking so fly in a mini skirt that instantly took me back to the very first time we met in that reception lounge.
I wanted to hug her and hold tight but I didn’t want to give the receptionist something to talk about.
Slim: hey Nobs
Nobs: hey Slim
Nobs: Been a while
Slim: How have you been?
Nobs: same place you left me
Slim: I left you in good hands. Are you okay here or do you want us to go talk in the lounge?
Nobs: I’m good here.erm you know what? Let’s go to the lounge
She stood up and when I looked at her from behind there was a way the short skirt wrapped her behind and I just wanted to shout “F**k friendship, let’s get busy”.
I like Slim. Maybe I love Slim but I don’t know if asking her out will spoil the friendship we’ve got. I like when she paints her nail deep red. I like the sound she makes when she wants you to repeat yourself. She knows when I need a hug. I made her love Mariah Carey’s
& we made it our song. I used to make her play it like 10times or more in one night. I ‘extra cool-call’ her at night to talk about my life and my keles. I enjoyed asking her to leave twitter so that she can concentrate on her studies.
Slim is special to me and asking her out may spoil it.
Okay let’s do this, if you feel I should go ahead and ask Slim out, please say so in the comment box, if I get up to 300 yes comments, I would do just that.
Friday August 20th,2010
Stopped over at the Galleria to get popcorn and just as I was about to pay when my phone rang
Mom : Uzor’m
Nobs : Good evening,Ma
Mom : You didn’t call again
Mom : Anyway, are you home yet?
Nobs : No Ma
Mom : Ina eme travel? ( Are you travelling ?)
Nobs : Mba (no)
Mom : I’m sending Ada with foodstuff on Sunday
Nobs : But we have enough
Mom : Cha asked for some
Nobs: No problem
Mom: Maybe you’ll also use the opportunity to know her better like you said.
Nobs : Is that why she is coming?
Mom : Mba
Nobs : No problem, Ma
I paid for my popcorn, went downstairs to chill with O and A.We talked about different things and I went home afterwards.
Saturday August 21,2010
Went to Ikeja for a book launch and afterwards drove to VI to meet up with Umuigbo.We gisted about almost everything from Nri nwa di n’obi to Afrocandy.I’ve always thought that nothing can make me lose erection until I saw this videohttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gopqvWlT7Uc
Sunday August 22, 2010
My sister woke me and said she wanted to talk about memoirs
Cha : erm are you going to write today?
Nobs : Yup,why?
Cha : have you read the comments from last week?
Nobs : Yup
Cha : Why do you still want to write?
Nobs : because of MI and Tuface
Cha : How? What’s their business
Nobs : “Nobody”
Cha : What about it?
Nobs : I’ll include it on my memoirs
So here’s a song that I really like,please download it and listen to it
MI ft 2Face - Nobody.mp3 (4.0 MiB, 2,577 hits)
Got a call from IK for a party at Chima’s crib.The party was fun and ended up seeing a lot of Aba boys.
I heard my name from downstairs
Mohammed: Oga Noble
Nobs: What sir
Mohammed: You get visitor, make I bring am come up?
I opened the door and I saw a different woman …