MEMOIRS OF A SLU…SHHKID: WK15

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The memoirs of a slu…shhkid has been serving you for a while now…while some of you already know the score some of you would be newbees, so for you new converts here are the rules to read here. And for the regulars……get reading.

Pages from the past… So I took something out last week and I only did that because she asked me not to include “Our meeting’ in the memoirs but now I realize that I would like to see “more” of her, I am begging her to allow me share our story (Pls help me beg her o!)

Before I go ahead with “Pages from the past”, I would like to share some good news with you – 360nobs went live on the 1st of April 2010 and we’ve been working hard to bring you the best of stories, articles and everything good but you know what they say about impacting your society.

Last week Friday, I got talking with a young intelligent man and that resulted into an agreement to provide FREE ACADEMIC RESOURCES, FREE SCHOOL WEBSITES, FREE SCHOOL HELP TO BOTH NIGERIAN SCHOOLS AND ACADEMIC INSTITUTIONS COURTESY OF STUDENTS CIRCLE AND 360NOBS.COM. Check http://studentscircle.net/live/academic-resources/

This is something we are proud of and would definitely need your support.

Sunday August 15th, 2010

Dear Diary,

This was not a normal Sunday; it was “Shirls Sunday”. Like all I did was think of her and No, I didn’t have to miss her cos she was right there in my house playing ‘wife‘ and at some point when I felt like I was about to ask her to marry me, I tweeted “I need some distraction from Shirls”. I got some replies but only one person asked me to “follow” her so that she can DM me. I enlarged her avatar and what I saw was not bad at all. As a “Bad Guy” apologies to Beazy, I quickly followed. Waited for few minutes and her DM came in

From: @*******
Sent: 15 Aug 2010 13:29
L☺l!! Aint u a naughty one! Now what do u have against mainland babes? PIN
******** .am a mainlnd babe and trust me I aint bad! Waitin for ur add
sent via
On Twitter:
http://twitter.com/***************

*I’m so sorry to also say this week that after I sent her the draft she asked me not to talk about her, so I had to take it out*

Wednesday August 18th, 2010

Dear Diary,

7.20am

I was getting ready to go to work when my phone rang

Mom: Chibuzor

Nobs : Ma, Good Morning!

Mom : I’m in Umuomaku

(Read about Umuomaku here : https://www.360nobs.com/2010/08/umuomaku-my-home-my-pride/)

Nobs : Cha told me

Mom: Erm I called you this early for something important.

Nobs : I’m listening ma

Mom : It’s about a grandchild

Nobs : Nke Onye (Whose?)

Mom : Nke gi ( Yours)

Nobs : Do we really have to talk about it now?

Mom : I decided to call because I don’t want to look like we are wasting Ada’s time.

Nobs : How?

Mom : I came in last night  and she came to spend the night.

Nobs : erm okay

Mom : I just woke up and she had already prepared my breakfast.

Nobs : She’s hardworking.

Mom : Ika chena ika bu umuazi? (Do you still think you are still a kid?)

Nobs : I never said I was.I’m just not yet ready

Mom : So should I tell Ada to forget about you?

Nobs : Mba (No)

Mom : Then make up your mind or is there something wrong?

Nobs : Dika gini?( Like what?)

Mom: Ama’m (Do I know)

Nobs : I like Ada but I’m not yet sure if she’s the one.

Mom : I’ve not been introduced to anyone

Nobs : Erm there’s Shirls

Mom : Shiril nwa bu onye ebe? ( The Shiril is from where?)

Nobs: She’s Yoruba

Mom : Onye ofe nmanu?

Nobs : That does not matter

Mom : Says who?

Nobs : You want me to marry and you also want to decide who I’ll marry.

Mom : Well,maybe we should go ahead and tell Ada to forget about you since you have your Shirilu.

Nobs: Mma, I need like a bonding time with Ada to know if it will work or not.

Mom: But she suggested Ghana

Nobs: I know but we’ve not gone yet

Mom : Oge adiro zi (There’s no more time left)

Nobs :  I’ll think about it and give you a call in the evening.

Mom : have a nice day at work.

I thought about the call for along while and even considered settling down with Ada and shutting down memoirs of a SLU…shhkid.

There’s just something about Ada that I need to know. Like her favorite music or colour. I need to meet the bigger her. Get her angry or something; try to make her smoke or even get her high to see if she would exhibit a different side of her.

I think my mother’s problem is African Magic. After watching movies where parents demand for grand children, she would be calling me early in the morning to demand for hers.

Thursday August 19th,2010

Dear Diary,

6.48pm

Some days are not just okay by any standard and Thursday was one of those days. Days like this are made okay by only one person-Slim

I was driving and chatting with Slim but I didn’t tell her that I was close to her office so I decided to pay her a surprise visit.

I stopped over her office and decided to BB her from the reception.

Nobs: Erm are you still at work

Slim: Yup

Nobs: I sent someone to you

Slim: Who?

Nobs: My dispatch

Slim: When?

Nobs: This evening. He’s at your reception.

Slim: I’ll go see him

And then few minutes later she walked in looking so fly in a mini skirt that instantly took me back to the very first time we met in that reception lounge.

I wanted to hug her and hold tight but I didn’t want to give the receptionist something to talk about.

Slim: hey Nobs

Nobs: hey Slim

Nobs: Been a while

Slim: How have you been?

Nobs: same place you left me

Slim: I left you in good hands. Are you okay here or do you want us to go talk in the lounge?

Nobs: I’m good here.erm you know what? Let’s go to the lounge

She stood up and when I looked at her from behind there was a way the short skirt wrapped her behind and I just wanted to shout “F**k friendship, let’s get busy”.

I like Slim. Maybe I love Slim but I don’t know if asking her out will spoil the friendship we’ve got. I like when she paints her nail deep red. I like the sound she makes when she wants you to repeat yourself. She knows when I need a hug. I made her love Mariah Carey’s

I Want To Know What Love Is

& we made it our song. I used to make her play it like 10times or more in one night. I ‘extra cool-call’ her at night to talk about my life and my keles. I enjoyed asking her to leave twitter so that she can concentrate on her studies.

Slim is special to me and asking her out may spoil it.

Okay let’s do this, if you feel I should go ahead and ask Slim out, please say so in the comment box, if I get up to 300 yes comments, I would do just that.

Friday August 20th,2010

Dear Diary,

7.00pm

Stopped over at the Galleria to get popcorn and just as I was about to pay when my phone rang

Mom : Uzor’m

Nobs : Good evening,Ma

Mom : You didn’t call again

Mom : Anyway, are you home yet?

Nobs : No Ma

Mom : Ina eme travel? ( Are you travelling ?)

Nobs : Mba (no)

Mom : I’m sending Ada with foodstuff on Sunday

Nobs : But we have enough

Mom : Cha asked for some

Nobs: No problem

Mom: Maybe you’ll also use the opportunity to know her better like you said.

Nobs : Is that why she is coming?

Mom : Mba

Nobs : No problem, Ma

I paid for my popcorn, went downstairs to chill with O and A.We talked about different things and I went home afterwards.

Saturday August 21,2010

Dear Diary,

1.00pm

Went to Ikeja for a book launch and afterwards drove to VI to meet up with Umuigbo.We gisted about almost everything from Nri nwa di n’obi to Afrocandy.I’ve always thought that nothing can make me lose erection until I saw this video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gopqvWlT7Uc

Sunday August 22, 2010

Dear Diary,

9:00am

My sister woke me and said she wanted to talk about memoirs

Cha : erm are you going to write today?

Nobs : Yup,why?

Cha : have you read the comments from last week?

Nobs : Yup

Cha : Why do you still want to write?

Nobs : because of MI and Tuface

Cha : How? What’s their business

Nobs : “Nobody”

Cha : What about it?

Nobs : I’ll include it on my memoirs

So here’s a song that I really like,please download it and listen to it

  MI ft 2Face - Nobody.mp3 (4.0 MiB, 2,577 hits)

5.00pm

Got a call from IK for a party at Chima’s crib.The party was fun and ended up seeing a lot of Aba boys.

7.30pm

I heard my name from downstairs

Mohammed: Oga Noble

Nobs: What sir

Mohammed: You get visitor, make I bring am come up?

Nobs: yes

I opened the door and I saw a different woman …

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!

50 comments

  1. I’m a fan of shirls bt I rily think u shld ask slim out on a date. Who knws,kuld turn out 2 be d best thing eva! Thursday was like my worst day n I wish I had more friends like slim 2 make it al beta.

  2. Mayb u shld try n take it to anoda level wif slim….try n kiss her or sumfn…askin her on a date myt b too formal n might make u guys stiff…uncertain…

  3. is that girl for real….she cant even sing

    by the way, i dont think you should ask slim out….you might be having this wide imagination for her because you have not scored her but yet i might be wrong..but ithink she likes you as a friend dont ruin it . except you see a proper green light..

    good night

  4. This is the driest memoirs ever! Hope all u haters are happy, nobs has gone all dry on us! Y did I even bother? Bin waititn for this since 8.30 am… Only to read this BS?!! *yawn*

  5. Oh damn…..tell me its Ada….I love her but as u said…you need to see her in action…lol…..beautiful write up….big fan….

  6. why is this weeks memoir so dry????nobs wats happening now nd suspense???nice…but really this week is dry ooo…abeg beta do interesting stuffs diz week k? did i read ‘close down’ hell no…

  7. Dnt ask Slim out, She might hate you afterwards.. and seriously your abrupt end. like seriously this is not Rosie’s diary..

  8. Just because u got blasted last week doesn’t mean u have to conform, ok?
    Oh, & take ur eyes off Slim.
    Not a good idea. I’m talking from xperience.
    D best relationship which turned out 2 be my worst relationship, was with a good friend.
    Have a great week

  9. Nobs o! Is it that u dint have time… This week na disaster as 2 ur skillz. It is dry! Who steal ur ginger?? Abeg dude get a grip! Hope next weeks berra!

  10. I mean writing skillz o! You shouldn’t have posted this week edition.. Its crappy. Redefine ur self( spend more time with you) den creativity pops! Deres aways a 2nd chance! Hope nextweek will be berra! Hola

  11. Mr noble as much as I see u as a hero pls don’t go for slim..u will destroy everythng..let her b d one u run to for comfort…abeg ada shld park well jor..for some reason I don’t lyk her…give shirliru a chance abeg..d ting u r looking for in sokoto mite just b in ur soko to…

  12. Hey nobz, glad u doing something good for education, that is impressive. Didn’t like the yabis last week and am glad u re adding a new touch, it might be boring for now and new to us by you but trust me its better dan getting tongue lashed by people and everyone being in ur buiz,I think ur nice and don’t deserve those yabis most especially after u told me about LIFE and it showed me a deeper side of u…@ls easy on da female yabbies and pls let the blog be fun…if they don’t get laid whose fault def not urs or mine……but no dissing…am proud of u noble…..big hug..lol

  13. aayah noble, this week must have been crappy for real.
    i love that you and slim have a cool relationship, but do you think she will want to go out with you after knowing ALL your escapades?

    i think you should keep her as a friend.

  14. Hmm noble,,,I must commend u on d education thingy! Good stuff! Very dry write up though, seems u r begining to see things differently.but hey don’t loose ur spice ok,just do wat u got to do.No more dissing from me xxx u r a good writer afterall.

  15. abeg leave ada alone, you know you’ll be bored with her..there’s something to be said about hooking up with someone with the same level of exposure as you….

  16. “onye ofe nmanu”…..lol that made me laugh. Dude i cnt believe i’ve been waiting all week 4 dis…..nna u no try ooo

  17. pls where in this thingy did he say anything abt his school?? did i miss a line or 2?

    Ikebe na moni! lol.. why did that make yu lose yur erection?? did yu have one while yu were chatting with yur hommies?? GROSS<<<<

  18. I think u should leave things d way dey are wiv slim… Don’t complicate ur beautiful friendship… 4get haters, I need u 2 be urself, regardless of what people say or think… Just knw dat u hv a lot of fans, and we need d former noble back…

  19. see as haters be…cuz this one was kinda off y’all wanna crucify Nobs??? abeg no mind them jare….looking forward to next week!

  20. Jeesz abeg i want my 7 minutes back. Ha oginni… Is it because of what those people said last week that you decided to go boring on us. Hmmmm You just dey f*ck up allowing those idiot to put fear in you and now they ll think they won/suceeded. Anyways if it’s the same next week, i might as well find another blog to start reading.

  21. he hasn’t gone dry pple. some weeks r more fun dan others. ah ah haters everywer. noble u shld totally ask slim out.cheers

  22. well i av been a follower of this story….i ink that if you ask slim out you would spoil the friendship…..you would one day get tired and start chasing a new kele but if you dont ask her out then you would be best friends for life(bffl)

  23. nobs……………….it seems as if ur losing it o,i ignored wifey so i could read ur blog only for u to go all limp on us…abeg….better spice things up next.

  24. LOL! Nobs did u develop cold feet or what????
    why are u making my part a cliff hanger
    I said it was OK for u to write about my coming to urs in ur memoirs
    i was so looking forward to what ur version of the events would be.
    Hmmmm i thought u and slim were over as u hadnt been talking about her much. Anyways WHATEVER

  25. @beeyolahhhh……DONT HATE….it is the only way the game can be played….@nobs…..boss sha but your blog this week was kind of boring o

  26. Kinda boring tho,buh ur a gud writer all d same!dude,as for slim,u gasta tap that ass!forgeeet!!she might want the same buh she wants u 2 take the lead.you don’t xpect her 2 toast u naa!guy wake up oh!

    1. So much for a good cliff hanger lol
      I think u should give shirls a chance, fashy slim…she’s just a friend thts how it should remain

  27. U’re right Hegzy,even superheroes have their off days.Talking about Afrocandy Nobs I no fit shout…lmyo! Srsly all these pple complaining abt how dry ur post is,won’t they be d same ones to complain if u start adding fiction to ur memoirs just to please them. a memoir is a record of ur experiences,so nwanne write it as it comes.
    I suggest u stick to Shirls,all u need do is gather enough courage to give Ada “the speech”….and as for Slim,do not even think of risking that wonderful thing u guys have…there are keles everywhere remember.I wish u a better week this time*hugs*
    Lmao at “ofe mmanu” and “nri nwa” btw!

  28. Just assuming this isn’t some dude’s fantasy;
    Flirt with Slim, If she flows, ask her out.If not laugh it off and just say you were joking.

  29. this memoirs is really intresting…nobs u’ve got style oo nice writing btw… ur escapades sure r nauri but who cares!!!!! just read and laugh

  30. Memoirs of s slu…shhkid i believe is ALL about you. Whoeva relates with u in anyway shuld kno ther is a possibility they might come uo in ur entries, i thnk u have done them justcie by changing theri names and frankly i think thats all u owe them. If they have a problem with the entries they shuldnt read it instead of either bad mouthing u in comments or making u exclude them from entries. Ur doing a good job. i thnk u shuld stop only wen YOU want to and not cos of anyone. Take slim out but just let the night flow dont overdo or underdo u guys seem to kno each other well enuf to seize any opportunities that might manifest thru the date. Also get to kno Ada, u neva kno……..plus there was absolutely nun wrong wif ur entry it was just as u felt it and thats what its supposed to be. Enjoy.

  31. Its called a memoirs people. Nobs don’t spoil what you have with slim except she feels that way,you’re a guy…you’ll know. And as for Ada & Shirls make up your mind,you’re no longer a child. And its your decision to make.

  32. lol hahahahahhahhah NOBEL IGWE. boring read,lack of ideas i have read them all.lesson learnt i hope naaaaaa u r too sleazzy .it called a writers block lol now next week should be funny. look for another babe in iyana paja and bring her to galleria for popcorn so we can get entertained at least she no get internet , she no go UNEC and she no be islang girl lol.wink

  33. @Another irritated reader

    i want you to read your comment again….guess what???? You are the biggest “FOOL” on earth..you just confirmed it!!!

  34. I need to come up with new and interesting stories regularly so people will notice me & not forget about my blog. Though some of the stories are made up & pure fiction, there are people who totally believe them which is the important thing cos the aim of this blog is popularity and money….lol.

    I never learnt to respect women so I dont want anyone telling me to respect them cos they are all the same & I can sleep with any one of them; slim, shirls, ada, biola, ivory….anyone i want, anytime……girls, always willing……

    more free women…..more…..more (pls the younger the better, no old keles abeg….16yrs-25yrs only….sweet…)
    you can call me pervert, anything you want….I dont care….

  35. I need to come up with new and interesting stories regularly so people will notice me & not forget about my blog. Though most of the stories are made up & pure fiction, there are people who totally believe them which is the important thing cos the aim of this blog is popularity and money….lol.

    I never learnt to respect women so I dont want anyone telling me to respect them cos they are all the same & I can sleep with any one of them; slim, shirls, ada, biola, ivory….anyone i want, anytime……girls, always willing……

    more free women…..more…..more (pls the younger the better, no old keles abeg….16yrs-25yrs only….sweet…)
    you can call me pervert, anything you want….I dont care….

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