Lies are like children. They are hard work, but are worth it because the future depends on them.
Enter the white lies: These are lies we tell to make others feel better. Once, I was at a friend’s do when this celebrity arrived. From the moment she stepped through the door, I could see the ‘I’m all that’ tattooed across her forehead, and could smell the ‘eau de superstar’ coming off her in waves. Problem was, nobody seemed to recognise her and she just stood there looking so lost. I was torn between feigning non-recognition and actually indulging her. I was too plastered to be the usual me, so I chose the latter and let her know ‘I was a huge fan’.
“I don’t know which of your movies I enjoyed most”, I said as I reeled off a number of movie titles. I could almost hear her skin stretch as she swelled with pride! As she looked this way and that – ostensibly to see who else recognised her – I fawned on her some more and she gushed and preened. She seemed to have spotted someone, because she abruptly turned and walked away. Whew! Two more minutes and I would have made myself sick.
Then come rationalizations: These are the lies we tell to make ourselves feel better. Just the other day I was on a flight to PortHarcourt that had been delayed three hours. In-flight it got fairly turbulent, and looking out the windows you could see really dark and thick storm clouds stretching for miles. We had missed the storm by about 30minutes; I took pleasure in pointing the clouds out to passengers in business class. “Although it’s no excuse that is the storm we would have encountered had we left Lagos earlier.” Truth is, if we had left on time we would have been back in Lagos before the storm hit, but who thinks of that fact at a time like that?
Best of all are lies of omission: These are truths we do not tell to make everyone feel better. ‘You don come again o!’ I am sure you are your thoughts. But ladies, how many times have you NOT told that guy spending his hard earned cash on you that you do not like his breath? Or his personal hygiene? Or that you are promised to some other guy in Europe, or some other place? And guys, how many times have you conveniently forgotten to tell that ABP(Able Bodied Phemale) that you are married with kids at home? And when she asks if you are married, you deflect by saying you have kids, but never answer the ‘are you married’ question?
So the next time you hear an obvious lie, before you judge remember that lying is not always a failure of courage, or a lack of morals. Sometimes lying can be an act of kindness. And if you believed any of that, then you have just bought the biggest LIE of all!