I get a lot of requests from my readers, about subjects to write about. They are mostly very interesting and relevant topics, which I try never to shy away from. However, when someone asked me, based on a statement I made in one of my articles, to write about how to ‘ARREST’ a guy, my liver failed me small.
The statement I made was in my ‘Friendship Between the Sheets’ article, where I said I felt sorry for any guy who tried to get with me as a FWB, “…when I arrest him with my lovings”.
Little did I know that I was asking for trouble when I said that. Nevertheless, here I am heeding the request.
The first thing you need to know in your mission to ‘arrest’ a guy with your lovings, is that you do not need a Warrant.
You do not need any long drawn-out process of authorization to gain access into his heart and make away with his freedom to sow his wild oats amongst the womenfolk.
Most importantly, ‘arresting’ a guy with your lovings DOES NOT involve any form of manipulation; emotional, psychological or spiritual.
God gave us ALL a free-will, so He does not answer prayers that demand of Him to MAKE someone love you. They either love you or they don’t. So if you have been praying for one guy or one chic to fall hopelessly in love with you, even if it seems like the prayer is being answered, know now that it’s possibly not God answering that prayer ooo!!
Alright I just felt the need to be clear on those things before we proceed into the main sturvs.
So you meet a guy, and you find yourself immensely drawn to this person. It may be his smile, his walk, his dominant personality, his success; the fact that he’s a Gentleman, or whatever it is that attracts you in the first place.
You immediately know on some level within yourself that you want to be with this person. Problem is you have no clue as to whether or not he feels the same way. There is only one way to find out, and that’s by Interaction.
I personally have no problem walking over to a guy I find attractive in a club, bar, restaurant or wherever our paths cross, to introduce myself to him. As long as he’s alone, has no wedding band on his hand, I think I have free reign to go over and at least make my presence known to him.
Depending on the guy, the response you’d get will vary. About two weeks ago at Marquee, I did this and got two very distinct responses from both guys I met.
I noticed the first one from the opposite end of the balcony where we were. You couldn’t miss him; he was tall; I’m talking like Lebron James and co. kind of tall. He was now very light-skinned, nicely built and just basically had one very confident P about him.
I was right in the middle of a conversation with my friend when I first saw him; my words hung mid-sentence, and like a zombie, I found myself gliding over to where he was holding court. Him and his boys stopped talking as we approached (my friend refused to be a Slacker and came over also), and I introduced myself and my friend to him, confessing to him that we saw him from across the room and came over to introduce ourselves.
Chai…the dude was even more like one kind of timeless Greek statue in close proximity. I shamelessly looked UP at him the entire time…I couldn’t hide my awe at such an exquisite piece of Man.
Then much to my dismay, the spell was soon broken. Guy showed himself in ALL his Ass-holic glory!! As soon as he heard that we had come because of him, one very dirty swagger manifested itself and he began saying something in the range of…
*licking his lips and rubbing his hands together* “…you ladies shouldn’t leave without dropping your numbers….”
I didn’t even wait to hear the last bit, as I pulled my friend away and walked inside, leaving him staring blankly. I was so pissed off, what a waste of fine Man!! Beautiful body, shitty character…wetin I wan take dat one do?!!
So we walked in, and not even up to a few seconds later, were confronted by another glorious sight!! The zombies took over again, and we found ourselves once again introducing ourselves. This particular one was not as tall, but had very nicely chiseled features, and I liked the fact that he and his friend were just by themselves in a corner, all dignified and sheeett!!
My ever trusted Man-locating antennae didn’t fail to pick them out even in their corner. His friend was cute also, and they were both very respectful. They seemed quite impressed at the fact that we actually came over to introduce ourselves, and we all spoke very nicely to each other.
As we made to leave, they didn’t even attempt to collect our numbers, which in my opinion, is the polite thing to do, given the short time in which we had met. So I took the initiative and gave the one I liked my card.
Now you might wonder, wasn’t that a little forward Tari?!
My answer to that is NO. I actually feel comfortable doing that because of something I have noticed about myself.
All my life, I have found that I gravitate toward a guy because I feel as though he wants me, or is attracted to me. That usually fed my desire for attention and affirmation, and eventually put me in situations in which I constantly needed that attention and affirmation from a guy, to feel relevant.
So at this point of my life, I’m breaking that cycle, by changing the dynamic. I would rather take ONE step to set things in motion with a guy I’m interested in, than sit down and wait for him to WANT me first. Then if for some reason, he doesn’t seem to WANT me, I then begin to feel less than myself?
So I’m taking charge of things and going for what I want in a man, rather than hoping for the day I become what some guy wants in a woman.
Now note my earlier emphasis on ONE step. Going to introduce myself to a guy, or giving my card, is about as far as I would go. Anything beyond that, I believe is pushing the envelope and can inspire the guy to want to take the piss.
The guy I gave my card to at Marquee has not called me, but guess what? IT’s OKAY!!
That way, I know he’s not interested in me that way, and the next time I see him, we will be nice and friendly toward each other, with me at peace with the fact that I have not compromised anything.
So I guess, the summary of all this, is my proposed first step if you wish to ‘Arrest’ a guy:
BE IN CHARGE; TAKE THE INITIATIVE.
To be continued…
Tari’s blog is www.tariere.blogspot.com; you can also follow TariEkiyor on Twitter