I am going to be somewhat controversial here. Once upon a time I listened to the Mo Hits All Stars album “Curriculum Vitae” and danced to (almost) all the songs, and was swept away by D’Banj’s general braggadocio and Wande Coal’s voice performing vocal acrobatics. I loved these songs. I enjoyed them. Fast-forward three years and now we have D’Prince launching a rap career.
Is this not the same D’Prince that left me scarred with his lyrical showcase on the C.V album with gems like:
I’m in a Range Rove/You in the same clothes/I’m in the limelight so I gotta change clothes
Meanwhile all your girls be looking like “There he go”/He trying to walk over H20/I stay fresh to death/She could see it herself/I stay fresh for real/Now I’m proud of myself/You know D’Prince’s wealth/Stop deceiving yourself/Mamarazzi, trying to camera phone D’Prince
I thought the whole idea of being in a group was hiding the “scoin scoin” of the weaker members? I’ll admit that maybe hiding flaws is not the whole idea of being in a group but despite our best efforts, every group seems to have a weak link. It would be naïve to deny this. Sit down, friends and let us reason together. Let us admit that D’Prince has always been the weakest link. Dig out your Curriculum Vitae albums and listen again. Don Jazzy (The beat maestro of Mo Hits) is the only reason why D’Prince has a semi-career. I am not saying this to be malicious. I have thought long and hard about this. I have listened… and here is why D’Prince should be issued a restraining order barring him from any recording studio. It is only fair that I judge him using his lyrics, so here goes:
Basically he just says the same few lines twice and BANG he has a hit song.
You not efficient/You lack experience/I get experience/Show your obedience/Don Jazzy for President. D’Banj for Governor, I am the Lieutenant… Wande is the KWO-MO-DORE … Blah blah/Mo Hits is the parliament… Blah Blah
And we get to the endless cries of “Who Am I? Who Am I?” Before revealing to us that he is OMOBA! Is that it, really?
Do you really want us to tell you who you are, D’Prince? It won’t be pretty. It won’t be nice.
“PRINCE! /I dey earn money/Then I invest money/I disrespect money/You dey expect money/Take take take take take/’cos I get money
Na me get the swag you dey try to swag right”
I’m sorry what? Not even Wande Coal could save this song. This is not to mention the fact he said “Take” FIVE TIMES! On “Ten Ten” (Which was on Wande Coal’s album) he used that same tactic:
I’m in need of a princess and I think its you/Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm hmm Hmm!
I am yet to see a rapper that needs to say a word more than twice for emphasis (except D’Prince of course).
“I like what I see”:
Slicker than average/I’m thinking about marriage/And package my point zero zero zero mileage/We blend like minced meat & porridge
I’m capable/You can be my princess/That’s the esscence/Make love and make sense/It’s priceless/See the ice on my chest/Make you go cold when I hug on your breast
What, is rap throwing a random bunch of words together in the hope that they rhyme?
The overwhelming majority of D’Prince’s lyrics are appalling. Come on people. We have come farther than this. It is either D’Prince acquires the services of a ghostwriter, but I’ll have to admit even with one of those I won’t be falling over to buy his album. D’Prince is the “last-born of the family” in more ways than one.
Jim Iyke. Jimmy boy … where do I start? First of all I will tell you that I was never a fan of Jimmy boy’s acting. It became tiresome to watch the same old storyline (The dude who just came back from the States *Yawn*) not to mention that atrocious accent. All that makes for a bad combination ordinarily… but when I heard that he wanted to get into the music business I literally groaned. He even managed to get 2face on board for this first single (which I congratulate him for, 2face must have been bedazzled by some strong juju) but the result was a song that had me giggling and feeling sad at the same time. Give it up Jim. I don’t even know who is worse between you and D’Prince. In the same manner of my assessment of D’Prince, here are some lyrics for you, beginning with the laughable intro to “Born to Do This:
Sceptics were born to doubt this/Critics were born to break this/Cynics were born to diss this/Chicks were born to love this
Where do you think I fall here? I’ll go for critic. Swiftly moving on…
Jimmy boy gives us classic lines like this:
Sweat running down my back/Reminding me that I’m in the zone/Press boys are singing my name/You can’t kill my heat, I shine like the sun
That might have sounded good. Let’s try another one:
Haters know I’ll never be broke/You’re looking at the maestro that stole the show/Love it or hate it/You can take it or leave it/Get my swag on/Now I’m the man
And from “Who Am I”:
I’m the prediction/I’m the contradiction/I’m the Ivy College/I’m the street corner/I’m the general/*unintelligible English*
I think I deserve an award for hearing half of what Jim Iyke was saying. He was near on incomprehensible at some points (Not to mention his accent which is a quasi-Nigerian-American mix). I apologise for not being able to give you more lines. I did try. To Jim Iyke I will say:
Give it up Jim. You still have people that love you in films (I am yet to meet one but I know they are out there!) I know that we all have to find ways to supplement our ordinary incomes but maybe, just maybe music is not for you. Our IQs will thank you for it.
To my readers, I can imagine what some of you might say. Well “Omoba is one of the hottest songs in Nigeria!” or “But they are trying” & there might be a few random cries of “Hater!” but that will be another story for another day. There will come a time that you will stop gyrating to the beats and realise that you are listening to gibberish. For some, the realisation may never come. But one thing I will not do is encourage people that really should not be in the business of music because they are murdering something that I love.
Nigerian music is moving onwards and upwards and the ones that cannot pull their weight will be left behind.
Peace, Love & AfroCandy