WAKE-UP CALL

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I am going to be somewhat controversial here. Once upon a time I listened to the Mo Hits All Stars album “Curriculum Vitae” and danced to (almost) all the songs, and was swept away by D’Banj’s general braggadocio and Wande Coal’s voice performing vocal acrobatics. I loved these songs. I enjoyed them. Fast-forward three years and now we have D’Prince launching a rap career.

PAUSE.

Is this not the same D’Prince that left me scarred with his lyrical showcase on the C.V album with gems like:

I’m in a Range Rove/You in the same clothes/I’m in the limelight so I gotta change clothes

Meanwhile all your girls be looking like “There he go”/He trying to walk over H20/I stay fresh to death/She could see it herself/I stay fresh for real/Now I’m proud of myself/You know D’Prince’s wealth/Stop deceiving yourself/Mamarazzi, trying to camera phone D’Prince

I thought the whole idea of being in a group was hiding the “scoin scoin” of the weaker members? I’ll admit that maybe hiding flaws is not the whole idea of being in a group but despite our best efforts, every group seems to have a weak link. It would be naïve to deny this. Sit down, friends and let us reason together. Let us admit that D’Prince has always been the weakest link. Dig out your Curriculum Vitae albums and listen again. Don Jazzy (The beat maestro of Mo Hits) is the only reason why D’Prince has a semi-career. I am not saying this to be malicious. I have thought long and hard about this. I have listened… and here is why D’Prince should be issued a restraining order barring him from any recording studio. It is only fair that I judge him using his lyrics, so here goes:

“Omoba”
Basically he just says the same few lines twice and BANG he has a hit song.

You not efficient/You lack experience/I get experience/Show your obedience/Don Jazzy for President. D’Banj for Governor, I am the Lieutenant… Wande is the KWO-MO-DORE … Blah blah/Mo Hits is the parliament… Blah Blah

And we get to the endless cries of “Who Am I? Who Am I?”  Before revealing to us that he is OMOBA! Is that it, really?
Do you really want us to tell you who you are, D’Prince? It won’t be pretty. It won’t be nice.

“Ooze”

“PRINCE! /I dey earn money/Then I invest money/I disrespect money/You dey expect money/Take take take take take/’cos I get money
Na me get the swag you dey try to swag right”

I’m sorry what? Not even Wande Coal could save this song. This is not to mention the fact he said “Take” FIVE TIMES! On “Ten Ten” (Which was on Wande Coal’s album) he used that same tactic:

I’m in need of a princess and I think its you/Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm Hmm hmm Hmm!

BLANK STARE

I am yet to see a rapper that needs to say a word more than twice for emphasis (except D’Prince of course).

“I like what I see”:

Slicker than average/I’m thinking about marriage/And package my point zero zero zero mileage/We blend like minced meat & porridge

I’m capable/You can be my princess/That’s the esscence/Make love and make sense/It’s priceless/See the ice on my chest/Make you go cold when I hug on your breast

What, is rap throwing a random bunch of words together in the hope that they rhyme?
The overwhelming majority of D’Prince’s lyrics are appalling. Come on people. We have come farther than this.  It is either D’Prince acquires the services of a ghostwriter, but I’ll have to admit even with one of those I won’t be falling over to buy his album. D’Prince is the “last-born of the family” in more ways than one.

JIM IYKE
Jim Iyke. Jimmy boy … where do I start? First of all I will tell you that I was never a fan of Jimmy boy’s acting. It became tiresome to watch the same old storyline (The dude who just came back from the States *Yawn*) not to mention that atrocious accent. All that makes for a bad combination ordinarily… but when I heard that he wanted to get into the music business I literally groaned. He even managed to get 2face on board for this first single (which I congratulate him for, 2face must have been bedazzled by some strong juju) but the result was a song that had me giggling and feeling sad at the same time. Give it up Jim. I don’t even know who is worse between you and D’Prince. In the same manner of my assessment of D’Prince, here are some lyrics for you, beginning with the laughable intro to “Born to Do This:

Sceptics were born to doubt this/Critics were born to break this/Cynics were born to diss this/Chicks were born to love this

Where do you think I fall here? I’ll go for critic. Swiftly moving on…

Jimmy boy gives us classic lines like this:
Sweat running down my back/Reminding me that I’m in the zone/Press boys are singing my name/You can’t kill my heat, I shine like the sun

That might have sounded good. Let’s try another one:

Haters know I’ll never be broke/You’re looking at the maestro that stole the show/Love it or hate it/You can take it or leave it/Get my swag on/Now I’m the man

And from “Who Am I”:
I’m the prediction/I’m the contradiction/I’m the Ivy College/I’m the street corner/I’m the general/*unintelligible English*

PAUSE

I think I deserve an award for hearing half of what Jim Iyke was saying. He was near on incomprehensible at some points (Not to mention his accent which is a quasi-Nigerian-American mix). I apologise for not being able to give you more lines. I did try.  To Jim Iyke I will say:

Give it up Jim. You still have people that love you in films (I am yet to meet one but I know they are out there!) I know that we all have to find ways to supplement our ordinary incomes but maybe, just maybe music is not for you. Our IQs will thank you for it.

To my readers, I can imagine what some of you might say. Well “Omoba is one of the hottest songs in Nigeria!” or “But they are trying” & there might be a few random cries of “Hater!” but that will be another story for another day. There will come a time that you will stop gyrating to the beats and realise that you are listening to gibberish. For some, the realisation may never come.  But one thing I will not do is encourage people that really should not be in the business of music because they are murdering something that I love.

Nigerian music is moving onwards and upwards and the ones that cannot pull their weight will be left behind.

Peace, Love & AfroCandy
X

AfroCandy

AfroCandy

An opinionated pop culture extraordinaire that you will always find engaging in fast & furious banter - She has gained a reputation as a harsh critic, but always tries to issue her verdict with humour (Although she doesn’t always succeed).

16 comments

  1. LMFAO!!!! You hit the nail right on the head jo. ON POINT!! I LOVED it completely. Whenever I dance(being the operative word) to omoba, I only think of Don Jazzy never D’Prince prb cos I NEVER listen to the song. Lyrical rubbish!!! I have never been unfortunate enough to hear a Jim Iyke song prb cos I’ll just get upset and blog about it. My bro has told me enough to make me spare my ears the torture. More people should write stuff like this instead of ass kissing everywhere ahn ahn!!! Chop knuckle jo. U might want to tackle *cough* pussycat by Jargo *cough* next. I’d luv to read an unbiased review of this song. Infact pls can u do the whole album?? *silly grin*

  2. LOLZ, reading this got me in stitches. But, u gotta give it up for Don Jazzy, dude had to give his little brother a day job na. Abi? When I’m gyrating to the beat in in the club, i always block those damn lyrics out. Damn you, AfroCandy, for bringing me back to reality. They really are wack lyrics. I shall not talk about Jim Iyke. Full stop! Are you, by any chance, going to critique “Ikebe na money” by @DRealAfroCandy? LOLZ. Nice post!

  3. Hahahahaha…i love you joo. I like Omooba- because of the beat and its all thanks to don jazzy. A lot of Nigerian songs don’t make sense, but the beats keeps you moving to them.

    As for Jim Iyke….. that’s all i have to say.

    This is a good post…very on point. Kudos.

  4. On point, great critique! Me thinks everyone who has ever listened 2 just 1 or 2 songs 4rm D’prince’s album wld agree on the same thing: ‘…thank God 4 DonJazzy.. Atleast we can dance.’
    As 4 Jim Iyke.. Give it up, Jimmy! We r still manage ur nollywoodity!! ..or gan join Mo’hits. DonJazzy might make something out of u, yet… 😀

  5. Heweeee “i was born to do diiiiis” JAMMM!!! NOT!!! Warraheck! I dont blame Jim Iyke…i mean after 1 song if people had shut him up or taken his voice bo by force he would not have done a second one abi?!?! But nooooo! People must EAT ASS! Sigh…as 4 Omoba….i kent lie to u that song brings out my inner most perspiration but i agree…D’Prince shud really jus “Have a BACK seat”
    Signed Management

  6. Haha..bless your soul for this article! Oh yea and I also think you should critique that Afrocandy person, then again that woman just needs Jesus.

  7. Oh my goodness!! O_o

    What is this and why y’all saying this is a great article? EHN?? Nigerians!!!! All I see is HATE HATE AND HATE!!! In my NOT-SO humble opinion, I think D’Princess is the best rapper to hold the mic, he’s the truth, he’s omoba, respect the obedience, reside in his residence. Jor!! Hmmmm, whats smelling in the building? WHAT? WHAT??

    I dont know who the other guy is (the jim ike one) , but if he says he was born to do it then he must be the greatest (after D’Princess tho) then u critics were born to crit-this, hit this, chei…see diss!!

    Afrocandy, you are a very good writer but this article so hateful, I saw ur video on youtube, I loooooove it, the ikebe na money one, it will go down as the greatest of all time!! CLASSIC ish ryt there.

    The summary of my rant is this…*crickets*

  8. Well written!!
    I think D’banj should be on this list too. He is talentless and his lyrics are so WACK

  9. please you guys should free dprince ooo,yes he isnt qualified to bi in the mohits crew but his songz are good in d car stereo…atleast thats where i play them….(that his album)as for jimmy..i have never been his fan this role in hollywood is a result of lack of capable people now he dabbling into music ??…..damn!!!!!!!!!

  10. this is a hater writer.. am sure u bump to omoba in your car, house, bathroom, phone, kitchen, church/mosque, office and everyhere u find yourself.. thats a mad joint.. boy makes his money from that joint and ure here writing rubbish u dont make nothing out of… and pls dnt even go there with that jesse jagz pussy cat joint… i think the whole song is a metaphor and if u dont understand it then go back to skool.. the future of nigerian music is d prince, jesse jagz, ice prince, wizkid, sauce kid, yq, vector, mochedda, sid, skales and the d prince is definately in tht list.. on a last note… get a life and stop hating!

  11. Okay, afrocandy thanks for your opinion…. I just wanted to say, there is nothing like bad music… maybe their style/lyrics or wateva doesn’t appeal to you, u move on… Music is an expression dat needs no explanation… if u dont understand their type of lyrical flow… just move on.. Not every musician was made to sing wat u want to hear… or reveal d mysteries of life thru their music. Maybe they are singing wat they wanna hear…. its left to u to tune into their worlds or not…

  12. Dprince was wack then, dude is steadily improving. His collabo on samklef’s song and his new give it to me…#TwoThumbsUp. As for Jim Iyke…..#OkBye

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