Hi there, so its another Memoir Monday. Are you a regular? Go forth to the line beginning Monday and have a blessed time. Are you new to this? Then you’ll need to stop here for the memoir rules for your reading warning pleasure.
Monday, 12th July 2010
I thank God for a better health, wonderful friends and for the gift of girls who find it a bit difficult to say no to sex. I couldn’t go to work because of some banging headache and a little fever. Mum would be in town later today to take proper care of me.
Wow. I’m in sooooooo much trouble and my phone won’t stop ringing. Hmmmmm……… maybe I didn’t think through my last post or maybe I never expected her to take any offence. So Biola found out that I lied to her the last time she was at mine but I only did that to avoid an ugly scene, ok maybe not ugly but sha a scene. I’ve gotten nothing less than 27 text messages from her, 6 different phone calls from her friends and a call from someone who claimed to be her brother.
Special Message: Dear Biola’s family and friends, just in case you get to read my diary, please Forgive and Forget.
Mum is in town. As usual, she’s full of gist and of course the never-ending topic of “The Absent of good marriageable girls in Lagos according to Mama Chibuzor”. The drive from mainland to Island had “Ada” in every sentence and no it did not stop there. We stopped over at Shoprite for Ice Cream and then she went…
Mum: Why are these girls buying meat here?
Nobs: Erm cuz it’s convenient and things
Mum: So, fa amaro ebe afia di?
Nobs: It’s sha same meat. Shoprite ooo, Oshodi market ooo.
Mum: I trust my Ada she won’t use freezer meat to cook for her husband.
Nobs: Ahn Ahn, she got married and didn’t invite me? (Straight face)
Mum: Biko, putara n’uzo. Ndi nwere imi, amaro ka esi akpo anwuru.
We got home and she unpacked and that was when the real drama started.
Mum: Erm, Ada sent this letter and these foodstuffs.
Nobs: Did I tell her that I am starving, biko?
Mum: Sometimes, I wonder if I’m really your mother.
Nobs: Choi. She has not even come in and we are already fighting
Mum: Just choose a date. That’s all.
Nobs: Erm, at this rate you guys might as well choose the date and I’ll attend as the groom.
I took the note to my room and I must admit, the perfume wasn’t bad at all and it brought back good memories.
Content of the note
“ Dear Buzor,
How are you? I hope you are doing very well.
I’ve missed you and when I heard you were not feeling well. I was sad but more sad that I can’t come to Lagos at this point because of school assignments.
I wish I was there to take care of you but I trust Mama to take care of you. I sent you Garri, Yam, Plantain and Uziza leaf. Eat well and grow big for me.
Also, I want us to travel abroad after my exams. Mama said she would give me money to go abroad with you.
I want us to go to Ghana and I promise you the whole of me. You won’t regret it.
Please try and call me later.
I sprayed my perfume on this letter for you.
Ada is so sweet. The foodstuff and now she wants to go “abroad” with me. The note got me thinking about loads of things and comparing her to Lagos girls. Most city babes are tired of Ghana. Most of them are now having their Hen night in Vegas. Ada may not be all that now but I believe I can brush her up na. If Mercy Johnson can look this manageable now, then I can turn Ada into a beauty queen. Maybe not with Mercy’s kinda of boobs but with boobs that can stay in clothes.
I was about to go to bed when the sms came from Biola.
“Noble Igwe, I’ll hunt you down and you will surely pay the price for all these. Just the way you like rolling my ileke idi, ma fun apo epon e”
and I replied “Bee, I deserve it and I’m willing to pay the price. I only realised how stupid my act was today. Make out time for us, please”.
Tuesday, 13th July 2010
I won’t be going to work with my car today because of two reasons;
1. My mum is in town and may need to visit her friends
2. I don’t feel like driving sha
I’m not going to work today just in case Biola decides to get funny and show up at work. I don’t need her going Chris brown on my windshield.
I just came out of a meeting when my phone rang and I picked…
Nobs: Nobs here…
Caller: It’s Biola!
Nobs: Hey, erm did you get my text message?
Biola: I did. What’s up with you this evening?
Nobs: Nothing, why?
Biola: I want to see you but not in your house.
Nobs: That’s fine
Biola: You remembered where we first met?
Nobs: Ahem, Mmmarquee
Nobs: I’ll be there!!!
I waited and waited for 6.30pm to come, at 5.30pm got a colleague to drop me off at Marquee for the Biola appointed time of 6.30pm.
On getting to the venue of the meeting. I thought about several things;
What if Biola is planning to beat me up with her friends in the presence of a photographer from City people?
What will the headline read?
“Noble Igwe’s fuck ups treated by angry side chic” or “Angry girlfriend traced lover to hangout spot” or “6 Women beats a helpless lover to death”. GOD FORBID!!! Chei!! Tufiakwa!!! (in my thickest igbo accent).
I called my friend Olams to come through to Marquee just in case. I wasn’t scared or anything but I wanted someone who could stop me from beating a woman (Biola, I’m only JOKING here ooooo). I no even fit raise my hand.
I didn’t have to search for her. The venue was a bit empty and spotting her was no boobigge.
Biola: Hey, Noble!
Nobs: Guess you don’t call me Nobs any more
Biola: Whatever. My question is simple, Noble, why?
Nobs: Biola, I’m really sorry and I would do anything to make us work.
Biola: Us? pause Us? was there any “Us” before now?
Nobs: Yes and you know it
Biola: So is this meeting going up in your stupid diary?
Nobs: Not because I want to but because people would like to know.
Biola: Maybe I should pour this cocktail on you so that you can tell them I did that.
Nobs: I can take anything from you.
Biola: I’ll keep it simple and short.
Biola: I’m sorry I didn’t inform you before I commented on your post. I told my colleague about your dairy last week only to be informed by her yesterday that you played me over the weekend. I did all those out of anger.
Nobs: I should be saying that I’m sorry not the other way round.
Biola: I saw the comments and what people said cos of my comment.
Nobs: It’s fine and I really don’t care
Biola: Oh okay ooooo. I hope you don’t have your Slim or Shirls in the car and I’ll only get to find out on Monday.
Nobs: Nah. And going forward, I should okay any post about you first, deal?
Biola: Okay ooo. I’m even scared of you now. I hope you are not even taping this one.
Nobs: No nah. I don’t rugged conversations.
Biola: You are a big fool.
Nobs: But you love the fool.
Biola: This is not love. I know what I like jo
Nobs: I’m really sorry, love. Please hug me
Biola: This hug you’ll work for
Nobs: Make it all “kind”
Friday, 16th July 2010
Work was fabulous. I got to the Island and went to the cinema to see a movie, ALONE and no that’s not the name of the movie.
Hooked up with Slim, Dupe and Forlah at Bambuddah to chill a bit. Then the train moved to Marquee.
Dropped Slim at her friend’s and on my way home I got a text message from Shirls
“I just pierced my tongue and I think you’ll like the feel. Are you out tonight?”
I thought about replying her and the “feel” but passed because I’ve already planned to meet Slim at Ice cream factory.
Saturday, 17th July 2010
Met up with Slim at Ice cream factory. Stopped over to see Oyinbo and then headed to the Galleria for 360nobs meeting.
Meeting was loooonnnng 12noon-6pm, Chai!!!!
Went for SWE/2face event. SWE @ 4 as well as celebrating 2face for closing SA2010 (First Fifa World Cup on African Soil).
Sunday, 18th July 2010
9.00am (MI’s Sunday)
I went to MI’s crib for a long over due meeting on MI2. We played and discussed the plan for the entire album and launch. I’M EXCITED already (did i shout out too loud :)). I must add here that you would be impressed by the quality of work on this album. I’ll be sharing some of the songs with some of you in MY CAR.
Got home and met my sister in front of the TV because of some virus called Big Brother.
I went to my room slept off and woke up later to write my memoirs.
Special Shoutout to all the present and future readers of the memoirs. Week 10 and still going strong…..thank you all very much for the continous reading and visits to 360nobs.com to read this and all the other daily, weekly, monthly posts of our contributing writers. Much Appreciated!!!