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Guessing you’re now getting used to reading the Memoirs of a SLU…shhKID on a weekly basis so wouldn’t need to read the rules again, THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK.  New followers, please read the rules  here so that you can judge your reading fairly and to you WELCOME.

Sunday, June 20th 2010

Dear  Diary (Continued from last weekend),

When I stepped into my living room I didn’t believe my eyes. There she was sitting at the edge of the sofa watching African magic and laughing out loud. (Btw, there’s something natural about the way she laughs. She laughs straight from her heart). Immediately she saw me, she screamed, stood up, walked up to me and collected my laptop.

Ada: Buzor, why did you do this to me?
Nobs: What did I do to you, Nne?
Ada: I’ve been trying to reach you since Friday.
Nobs: Oh! My phone packed up. Sorry for not calling you to tell you.
Ada: It’s okay. I thought you were angry because I asked you to send me transport money to enable me come to Lagos. I did not want you to be angry so I decided to come and see you in person.
Nobs: You are kidding me, right? You came all the way to Lagos from Akwa just to say that “You are sorry? Ada, I’m not worth the stress one bit”.
Ada: Mbanu.. Oremi, don’t talk like that. You are worth every minute spent in the ABC bus to Lagos.  Imakwa, when they stopped so we could eat, I was angry that they were wasting my time sef. Oremi, I was only looking forward to seeing you.
Nobs: How did you get to the house?
Ada: I told Mama that I was going to Lagos and would love to see you, she gave me Chidinma’s number. I begged Chidinma to keep it a secret. I thank God for Chidinma ooo. She came to get me from Jibowu.
Nobs: Seen. Erm have you eaten?
Ada: Yes, Erigo’m. I even cooked Ukwa for you. Are you ready to eat now?
Nobs: No, I’ll take mine to work. I don’t eat after 7pm again as I’m trying to shed ‘Tummywa’.
Ada: But Oremi, I prepared it specially for you. You know I have to leave tomorrow with the first bus. We may have a test on Tuesday.

(*In my mind. I’m really not worth all these. She came all the way from Akwa to see me just to ask for forgiveness? Who does that? There’s no Lagos girl still standing that would even say sorry for standing you up*)

Nobs: Ada, I’ll take some to work and I’ll also have some when I get back from work.
Ada: Okay, no problem. Let me go and run your bath water.
Nobs: Adanma, I’ll do that myself.
Ada: Chidinma said you wouldn’t let me do that. She even said you would be angry when you find out that I washed your boxers.
Nobs: Obara jisos! No nah. You shouldn’t have done that.
Ada: I’m not complaining ooo. Oya, come and have your bath. Abi, should I come and bath you?
Nobs: No Hun, I’ll be fine BUT if you insist then…

We went into my room; she undressed me, took me to the bathroom and asked me to sit in the bathtub while she goes to change. Few minutes later, she walked into the bathroom in one of my boxers and a t-shirt. She was looking fresh; right there and then, I wanted to call in sick so that I can concentrate on her all night and day. She sponged my back and when her hands moved to some regions, I instantly developed a boner.

Ada: Some people are ready for action.
Nobs: Erm not really. I think I drank a lil too much tonight.
Ada: Anugo’m. Shud I join you?
Nobs: Erm mean ..erm okay ..yes. If you want to
Ada: Some people are not talking well again. Okay, let me turn off the light and then I’ll undress.

As she proceeded with the t-shirt….

Room door: Kpam kpam
Voice: O, Chidinma
Nobs: WHAT??
Chidinma: Ada asked me to call her when the second part of this movie starts.
Ada: Okay, I’m coming now
Nobs: Must you go?
Ada: I don’t want her to suspect anything ooo
Nobs: Shit…Do you really have to watch this movie?
Ada: Buzor, biko don’t be angry but I don’t want Chidinma to suspect that we are having sex here.
Nobs: Just do whatever makes you happy
Ada: I’m sorry, Oremi
Nobs: If I’m your Ore, you would have stayed with me.
Ada: See ya later, Nkem

Ada left the bathroom and she took with her my chances of getting smashed in the bathroom but since she didn’t leave with my hands, I helped myself and NO, there’s nothing wrong with “self-love”.  I slept off while waiting for Ada and only woke up when she came to bed around 3am. There was nothing I could do and I would be handling progress meeting in my office. Oh, well.  And another, boner bites the dust!!!

Ada left at 6am for Jibowu. I put the entire blame on African magic and Chidinma.

Friday, June 25th 2010

Dear Diary,

I’ve got appointment with that female doctor. I’ve heard stories and I won’t mind having a doctor as a kele.

Rain Rain Rain and more Rain.

Left for Umuomaku for my sister’s traditional wedding.  Mixed feelings……..

Saturday, June 26 2010

Dear Diary,

It’s my sister’s traditional wedding today and I’m sadhappy.

I’ve got two sisters and I heart them to the end of this earth. I don’t think I’ve enjoyed my sisters well enough and now one of them is about to be taken away.

I totally understand that I’m about to gain a brother but I’m yet to fully digest the fact ‘Baby Aji’ is getting married and may have to go with him today.

I mean she’ll pack her things from my father’s house and would now be visiting us?

I want NED to promise me that he would love my sister more than I love her and would take good care of her.

I also want to know if she would be allowed to spend two days with us during Christmas and yes Ned, you may come with her.

This is a big day for the Igwes’.

Ndi Ogo came and we gave out my sister according to tradition.
Isn’t she the finest of them all?

Ned, You are welcome to the family. We are officially four boys.

Sunday, June 27th 2010

Dear Diary,

9.30am (Umuomaku)
I was sleeping when someone came to inform that my mum was calling to come downstairs. I was tired from yesterday’s carrying of chairs, food and drink.  I quickly brushed, grabbed a Polo top and a double R.Got downstairs and who did I see?

Ada: Buzor, good morning
Nobs: How na?
Nobs: Mum, good morning
Mumsie: Nna, Kedu?
Nobs: Odimna
Mumsie: I called you to show the firewood that Ada brought for us ooo

Nobs: Hmmm.  Ah ah is that not too much?
Mumsie: I told her the same thing
Ada: Mama, you know, you people have a lot of visitors and this may not even be enough.
Mumsie: God will bless you my daughter. A good man will not pass you by
Ada: Amen. Thank you mama. Ngwa, Buzor, let’s go to the stream.
Nobs: Okay, give me a min to get my ‘aju’
Ada: Okay, Oremi

I went up, called my sister to join us and together we went to the stream to get water for my mum.

Ada: Buzor, you are hardworking oo
Nobs: You need to feel me work without light self
Ada: That’s not what I meant. I saw you yesterday doing a lot of things.
Nobs: Oh that. It was my sister getting married and that’s the least I could do
Ada: Buzor, I would like to come and spend a week in Lagos if you don’t mind?
Nobs: Sure. When?
Ada: July and you know it rains in July.
Nobs: Okay that’s fine, hun.

We got to the stream, fetched water and went home.

My mum was really happy with all Ada’s effort and she specially dished food for US to eat together.

Okay I’m beginning to like Ada and maybe I should give her a chance. She’s a virgin and I think that should be considered a big deal.

12.00noon-Leaving Umuomaku
Ada packed food stuff for me including. Ogiri, Ukwa, Agidi, Oka, Ube and Oha. Chai, dis girl sha na wa!!! 😀 Me Likeeeyyyy!!!

Thanks to everybody that came to support my sister during her traditional wedding; Becks, Mau, Shad, Nomso, Ms Ekenna, Ijure, Chinenye, Chinelo, Joy, Linda and every other person in between.

Noble Igwe

Noble Igwe

Nobs is a SLU…shh trust fund kid who works just to exercise his body and mind. He’s “Unruly” but as calm as the “ABE” boys. Referred to as FYI (Fly, Young and Igbo) by his friends, Nobs says iT tHe wAy iT iS. Follow him on Twitter @nobsdaslushhkid Enough of the English language……..My name is Noble Igwe,go figure!


  1. I like Ada!!!! Marry her Nobs! (Meanwhile she must have heard that Basketmouth joke about chics that tease and run, she supplemented a phone call for Chidinma sha)

  2. P.S Your sister looked amazing, I like that she wore the proper blouse with george. She looked great. I pray she remains as happy as always.

  3. Nwannem Nwoke Ada bu nwunye gi so enuff already and set the drums rolling biko……Rapu umunwanyi lagos nuo nwa azuru azu ofuma

    1. Katieee.! Posted on i had a cat named txiire. then she had eight babies. i named them after the seven dwarfs:)docsleepydopeyhappygrumpysneezybashfulthe last one was named boots:)

  4. This edition has got me aww…iiing and teary. On a monday morning for that matter!! Ok, i know nobs when i see him and that dude with the blue gallon on his head is def nobs!!! Omg!! don’t we just love him?? *a humble ”king”* 🙂 Beautiful pictures too…oh and now i have to wait another 7days.. 🙁 *back to work*

  5. aaaaaawwwwww!!!! ur sis looked beautiful!!! As 4 this Ada babe…i swear it doesnt get better than this Nobs…u never know though> Pray about it dude…and wait till u actually develop feelings OUTSIDE ur lil man b4 making any moves yea… God bless… Signed

  6. That pic of u with d jerry can on ur head cracked me the hell up. U r something else.
    Btw, I give up. Ada is d winner.

  7. Congratulations to Ned & your Sister oh.
    I taya! This Ada chick is making things move way 2 fast. how she go leave you high & dry like dat 4 bathroom? Chidinma sef no catch? I MISSED “Slim” this week. Isn’t she a potential wifey? The fetching water @ the stream & firewood bit is got me thinking: Nobs why u never drill borehole for ya compund 4 Village?

  8. @EnkeyRuh,
    Some houses are built on rocky soil.Mine is one of them.We can’t drill but we’ve got a tank.
    2ndly,going to the stream is an experience I wud never trade for a borehole.
    Hmmmmmmmm NOT

  9. Chai!!! Abeg, i’m at work. This post and the comments have got me laughing like a hyena. Awwww, i pray ur sister finds maximum happiness in her marriage, Amen. And Ada is another story… who remembers that old nollywood movie, Love without language? Yup! Nble, bring her to Lagos n marry her o. Fresh flower toh behd. Seeing u carry that keg on ur head got me into mad fits, mehn. I liked this post

  10. loooool! omg mr noble has killed me dis monday morning! i like ada o but by d time u guys sleep together she’ll become a stage 5 clinger. and the noble that i know would be looking for a way to exit sharply. and considering all other things, she is not ur type of girl. if u marry her consider urself the new kanu Nwankwo. i say this bcos like him, he had a fair share of the city girls and den went to marry a virgin from the village. anyways my point is, u r a city boy and she’s a village girl. ur red carpet lifestyle doesn’t match her quiet and homely firewood fetching lifestyle. she is definately wifey material but u r just attracted to the untouched pum pum! lmaooo. i can’t wait for next week xoxoxoxo

  11. Igwe1, u know I have always been Ada’s fan. So let me know when u decide to make it official cos she is a rear gem.

  12. Arrrw, congrats on ur sister’s wedding, may it last forever and happily so. Its alright for u to miss her

    *coughs* doctor’s appointment abi? At no time did u say u were ill na, nwanu give us more gist about ds doctor toh bahd *wink*

  13. agree with nenny! hilarious!

    errr noble bobo, this babe is serious o.. lol…
    she no gree mehn.
    sorry for una village o… this stream business no be easy work, why u no carry ada keg join?

    eh heh nnayi noble,
    where is slim o? i kinda liked her before al this ada/love without language talk

  14. Now..who wears a RL polo to a stream…and i bet that’s a True religion Jeans, or probably Rock n that is one fine,humble King

  15. nobs i’m feeling u n ada die. but wait o maybe its d feeling of xperiencing a kind of relationship ur not used 2. as per noble is a def a city boy n dates island jebbis. ada is sweet but like others have asked wot of slim? oh well its up 2 u. cos ada seems like she’ll fit in 2 lagos life. that babe has got amazing manipulatin skills. she has u cornered baby! enjoy. ok i have 2 get back 2 work.

  16. Nice story. I guess this is what a masculine M&B would be like. What I really like is the obvious pride and display of your culture. Cant wait for next week.

  17. Wallahi u r a cruise. So ma frnd jus gave me d link n ‘stead of me to read m laffin my butt off. Ok i lyk ada cos its kinda sweet-the attention. But it all boils down to wot u want. Its nt jus about hw she treats u. Wt do u knw about her person? Start from dere. M officially cyberstalkin u.

  18. awww..luv d pic with d gallons on ur heads,seein dem trees fills me wit nostalgia for my villa…i miss home mehn!!!!!

  19. i tot i was a real cool , well brought up gurl .. this Ada n her Ukwa n fire wood business has definitely thrown me off balance ! n the stream move ?? chineke .. i cant even lift a 25 litre galon . *Sob*

  20. Nobs… obviously, all forces are against u shagging this Ada chic… and to crown it, she’s a V…
    advice: if it aint marriage, done encourage her o… hehehehehe

  21. Noble wins everytime!

    Thumbs up, a picture is worth more than a tthousand words, and we got a couple of u and Ada at the stream.

    while i dont believe, that indeed happened, you get my vote for posting this up.

    This dude should work for an intelligence agency for the way you put words and imagery together to help form people’s opinions.

    U and me are kindred spirits..FYI ever!

  22. I need to come up with new and interesting stories regularly so people will notice me & not forget about my blog. Though most of the stories are made up & pure fiction, there are people who totally believe them which is the important thing cos the aim of this blog is popularity and money….lol.

    I never learnt to respect women so I dont want anyone telling me to respect them cos they are all the same & I can sleep with any one of them; slim, shirls, ada, biola, ivory….anyone i want, anytime……girls, always willing……

    more free women…..more…..more (pls the younger the better, no old keles abeg….16yrs-25yrs only….sweet…)
    you can call me pervert, anything you want….I dont care….

  23. lol!!! i like ada i think she teased u intentionally…she wont give it to u untill u marry her…meanwhile nobs u dint want her ukwa, dint want her to run water for u but dint mind her joining u for a bath…ha….i di egwu!! LOL!!

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