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The Grave, as I’m using it within the context of this article, is a place that is characterized by Suffering.

Webster’s Dictionary defines Suffering this way:

The bearing of pain, inconvenience, or loss; pain endured; distress, loss, or injury incurred; as, sufferings by pain or sorrow; sufferings by want or by wrongs.

Thwarted Wanting is also a major cause of Suffering.

The bearer of Suffering seeks Relief. Its possible to sometimes become complacent in Suffering (or find ways to make oneself more comfy in the midst of), but somewhere within may still lie the glimmer of hope for Relief.

Rather than attempting to turn your Grave into a Paradise, why not use the serenity of the grave to understand the process or situations that got you there. The grave provides us with the most unique opportunity to examine ourselves; ask ourselves those questions about our person that we are afraid to even think about.

However, don’t be deceived at the quietness of the Grave. It has its own Resident demons with one sole mission – to compel you to remain become a permanent Grave Occupant along with them.

These demons know very well, what brought you here. They also know that your Understanding why you are in this place, is also your ticket out of the Grave. Therefore, to succeed in their mission, they’ll distract you from your main focus, which should be clear, objective Self-Examination.

They will list all the people whose fault it is why you’re now here; they’ll psyche you into seeing yourself as the victim and everyone else the cause of your pain. Sometimes it’s possible that being Victimized by others, will get you into a Grave situation, but even in that, it is still imperative to understand ‘Why’ they were able to victimize you.

The demons cannot afford to allow you grasp that there is indeed Purpose to your Suffering.

They will present you with all kinds of Suffering Relief therapies to make you feel good about yourself through the grave experience. So whether it is you feeling good about the fact that everyone else is evil and you are the Saint they victimize, or feeling on top of the world from a drug that makes you forget where you are and how you got there, the Grave demons just never run out of their Feel-good supply.

After a while of being hooked on the Grave elixir, you are not even aware that you have now become as comfortable in the grave as the demons themselves!!

Are any of these thoughts familiar?

“Well, after all he says it’s me he loves and wants to be with but he doesn’t want to leave his wife because of the children”

“I’m going to show this girl that I’m way better now that we’re not speaking anymore. Who needs her?”

“Everyone is doing it, why am I the one that should be doing right while everyone else gets away with that…”

“It’s my fault…I screwed up very badly…I can’t stand myself..I don’t deserve anyone’s love or forgiveness…”

The Grave demons teach you to justify your being in the grave. They would use even the most ridiculous of arguments that seem logical only in the grave. The greatest undoing of anyone that is ever in a Grave situation, is accepting the voice of the Grave demon.

The demons will only desist from throwing all their arguments at you when you master the art of ignoring them. It is so easy to get taken in by what they are saying, because most times they do make sense, but you have to understand that the only person who can clearly illuminate for you why you are in the grave, is Yourself.

Ignore the Grave demons (this will take some practice) and embrace the silence of the grave. It’s in that silence your voice becomes clearly audible.

Go back in your mind, this time as purely an objective spectator, and retrace the steps that brought you here. Don’t be afraid to admit the flaws in your character that you will get to see; at the same time, don’t get stuck hating and criticizing yourself because of them.

Seeing yourself just as you are is the first step of the journey to becoming who you know you should be.

Nothing and no-one, not even the grave demons in all their cleverness, has the power to keep you in the grave for longer than is necessary. The only person with that power is You.

Sometimes, the period of being in the grave extends even beyond your Self-Examination; the difference when that happens is that a new companion takes residence with you in the grave. His presence is so powerful that the demons immediately disappear as soon as he enters.

His name is Peace.

His mission is to keep you in Him while in the grave, and then usher you out of the grave when the time comes.

The good news is that even after the grave, once Peace has shown up, He never leaves you again.

Don’t turn your Grave into a false Paradise.

Tari Ekiyor

Tari Ekiyor

The quirky and humorous musings of a young writer who is determined to have nothing short of the best of everything in spite of the fact that everything seems to be trying to have the best of her. Welcome to S-I-R (STRONG INDEPENDENT & RELEVANT). You can also catch Tari on her blog


  1. Thanks Neefemi.

    Its amazing how powerful what we’re sharing is. Almost immediately after I put my pen down, I was tested in this. Like as though, let’s find out if this works!!

    Well, I have to admit that it wasn’t easy, but it does work!!! I have experienced being in that situation in the past, but none as intense as after I wrote this article.

    I really do hope that someone can attain Peace after this process.

  2. Tari , you cannot imagine how timely this piece is to me .. i pray for grace to embrace this peace cause its been beckoning to me but like u say ive gotten comfortable in the grave and yet wanting to come out but not strong enuff because of the hurt it ll cause and the fear of the unknown . It is well.

  3. @Tari …You can and like you wrote you have to hold on and keep moving…thats when you remember verses like that “He who is in me, is greater than he who is in the world” God gives peace, so rbr to go to him and do all you can psychically do to remove drama and distractions from your life…like reading your stuff

  4. @Trina: I have no doubt whatsoever, YOU WILL COME OUT OF THAT GRAVE. Every process that needs to begin that will vring you out..I beliv has already begun.

    Thanks Neefemi, thank you. I really appreciate your encouragent. Thanks.

  5. @Trina: I have no doubt whatsoever, YOU WILL COME OUT OF THAT GRAVE. The process of your coming out has already begun.

    Neefemi, I deeply appreciate your words of encouragement. Thank you.

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