Personally, I can’t really say I’ve ever experienced the agony of being cheated on.
Yes, I have been in Relationships where I knew my partner was seeing other people, but maybe it’s that I didn’t care that deeply for the person, because I’d be lying if I said it was a painful experience.
I’ve had more experience being the Villain in my own private Cheaters series and I have witnessed the pain and hurt the person who’s being cheated on suffers.
Interestingly enough, the person that I cheated on, while in a serious relationship, didn’t break-up with me even after I confessed to him that I had been seeing someone else.
In my mind at the time, I believed that once he knew, the relationship would automatically be over, so I had already braced myself for whatever eventuality. But to my deep shock and somewhat frustration, as I wanted to be free to continue my rubbish, he actually was willing for us to move beyond that.
I was really confused about the fact that he still wanted to remain with me, knowing what he knew, and even began to suspect that he was probably just trying to get me all comfy again so he can show me strong thing!!
But that wasn’t his intention. He genuinely loved me and wanted to be with me, and so he was ready and willing to forgive me and commit himself to giving me whatever it is I was lacking that made me stray in the first place.
My reason for cheating was more out of my Selfishness and insatiable lust for attention. He was a great guy who never did me any wrong. So it broke my heart that he felt it was because of something he wasn’t doing right.
I saw how difficult it was for him, having to endure looking at me and knowing that I still had thoughts about the other person and probably having to imagine me with someone else, but he still stayed. In fact I was so guilty about my actions that I did everything to try to get out because I felt I didn’t deserve him.
My efforts at sabotaging the relationship were futile as they made him even more dedicated to making it work out.
From other people’s experiences they’ve shared with me, I have seen that my Ex’s reason for staying with me after my Infidelity is the rarest reason why people stay with their partners who cheat.
A friend was sharing with a group of us girls about how she walked in on her boyfriend with another girl in his house. It was very clear that the girl had been staying there with him as she was in her underwear when my friend walked in, but the guy denied it flat out to her face, saying he didn’t know who the girl was!!
Can you see this scenario: My friend walks into his house, he lives alone, half-naked girl there, yet guy says he doesn’t even know the babe, who is in his house, in his bed!!
As in like seriously, that takes pulling the “It wasn’t me” to yet another level. This guy till today has not owned up about his cheating, even though it is so clear to my friend.
Obviously the Man has Honesty issues and is definitely not sorry about his Infidelity. He is not even owning up to having been busted!! So the big question I had for my friend was “Why are you still with him?”
Now I know girls who are with guys who constantly cheat on them, and have accepted it. It doesn’t bother them anymore, or they do a pretty good job of hiding it, and just continue in the relationship like everything’s normal.
But this particular friend was obviously really hurt by her guy’s cheating, and so it clearly is not something she can or wants to accept. Yet, she stays with him even though he lacks the barest decency or balls to say the simple truth about what he’s done.
This is a guy who is in his mid-30’s and as we all know, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, especially when the dog clearly doesn’t want to learn.
So I asked my friend why she is still with him. She couldn’t give me an answer.
But the other girls there were quick to voice their opinions as to why she should stay with him:
“Ahh…you need someone that will be f*#king you now!! Do you want to be moving from one guy to the other?”
“As he has done this one now, it’s your perfect opportunity to get anything you want from him for life!!”
“At least he’s hiding it, which means that you’re the No. 1 and he respects you”
“Look, you better stay with him, because if you think you’ll ever find a guy who won’t cheat, you’re wasting your time!”
These were the individual responses of a group of beautiful, intelligent, well-to-do, young women to my question about why people (a young woman in this case) stay with Unrepentant Cheating Partners.
What do you say??