For the first time in all of my 26years on this earth, I’ve finally realized what exactly I want in a Man.
In the past, I had always gone into relationships based on what I was seeing or feeling at the moment, as opposed to having a strong conviction in my heart that the person conforms to my personal projection of the man I want to be with.
I guess what I have designed is my own unique DNA for my Man and so if there isn’t that match deep in my subconscious, I’m not going to give a guy who’s talking to me even the breath of a chance.
I know it seems kind of harsh, but you wouldn’t believe how much easier it has made my life become. Because of this DNA profiling of mine, I can look beyond all the physical ‘bling-bling’ on a guy and immediately access whether or not he can be shortlisted as a prospect.
‘Bling-bling’ as we all know can be very deceptive. Underneath that gleaming and almost blinding exterior can lie the cheapest quality and basest substance. It’s no different when it comes to Men and I guess also, Women.
The Bling represents the physical attributes (tall, dark, handsome), the speech mode (a British or American accent immediately raises a guy’s stock), the clothes, the car, where he lives, the job….basically everything that guarantees an immediate Push or Pull factor.
The Bling is highly effective here in Nigeria, probably due to our economy, seeing that very few women (myself included) who live quite affluently (or not) as Single Ladies, will cast and bind any idea of going into a marriage that will draw them into the horror of having to exchange their Louboutins for Cortina.
So our Men, brilliant and intuitive as they are, have devised many, many ways of presenting the Bling. Just go into any nightclub in Lagos, and there you will witness Bling-fests in no small degree!
So I wasn’t too surprised when I was at a party over the weekend, bored out of my mind and wondering how many more of these I’d have to endure up until that time comes when I can be home plotting out ingenious ways to make my husband holler our house down in ecstasy, rather than be at one of these same ole Lagos parties, when the Bling presented itself to me in full glare.
The Blingist walks up to me, puts his hand around my waist and confidently announces himself:
Blingist– “Can I take you to my Beach House tomorrow?”
Me- “No, I’m busy tomorrow…..I’m going for (called the name of a major event)”
Blingist– “Look, I’m a (highly placed Government official) I will be there”
Me- “Well good….so will I”
Blingist– “So if not tomorrow, next week then?”
Me- “No, I’ll pass. Thanks for asking anyway”
Blingist– “Why are you taking pictures?”
Me- “It’s for my Blog”
Blingist– “Take a picture of me then”
Me- “I’d rather not”
Blingist– “You should….it’ll be your Claim to Fame”
Alright too much offensive Bling for me in just one night…..I walked away!!
So that was my last encounter with the Bling. Always hilarious to see even a 40-something year old married father produce all he believes are his best cards (the assets, the status) just to get a girl.
A good friend of mine has this theory about the Male specie of all God’s Creation having to always present themselves in order to get the attention of the Female. Hence the thunderous roar of the Lion or the breathtaking display of feathers by the male Peacock. Apparently, the female peacocks don’t have the same awesome feathers their males do.
The louder the roar, the more beautiful the feathers, the more attractive these species are to their Females.
So are Men simply exhibiting their primal instinct when they feel the need to produce the Bling to get the attention of us girls?
Or have Men become so insecure in themselves that they now define who they are and their self-worth by their assets, designer label, status or even where they went to school?