Our generation is well know for whining about the damage that the generation of our fathers has brought on our world, and our nation in particular, from a near rotten political class to a society with almost non existent infrastructure. We rise everyday and swear by our Nikes and Jimmy Choos that if we can get our hands on the steering wheels of governance we will definitely turn things around. I believe in this too, I am actually a strong advocate of handing over to youth. Then I paused. I took some time to do a comparison between the lives our parents have lived and the lives we live now. I compared certain institutions we were born to be aware of, and took a look at how they (our parents) run them. In the end, I shook my head, reality hit me in the gonads – our own generation would be the worst. Let us look out, at how we handle relationships/marriage as a case study.
Writing this piece, I have not assumed infinite wisdom, neither have I overlooked the possibility of exceptions. I have never been married, but I have been around long enough to see more than enough.
Our generation has totally re-written the rules of human relationships, we have totally re-written the rules of human sexuality, the definition of shame, of sacrifice, and of unity in a relationship or marriage, these have been re-worked. Guys do not see it as an issue anymore to wear the toga of perpetual “bachelorism” with pride, some even brag about how they are going to die as Hugh Hefner. Girls lower than 20 have already cultivated the unenviable status of playettes, they are playing 5 guys on the go, and all they get is applause from their kind. To them they are winning territory they perceive originally belonged to the menfolk. I ask, were our mothers, lesbians? Even if they were, it wasn’t bandied about with so much brazenness. These days we are all gradually succumbing to the ethos that every girl has a bit of lesbianism in her. What has the world turned into on our watch?
I can remember parents of yon enduring hard times to keep the family as a unit, for the sake of the kids, I can remember mums and dads enduring “shit” from each other, knowing fully well that whatever was causing their rancour would pass, that it was nothing compared to the cohesion of their family. That is alien now, girlfriends are not willing to work things out, boyfriends won’t even take shit for a second – and these are the folks who will get married to somebody in future, start a family, and as soon as “shit hits the fan” they are gone, gone with the wind into the land of whiners, man/woman-bashers, cougars, and irresponsible fellows. As the wise ones once said “build a family, build a nation”. With the current spate of brief marriages, separations, and the like, how on earth do we hope to build this nation? It is doomsday, this is the apocalypse, the one of which the prophesy was made.
I don’t know if there is a way back, in a world of “independent women”, of women who value jewellry above relationships, in a world of men who have now decided to stop giving a damn. What hopes have we got? The easy way out would be to join them if you can’t beat them, that in essence will be the final nail in the proverbial coffin. Church seems to have failed, the imams seem to be interested in other pursuits outside clergy. I laughed when it dawned on me that the worst girls are actually ushers or choristers or belong to some groups in church, or are the ones whose hijabs were meant to keep all of the light out – I cringe when it turns out that the men who should be the ones taking the lead in trying to keep things together have lost faith in themselves, have decided to toe the easiest way out – play the game of “I just don’t give a fuck“. It is about to go down, we are about to lose it as a collective. I can already feel the warmth of the tears of our parents, this wasn’t how they intended we turned out, but turn out that way we will. I assure them.
So do you still think we are ready as a generation to take over the mantle of how our world is run? Anyone? *crickets*?