The following conversation did not take place at exactly 6.55pm Wednesday April 6 between Ebube and Kunle…..
Kunle: “Hip Hop World Awards office, Kunle Speaking how may I help you?
Ebube: “My name is Ebube, Please can I speak with AeY?”
Kunle: He’s in a meeting, sir but you can leave a message with me”
Ebube: “Okay, good but before I start talking, you may need to sit down as this will be a long conversation”
Kunle: “ Sir, we’re very busy here oooooo. We are planning the most credible and biggest awards event in Nigeria”
Ebube: “Erm, that’s the reason I called”
Kunle: “Okay sir, I’m now seated”
Ebube: “Young Man, Do you know that in most cases, the headline of a newspaper or magazine determines if it’s ever going to be read or not?”
Kunle: “Absolutely, sir”
Ebube: “Good. So you must agree with me that nominees for categories such as “Album of the Year” and “Artiste of the Year” may also determine the if the awards event should/would be taken seriously or not?”.
Kunle: “Yes sir”
Ebube: “Now, tell me, do you think there’s anything wrong with your “Album of the Year” and “Artiste of the Year” categories?
Kunle: “Ah no sir, at all oooo”
Ebube: “So you seriously think that Darey’s ‘The Un-Darey -Ted” should be up for “Album of the Year?”
Kunle: “Yes sir, the album pack design is fine, sir”
Ebube: “The album pack design is fine? Is this the Hip Hop World Awards or Silifabird Man of the Year competition?. You said the category “is for an album (solo or group) in year under review, that meets judges’ requirements of excellence (in every realms: song writing, production, rendition and promotion) and acceptability (sales, popularity)‘ abi?
Kunle: “Yes sir”
Ebube: So, it was nominated solely on “judges’ requirements of excellence” as it surely did not meet acceptability (sales, popularity) and maybe the beauty of the pack, abi?
Kunle: “Sir, would that be all?’
Ebube: “No, Young man. Ask Peter and Paul, they will personally tell you that “Danger” is their most unsuccessful album so far. I’m so worried that it made your “Album of the Year” too.
Kunle: “Sir, but erm we had a panel of judges that came up with the list”.
Ebube: “Okay, let’s move over to “Artiste of the Year” category.
Ebube: “You said ‘this is most critically and commercially adjudged artiste in the year under review overall most successful artiste for the year under review’. Now pick the odd one out from these names WANDE COAL, TERRY G, DAREY, BRACKET & DAGRIN?
Kunle: “Sir, can I get back to you on that?”
Ebube: “Sure. Let’s move over to “Song of the Year“, “Alanta” the dance step was/is popular NOT the song but I still can’t believe that Banky W’s “Strong thing” did not make the list. Oooooh okay, it was produced by a South African, No? Secondly, why did the panelists choose Terry G’s “Free madness part 2” over of part 1?”
Kunle: “Oga me I like the part 1 more sef, gan ni”
Ebube: “You see what I mean? Also, can you tell the judges to decide on “Best R n B” or “Best Pop” album of the year? I don’t understand “Best R n B/Pop Album” category or was it intentionally done that way so that certain people could win the award?”. How come Jesse Jags did not get a nomination for “Producer of the Year” for Djinee’s “Overkillin it” but the same song was then nominated for “Best R n B Single”? Overkillin it? R n B shaaaa? Lawd, have mercy.
Kunle: “Sir, you are taking our entire list apart oooooo. We had a panel”
Ebube: “APART, did you say apart, I never even finish to scatter the so-called list. Me whey still get some more categories to yakata. Abeg my friend, now take a look at your “Next Rated” category, what happened to the likes of Wizkid, Vector, Ice Prince, Eva to mention a few. At least the fact that Ice Prince won the Hennessey Artistry should have been a pointer but NO, the judges/panelists (selectors) ignored that and selected Mo Cheddah instead”
Kunle: “Ewwwwwoooooo! Ice Prince abi? I’ll tell our judges”
Ebube: “Erm while you are at that, will you also ask them “How come “Lami Phillips” never got a nomination for “Hip Hop World Revelation of the Year?”. Sorry I forgot none of the judges know her”.
Kunle: “But sir, I know her na. Ok, I’ll tell the judges too”
Ebube: “Young man, some of us had hope in Hip Hop World Awards and the things they told us that they stand/stood for but looking at that list, it’s a little difficult to understand what they really stand/stood for.
I also think they may need to step out of Lagos for a bit. We have musicians residing outside Lagos, No?
Kunle: Sir, we had judges. That’s our story and we are sticking to it. (Drops phone)
Ebube: Hello(pause)…Kunle, KUNLE, hello..…….are you there? See this stupid boy ooooo………..(Ebube, then takes a seat and decides to go back to his blackberry bolding with his Sugar mummy).