There isn’t a rule book when it comes to relationships, whatever your relationship turns out to be is what you make of it. However, if we have some things in mind, being in a relationship might be easier than it usually is.
As we all know, a relationship is much more than the intense love making, the surprise romantic dinners and expensive gifts. It is more about the honest communication, tolerance and responsibility towards each other.
These and the other things in this article is what makes a relationship work and makes it heaven on earth.
Not trying to change the other person. It is okay to make your partner loosen up and laugh more or even take more trips to the salon or go to church more often. What is not okay is making this person change from who they are to who they aren’t. Nobody can be hundred percent perfect and nobody can have hundred percent of what you seek in a partner. What you’ll have is MOST qualities you seek and the others, you tolerate. You know why? Because you aren’t hundred percent perfect either and that’s how life is. Whenever you try change your partner, you’d create an unhappy and uncomfortable version of them and very soon, you’d cause cracks in that relationship.
Refusing to talk things out. When angry, depending on what your nature is like, you either want to
1. Yell at the person who pissed you off and everyone around or
2. Keep quiet and not talk to everyone around until you feel better.
Either way you handle your anger, when you’re out of that phase, communicate with your partner. Talk it out. Do not bottle up anything in a relationship. It is unfair and very unhealthy.
Forgive and Forget. To be honest, what’s harder than forgiving is forgetting the deed itself. Which is very understandable if whatever happened hurt you to your very bones. However, if you have decided to forgive what your partner did to you, then you have to erase every single memory of that action they took that hurt you. The moment you still have flashes of those in your memory, you’d occassionally get mad and would never let go.
Timing conversations. Forget how important the discussion may be, but whenever your man has just come back and is stressed from a very long day at work or your woman has had the longest day working at the office and arranging dinner afterwards, the discussion can certainly wait. Do not bring up sensitive discussions when your partner is stressed. Nothing is more insensitive.
Overreacting. So he forgot to clear the dishes again or she dropped her mascara in your study, don’t be overdramatic about it. Calm down and address the situation without drama.
Third Party. So your mom is really cool. Like cooler than all moms and she understands your relationship with your husband/wife so you don’t exactly regard her as a third party. Or maybe its your sibling who has always been your bestfriend all your life and you sometimes tell him or her about the things happening in your relationship.
Listen, a third party is someone who isn’t you or your spouse in your relationship. Doesn’t matter if it is your mom, dad, son, bestfriend or neighbour. Handle your situation without external interference.
Be spontaneous. Surprise romantic getaways, dinner, holidays, whatever makes the other person excited.do it. You are in love after all and making your partner happy is what matters.
tomilola – has written 277 posts on this site.
I make stuff up for a living and more importantly everybody's entertainment. You'd either love the series or love it ;-) Don't hesitate to drop your comments about my series on here or via twitter, @tomilola_coco.