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Segun Adekoye Writes: A word or two on the Ese Walter & Rev. Biodun Fatoyinbo saga

Segun Adekoye Writes: A word or two on the Ese Walter & Rev. Biodun Fatoyinbo saga

When we talk about issues regarding religion we have to be careful, because it is one of the things that fragments our beliefs, our thoughts and our world at large. Much has been destroyed in this world on the basis of religion. Atheism is a form of religion, as is Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism and a horde of thousands of not-so-widely-known doctrines worldwide.

You would have read Ese Walter’s open confession on her affair with the senior pastor of COZA, Biodun Fatoyinbo. If you haven’t read it, you can find the elaborate story here. Ever since she released the story, the social media has gone agog over it. The matter has been thrown back and forth. Rev. Biodun Fatoyinbo has been flogged severely by comments from people who are thoroughly pissed at him. Ese Walter on the other hands has been reprimanded, comforted and even advised to go for ‘psychoanalysis’ as a particular commenter put it. I didn’t intend to talk about this issue, but I have a thing or two to say on the matter.

1. ‘Men of God’ are still men:
However disappointing this may sound, it is sadly true. Being called a pastor does not take the chromosomes in your DNA and mutate you into an angel. A pastor is a title that can be likened to other political titles like Prime Minister, President and Governor. It is an office that you occupy based on your qualifications be it spiritual, academic, political or moral merits. That a ‘man of God’ is alleged to have been involved in a scathing scandal like this does not make him a “fake man of God’. While the Judas was widely known to have betrayed Jesus, his role or deed did not erase his popular office as being one of Jesus 12 disciples. You can’t mention the 12 disciples without mentioning Judas. This did not warrant him ever being called a ‘fake’ disciple. Any acclaimed clergyman can become the subject of a scandal. These people were not born with wings. Discipline is what drives their office and the decisions to be set apart towards the service of God and humanity.

2. ‘Men of God’ have encouraged people:
I have witnessed the lives of a lot of people change positively because they have had contact with a ‘man of God’. Drug addicts have become better people. Poor, homeless and destitute people have been helped. Young children have had their education sponsored by these men of God. The ‘unbridled and carefree tendencies’ of humanity have been somewhat checked by majority of these people. Open allegations like this destroy other people’s beliefs and faith.
3.  Ese Walter was not the abused:

This is what I believe. How can you call one week of non-stop sex, abuse. Abuse is the improper usage or treatment of an entity, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. How can she call it abuse when she willingly consented? I am astound by how this confession has become a thing of sympathy. She must have enjoyed whatever she had and wanted more, so she kept going back. Consensual sex is enjoyable.
4. He who is without sin should cast the first stone:

The reason why this is generating so much ire is because he is called a senior pastor of a church. I am forced to wonder if Ese would have made a case on this, if he wasn’t a pastor. If he wasn’t just another rich, married man. I am forced to think about how much she holds marital values and if she had never dated a married man except the pastor. If you’ve never committed fornication before, If you’ve never committed adultery before, if you’ve never cheated on your partner or wife before, cast the first stone.

5. Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo abused his office:

If the allegations are true, then one can say that the ‘man of God’ abused his office, the oath he took and the mantle placed on his hand. He can be said to have used the power of the position for the wrong motives. This has a ripple effect on all other people who occupy the same positions all over the world.

6. There is more than meets the eye:

Hey but you only heard a side of the story and you’re quick to judge. Listen to the other side of coin. Are there things Ese isn’t saying? Are there other things that transpired between them that have not been stated in her epistle? This is only how far you can know.

7. This is not a legal matter:

This is not a legal issue at all, except was on the grounds of rape. The only person that is expected to make a legal action is his wife, and that would be a case of filing for divorce on grounds of mutual infidelity. Ese enjoyed it thoroughly and regretted her actions

8. Religious leaders are the victims:

These are tough times for religious leaders all over the world. They have to watch their speech and thoughts all over the world. If you are a religious leader and you oppose same-sex marriage in America, you are seen as a demented opinionist who needs primary schooling on what human rights are. If you are seen wearing a turban on your head, you are closely watched because you are believed to have affiliations with terrorists all over the world. If you own a large church, you are believed to be deceiving people and using their hard-earned more to ‘live large’. The world believes that religious leaders should take the blow and remain silent even if they are innocent.

8. Go and sin no more:

The deed is done. Ese has regretted her actions. The ‘man of God’ involved is getting all the chastisement of his life. Names have been called. It’s time to move on. It’s not time to form a movement. It’s time to move forward for all ministries involved. Ese should move on with her life. The accused should look for ways to amend the damage and move his ministry forward. He will lose members but some will remain with him.

9. Let the institution be:

That the leader of COZA has faltered does not make the church an unholy place to worship. We must filter the institutions from the servants in the institutions and let them resolve their conflict as mature people. That a country has leaders who mismanage its funds does not make the all the citizens of the country corrupt. The international society and media do not understand this fact as well.

10. Wisdom is profitable to direct:

Just in case there’s another Ese Walter out there who is having an affair with a married man or another ‘man of God’, rather than destroying more than you can create, find ways of resolving the issues or have the courage to move on. What becomes of the Monica Lewinsky’s who try to battle the Clinton’s – nothing. The world moves on. You might be a Dominique Strauss-Kahn for a moment but your shame gets erased someday and tables turn. Whistle-blowing is awesome but you should always do it with wisdom. Wisdom is profitable to direct. Don’t be another Edward Snowden.

Cheers!

Segun Adekoye About Segun Adekoye
A rolling stone. A Netnerd. An idea laboratoire. I'm a strategist. Personal Blog. Follow me on Twitter @segunsd

31 Comments

  • Why do I think this article is a bit tilted in support of the Pastor? No mention of the possibility of the man having other affairs with other women besides Ese. No mention of the growing trend of pastors being accused of infidelity. Rather most of the blame goes to Ese and the writer thinks there’s more she’s not telling us. That’s life for you. Whenever there’s a sex-related scandal, the woman gets the axe while the man is scolded with a pen knife. Shaking my head!

  • Thank you for coming out with this response. My challenge is why did everybody beleived this Ese girl story straight without a second though. Everybody(at least a larger percntage) of people online believed. Didn’t it occur to them she might be lieing. I have seen a situation where a lady mounted a podium in Church to share testimony, she ended up telling the entire congregation their Senior Pastor impregnated her and she had aborted for him 3 times in presence of the wife. The Pastor ended up casting out the demon that was speaking through her.

    Our excitement in bring down the Church and the man of God is unbeleivable. It is like what we have waiting for to happen. But my take if you are really wise, it is not every issue you comment on. God will help us.

  • Seriously SEGUN you can’t be here or there…
    What do you stand for?
    Many “men of God” have abused women, men and children and you journalist can”t come up straight and face the truth “which will set us free”. rather you sugarcoat the truth starring you in the face.
    Senator Yerima is honest and open about his vices at least

    • Thanks for this jare. I’m getting sick of the way writers esp male writers are approaching this issue. No wonder rape cases can never end in Nigeria.
      …….and 360nobs well done for not posting my original comment. *rolls eyes*

  • This is a great piece and should go beyond this website. i also think there is more to why this story is out now. there could be an issue of a blackmail somewhere such as pay me or i let the cat out. THIS IS GOOD AND MAKES EVERYONE WANT TO HAVE A SECOND THOUGHT ON THE WHOLE ESE STORY. MORE EMPHASIS ON THE POINT THAT SHE WASNT RAPED. ALSO IN MY OPINION, SHE ALWAYS HAD A THING FOR THE ‘PASTOR’ WHO IS OBVIOUSLY A HANDSOME MAN.

  • He preached to me,he delivered me from bondage,he touched my life,he showed me heaven,he made me a born again,he taught me how to read bible nd so wat does all these make him JESUS CHRIST or ENOCH in d bible dat cannot SIN….. plz pastor at least come out nd admit or deny it. so dat d case could b put to rest once and 4all. rather than sending all these mouthpiece of urs to b ur advocate

  • wheather her story be true or false, the deed is already done. the pastor never forced her, she had her choice and she made it. but hey! Ese if your story is false. I pity you because you have touched an anoited child of God and God would not fold His arms and watch you walk free. Meanwhile I counsel the pastors wife to pls be wise in handling this issue.

  • When I read this writeup, I didn’t take note of d name until I got to the place u tried to justify that Ese wasn’t abused ofcourse, I scrolled back to d name, its a guys name. Why am I not surprised.
    Let me educate u a bit, women have slept with men they consider wise or they have respect for. Not because she enjoys it but a part of her doesn’t know how or fears to confront the man. She’s feels she should be elated because she is picked from the whole lot, while her senses are screaming ‘this isn’t right’ she would rather endure than confront hoping for an eventual escape.Its a strong sign of pOor eslf-esteem and of a woman who has had some abuse in her past. It is a form of abuse, abuse on the trust placed on the man to be her guide. Then he brings up the ‘don’t touch my anointed crap’, that’s bull! Thats oppression.
    Mr Biodun(if story is right) has abused the trust placed on him by his members.I hope he would be honest enough to look intothe mirror and work on his flaws.As for Ese(if her story is true) needs to work on herself too.

  • Foriam not ashame of the gospel of Christ. Ese forgive and forget. Better is not a enough, the best is yet to come. God bless you.

  • For iam not ashame of the gospel of Christ. Ese forgive and forget. Better is not a enough, the best is yet to come. God bless you.

  • For I am not ashame of the gospel of Christ. Ese Walter forgive and forget. Better is not a enough, the best is yet to come. God bless you.

  • @Ay I jus saw ur comment n it pissed me off, what do u mean by saying she lied. Is this the sort of popularity a person would want by making headlines on such a story. In as much as i agree with some of the writeup here, u can’t say pple shld move on. So what? More pple shld get deceived. This is such a dissapointment. Nigeria has turned into something else with the level we have taken Christianity to. Shame!!!

  • nice piece segun…..

  • Segun it is sad an disturbing that this is your view on this issue, especially as I just found out we were old school mates from Kings College.

    first you start by likening preachers (Men of God) to politicians, It is clear you have no clear understanding of Christianity and your jaundiced opinion is both sadening and misleading. It seems to me you are one of the many brainwashed who see their pastors as foster Gods and worship them. It is appalling how you blatantly make excuses for a hypocrite and sex addict hiding behind the pulpit.

    It is one thing to make a mistake and another to persistently fornicate while masquerading as a servant of our Lord. What can I say, this is the order of the day, false prophets leading a brainwashed set, while they plunder the resources meant for the work of God and violate their young women. Speaking of a special kind of grace that permits adultery.. Very sad.

  • @Segun Adekoye: I am totally disappointed wt u! And am surprised dat Noble Igwe allows dz sorts of rejoinders on his blog. Afta reading ur piece, I can but doubt ur sense of justice n fairness. It is so evident u blame Ese for almost all dat took place. At some point, I began to wonder if u r sexist or tribalist!! (All dat follows from dis point is on d assumption dat Ese’s account is true). No concrete word for the likes of Biodun on d pulpit who go on deceiving d masses, not practising what they preach while chastising others, committing adultery, abusing d trust placed on them by the congregants, etc. @Segun Adekoye: am ashamed of u n ur beliefs… Ese, on ur own part, its hard 2undastand ur comin out now wailing ‘foul’; u r an adult n I dnt buy d idea u were manipulated, or abused sexually…d act wz consensual n mutual,n reason seems to betray d fact u enjoyed it while it lasted..Pls next time, as an adult, differentiate between sex wt d married n unmarried. Having said dat, the likes of Pastor Biodun shd not b spared one bit,n indeed numerous unsuspecting ladies r at risk of being ‘used’, abused, even raped by wolves in sheep’s clothing such as Biodun Fatoyinbo. Dis encounter, I demand, shd b thoroughly exposed, discussed and analysed. If there r concrete photo, audio and video evidences, that will b wonderful. Enof of so-called MOGs deceiving d innocent,n brainwashing them. Imagine (mis)using remarks like: “Touch not my anointed”, and “I’l teach u a level of Grace u don’t understand”..Hahaha!! The is first remark is blackmail, while d 2nd is deceit. I am a guy,n dis trend must stop. If, indeed, Ese’s story is true, then dis man has to be rubbished; except her story isn’t. Meanwhile, any well-meaning man, let alone Pastor, in dz shoes, must com out to defend himself, his wife n kids (family), his church n congregants, and may evn pursue a lawsuit in defence of his name, if d story is false. Though som voice in me tels me thr wnt b any (reasonable) response from d Pastor, am stil expecting to hear from the man Biodun Fatoyinbo if he is innocent of dz claims. Happy Sunday All.

  • You couldn’t ve said it any better and all those ladies screaming that the girl was victimized,did God give you instints so you could ignore them?fyi I AM A WOMAN AS WELL.from her story,which i believe is true but not an abuse as she claims,she had all the feelings as to why she shouldn’t be there but she ignored it. God cannot be mocked.she sowed disobedience to God’s clear warnings and she’s reaping her reward.the pastor,may be a pathological sex addict as so many ppl r suggesting but there were girls that declined his offer.and he has to accept his weakness for women and work on it.

  • Thank you for this bro. In as much as the pastor has sinned and is very very wrong for his misconduct. That is if this story is true, as we are yet to hear from the pastor himself my question is why wait for more than 2yrs to come out bodly to say such a serious thing? So to me, I agree with u bros that there is more to this than meets the eyes. Thank you!

  • “Just in case there’s another Ese Walter out there who is having an affair with a married man or another ‘man of God……”

    Seriously???? 100% disappointed in this write-up. I rest my case on this issue.

  • A man of God is supposed to be disciplined and with very high integrity, that what makes him a man of God afterall. If Ese story is true then he has to openly come out and ask for forgiveness it could be tough but it is better, Ese should also repent, what was she thinking all the while, if a man is making advances at. you, you don’t a prophet to tell you. She should stop pretending and giving it a name. A lady should have her principles and forget excuses.

  • It’s obvious that Segun Adekoye is a bushman with no conscience. Don’t be anothe Edward snowden or what did you say? As a Nigerian-American, I can tell you that majority of Americans see Edward Snowden as a hero. You have clues about what you’re saying and you are one of the fools that will follow the so called pastors to hell fire because you so believe in them

  • I really worry about this debate. But we all have a right to our own opinion. I am a guy for starters. Ese’s story is so true. My decision is based on instinct and the simplicity and innocence of the narration.

    As a guy we have all tested women and put them in a position of no refusal. It is called seduction. It is just the way our brains are wired. She said she believed the plot started when she joined the PCU. That is when pastor started fingering her brain. All the book hotel and don’t book was his way of letting her brain work on the fact that he was in a hotel. It works. Booking a cab was a way of roping her into a favour that would lead to further correspondences. It also works. It was an innocent request. But it came from a man of authority and respect and she felt honoured.

    People argue that it happened for 7 days and then put Ese in the blame. Sad. That is the more reason why the pastor should have stopped. He had a better moral argument to have seen his mistake after day one. Yet people blame Ese for the length of time. It is easy for a bad guy to confuse a girl even though she knows he is bad. But imagine the confusion when he is your boss and worse still your spiritual leader (The epitome of goodness). Pastor took advantage and worked on the seductive influence and entrapment games that usually work on women. Even our girlfriends and wives were caught based on similar strategies. It works.

    People are asking for evidence. We all know deep down that the evidence exists. We just want to see it sha. I believe the church is working frantically to get the evidence and Ese is struggling with the impact of such a final move. It is not that simple. A lot of people will be affected and she is battling hard on what to do. For the pastor to have not denied it at the first opportunity is very questionable. Why didn’t he say “I DID NOT DO IT BUT God will fight my battle”. He was cunningly silent on the first part. Why would God tell him not to talk if he did not do it? How convenient. My God told me to tell him he is free to talk. He needs no robust statement. YES or NO will do.

  • Hi Adekoye.
    I read your view with interest and great sadness. I think your views on the subject are a reflection of what is largely wrong with this country. It’s sad that you think she wasn’t abused. Yes it was consensual. But sex with a horny 16 year old girl, however consensual the act may be, is still considered sexual abuse. When a father sleeps with his daughter, regardless of how consensual the act is, its considered abuse.

    Pastor Biodun was both a father to her as well as a symbol of authority. And he abused both. The truth is he lured her in and initiated the sexual marathon session. He took advantage of her weakness. When she protested, he spouted a bunch spiritual babble just so he could have his way

    You’re judging the case from the cold perspective of the male sex. You’re not taking into consideration the emotional maelstrom that every woman deals with. Decision for a woman aren’t as black as white as it is for men. I’m not condoning her actions. But if you think that she wasn’t abused, then you’re a lot like the US senator who claims women who get raped don’t get pregnant.

    Your entire piece is obviously skewed towards Pastor. Your argument as it reads is that “Yes he sinned. But so what? It was consensual and he is a pastor who still helps and motivates people.”
    As far as opinions go, it’s a pretty sad one.

  • I think Pastor Biodun should say something rather than keeping quiet , there are some other related stories I read from some people in Ilorin where COZA started. I believe behind every rumour there must be am element of truth, those who are saying pastors too are normal people like us are wrong, go to the holy book and read more abt being a pastor that God himsef ordained n called not pastors that called themselves by decieving people. u can never compare pastors with politicians don’t just say! Temitayo

  • For every1 hauling insults @Segun, did u guys not read thru all he wrote? He never said she was lying or that a man of God should be worshipped or any of such, I agree with you Segun, totally, especially on the fact that Ese wasn’t abused, manipulation isn’t abuse,for instance, everytime a man tries to get a girl to go out with him on a date or something, some kind of mind game is played (however minute) on a daily basis, manipulations go on. I was ABUSED @ age 7 and though I couldn’t have done anything about it, seeing myself as “the victim” (for soooo long) did more harm than good for/to me. My point is, assumming this trully happened and you, Ese, were trully abused, quit being the victim, move on…..the deed has been done!

  • the pastor made mention of Joseph and potifer’s wife, the truth is that, the pastor knows whether he did it or not, and he knows that God knows all, he is being diplomatic, clear conscience fears no accusation, when Joseph was accused, he said no he didn’t do it, there is no hw he could hav kept his mouth shut and said that God asked him to say nothing. he denied it and left the rest to God. that is what should hav been expected of the pastor, knowing that the multitude of his flock and their faith is at the stake.

    • pastors should not use the grace they hav as posters to intimidate the followers, the office of a pastor , no matter the level of grace is a gift, just like other gifts of prophecy, apostles, teachers, evangelists. etc that doesn’t place them any higher than other true belivevers , everybody has his own calling, except the believer doesn’t know his place in the kingdom of God. some pastors have made themselves some kind of demigods over their members. this is error, the leaders should be the most humble of all.may God hav mercy on all.

  • Hi Segun, to say am astounded by some of the things you said in your write up would be an understatement. Though i kinda get it, you are a guy.While i agree with you that “men of God” are still men and that they are susceptible to the very same temptations that plague every other men, i disagree with a lot of your other opinions about this case but before i get into that i would like to say that i do not whether the accusations are true or not but even if they are i do not put the blame solely on Pastor Biodun , both of them are to blame. And whether or not these events happened it does not mean the guy is or isn’t a true man of God.
    Back to my points

    Firstly, how can u say she was not abused? because it was one week of non-stop sex and she enjoyed it? that’s ridiculous. Abuse does not have to be physical, ask a psychologist. Many women are stuck in abusive relationships, which are neither physical nor even verbal, once a person you conceive to have higher authority/power than you takes advantage of that relationship you are being abused. I agree with Tiwiex, guys know how these things work. you would be amazed by the staggering number of “strong women” caught up in these kind of relationships right now who don’t even know they are being abused.

    Secondly, u said religious men are the victims. That’s hilarious. While i know that the standards men of God are held up to are higher than those we the non-men of God are that in no way makes them victims. With greater authority comes greater responsibilities and expectations. Even the bible says to whom much is given much is expected. If i do not expect the Governor of my state or the president of my country to steal my money, commit adultery etc, then i damn well do not expect my spiritual authority to do it either since they all are men first before the positions assigned to them comes into play.

    Thirdly, while i agree that men of God do good things, have been a source of blessing to people etc. The good they do does not cancel out nor make irrelevant the bad they do. God judges each and every action separately and there are consequences for all actions whether good or bad.

    Fourthly, you say she should move on the deed has been done. i agree she should but i will ask you how easy has it been for you to take your own advice when life throws a curve-ball your way? its always easy to dish out advice when the shoe is on someone else’s foot. Allow the babe heal, we all heal in different ways and we take as much time as we each need to.

    Lastly, you cited Monica Lewinsky’s case, does the fact that nothing came out of it justify what happened? you remind of people who tell a victim of rape she/he was asking for it and that it has happened so move on. Clinton got away with it based on human laws, Pastor Biodun is a man under God’s authority, governed by God’s laws, standards and principles. He should understand and believe the principles of sowing and reaping and consequences of every action.
    In conclusion if these events did happan Pastor Biodun is the one in authority, he is the one with the power, he is the more matured one, he is the one with greater grace he simply should have known better.

  • Segun you are wrong, she was abused, do you know why? Mainly because the pastor was in a position of responsibilty and authority over her at least in their church. Careful Segun judging victims like this, l am sure you have female relatives, and possibly daughters. sometimes life can throw you a curveball when you least expect it and to the ones you love the most. To Ese – you are a brave child! I pray you heal soon and find the closure you so desperately need. Stay blessed remember we ALL make mistakes, just learn from this and become a better woman.

  • One thing is certain. There will be surprises for those of us who will make heaven as the people we probably thought will make it there may be one who we have condemned to hell while still on earth.

  • This would have been much easier if she said, “hey i shagged the pastor, he asked for it. I’m sorry and i hope he is too. We both enjoyed it but i now realise my sin.” curiously tho, she never spared a thought for the Pastor’s wife. Come sit on my laps and she did, all because he said ‘feel free.’ for an adult female? Come on!

  • I have never really commented on 360′s platform before but Ur last point really troubles me, it made me spend a lot of time thinking about how enablers like you- who believe in not speaking up and out against injustice (on whatever level it is committed) can easily turn a blind eye and deaf ear, while i respect the fact that you are entirely entitled to your opinion, are u implying that in the face of wrong doing, we should act like we don’t know or keep quiet? Remember that “if you are neural in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor”. We now live in times where we prefer to quietly slap people on the wrists because they are rich, popular, powerful or beautiful, rather than call them to order or publicly call them out, sad times indeed!

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