During fights/arguments, we aren’t usually ourselves. We are so angry that we sometimes even say things that we clearly don’t mean.
The downside of these things however is that we might say things that we wish we can take back or worse, things that destroy the relationship we have with our partner.
Some of these things include;
1. This relationship/marriage is over. Because we are so mad at the moment due to something our other half might have done, we say so many terrible and angry things and this sometimes can be one of those horrible things we say.
This statement is however very sensitive and in most cases makes the situation at hand worse. The truth is whoever you are saying it too begins to wonder if you’ve been thinking of it all along or if it was just a thing of the moment. The former is likely to linger more on their minds and if you truly didn’t mean this statement, you are in for a very bad time.
In most cases, the best thing to do is to sincerely apologise and go out of your way to make your partner realise you didn’t mean it. Now know that they might not immediately accept your apology, its only normal. Take baby steps and allow them come round at their own time.
2. You will never change. Even if the person did this the last time, do not refer to the last time. The difference between this time and the last time is that both of you have moved on and you’re expected to have forgiven whatever behaviour he/she exhibited that put you off the last time. Referring to it would just dig up a whole lot of ugly situation and make what you have worse. You should have forgiven and treat each new issue like you don’t remember the last. Its healthier that way for relationships.
3. I am not angry. When you clearly are. You might be angry and not want to talk at the time but don’t say you aren’t angry when you are clearly fuming.just tell your partner to give you a little time while you cool off and get to that point where you can talk without so much anger.
4. You need to talk right now. Whether you like it or not, sometimes “right now” is just not the right time to talk. If you are both angry or your partner is angry and he/she says he isn’t ready to talk just yet, you have to really back off and give them space.
If you push it, chances are that it’ll blow up in both your faces.
5. You are just a child/idiot/every other bad name in the book. This is wrong on so many levels and it makes you come off as a bitter individual. You. Are. Allowed to be mad not so bitter you resort to name calling. Tread carefully. Calm down before you say more.
tomilola – has written 258 posts on this site.
I make stuff up for a living and more importantly everybody's entertainment. You'd either love the series or love it ;-) Don't hesitate to drop your comments about my series on here or via twitter, @tomilola_coco.