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Alleged Pastoral Infidelity: Ese Walter Narrates Her Affair With Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo Of COZA

Alleged Pastoral Infidelity: Ese Walter Narrates Her Affair With Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo Of COZA

#COZA has been trending all morning  on the Social Micro-blogging site – twitter. The reason – A former female member of the Commonwealth Of Zion Assembly (COZA) Church – Ese Walter opens up on her alleged affair with Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo

It is important to note that as at the time of this allegation, no official statement from COZA or Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo has been released.

Read below Ese Walter’s narration of her affair with Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo as found on her blog – http://esewalter.wordpress.com/2013/08/22/my-affair-with-pastor-biodun-fatoyinbo-of-coza/ and share your thoughts below


MY AFFAIR WITH PASTOR BIODUN FATOYINBO OF COZA

WARNING!

This article contains stories that most ‘church people’ don’t want to address. So, if you are one of those living in denial and covering up crap going on in the church, this is where you should stop reading. Thanks for stopping by.

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Now, for the rest of us, please sit down and switch on your open mind. I want to talk about something I have kept bottled up inside for longer than necessary. I have also decided to use real names, as my defense for any accusation of slander is justification. I tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. However, feel free to throw your doubt around but know that I am past the shaming game (where victims of abuse are shot down by blame) I am no longer a victim but a survivor who is sharing her experience to help others caught in same web of abuse, guilt and shame. We only get to live once right? So here, it goes…

I recently came to know this event too was abuse (recently here means about 6 months ago). It has literally been eating me up having to drive by another billboard advertising preachers, or hearing his name, or even trying to ask about the validity of the entire salvation story and whether or not there is a God that truly watches over his people. That being said, I’m just going to say it as it is. This is a recap of my affair with Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo of COZA (Common Wealth Of Zion Assembly) Abuja chapter. This affair I have come to know as a form of abuse as you would see the different elements of abuse very present.

I met Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo many years ago. I was getting bored of the church I was attending and someone suggested COZA. At the time, I had never heard about it. My friend said, go there, I’m sure you would enjoy the word. But he also gave me a strong warning. He said he would advice that I remain a member only and not join the workforce. I agreed. The first time I attended COZA, I felt it was my church and decided I was going to plant my ass there. About eleven months had gone by and I was still attending the services quietly and faithfully. I really did like the church. One day a worker in the church approached me that the senior pastor wanted to see me.

Me? I thought. Why would the senior pastor want to see me? Not the second man but the head nigga in charge? Ok na! I started to think my sin was oozing so bad the pastor could tell I needed Jesus. (Poor old me.) I saw him at the end of the second service (they had two services at the time) and he said to me that he would like me to work with him. I knew I had no intentions of becoming a pastor so I had to ask in what capacity. He said he’d like for me to join a department, preferably the Pastoral Care Unit (PCU).

A few weeks later, against my friend’s advice not to join the workforce, I was a PCU member. All of a sudden, I had some status in church. I was ‘somebody.’ Dress had to be on point, hair, shoes and what not… As workers, we were literally trying to outshine each other or so it seemed. Anyways, I felt like I was a privileged member of an elite circle. Hehehe. (It did feel good though, for the most part.)

About a year after joining the workforce, I was on my way to London for a Masters degree program that would last two years. As was the rule for workers travelling, I wrote to say I would be away for 2 years and Pastor Biodun Fotoyinbo asked that I keep in touch by sending him my number and email when I had settled in London so he “makes sure I continue in the faith” because according to him, people loose their faith when they leave home and he wanted to make sure I didn’t. So, on that note, as soon as I got a phone line in London, I was sure to call ‘my pastor’ to say I arrived safe, had settled in and also gave my phone number. 

We had spoken a few times especially when COZA started to stream online. I always watched and would give feedback on quality of production and share a little bit on the challenges I faced settling in a new land. One evening, Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo called me that he was coming to London and needed me to help him make some hotel bookings as the person who was meant to do it couldn’t get it done (this was rather strange as I had never been involved in his travel itinerary) Later that day, he said it had been sorted and my help would not be required but that he would like me to arrange a cab to pick him up from Heathrow. I was happy to help my pastor from Nigeria and even saw it as a privilege. (I would later come to learn that all of this was a calculated attempt to hatch a plan that I suspect was set in motion when I was asked to join the workforce.)

The cab guy was there to get him the next day and when he arrived, he called to ask why I didn’t accompany the cab to pick him up (again, this was strange but I stopped my mind from overanalyzing the situation as I knew I had no business with his visit to London) About two hours later, he called me and said he would like to see me. When I arrived his hotel, I called from the reception but he asked that I come upstairs. I got to the room and tried to stop my mind from thinking why I was going to his room. As he opened the door and invited me in, I had to speak to my heart to stop its palpitations. My better judgment asked me not to go into the room but the kind of reverence I had for Pasotr Biodun Fatoyinbo bordered on fear and I steeped into that room. 

“Care for a drink?” Asked Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo.

“No sir,” I said.

“You don’t have to be shy Ese, even if it’s alcohol, feel free and order what you want.” I wasn’t sure I heard my pastor asking me to order alcohol. I imagined it was a test and ignored the voice inside that was saying, “I’d have henny and coke please.” He proceeded to ask how I had been coping in London and if I was a committed member of any church. He also said he thought there was something special about me and wanted to know that I had not strayed from my faith. I really thought he had heard I was doing something I shouldn’t while in London but tried my best to focus on the conversation instead of my straying thoughts. He kept telling me to relax and feel comfortable with talking to him. After a few minutes, he asked that we go to the roof of the hotel as his room was a pent suite and had a connecting door to the roof.

While there, he sat on a reclining chair and asked me to come sit on his laps. This was a bit awkward for me and I froze for a moment as I asked why. He said he had told me to feel free with him and loosen up. I found myself strolling to sit on his laps. At that moment, I felt like a little girl who was experiencing something her mind couldn’t fathom. He asked me to kiss him and all I could think about was seeing him preach on the pulpit back in COZA Abuja, Nigeria, which was my home church. He again said ‘feel free Ese.’ And asked again, that I kiss him.

A few hours later, let’s just say, we were rolling under the sheets. It felt as though my mind had paused. I am not saying I was jazzed, (although it’s possible I was in some trancelike state and didn’t know it but I just was so afraid that I couldn’t say or think otherwise.) That was the beginning of this affair. A sexual affair that went on for a little over a week, DAILY!

I can hear somebody’s mind thinking, ‘well, you weren’t raped.” And I remember a pastor I opened up to when I couldn’t take all the mind games asking if I seduced him. No, I didn’t seduce him and no, I wasn’t raped but I felt trapped in this affair. Come to think of it, how could I have seduced him when I wanted nothing from him? I mean, I was too busy minding my business in London trying to get through with my masters program and I was overly comfortable. And even if I wanted to seduce anyone, it wouldn’t be a married man, not to mention a married pastor.  

What I couldn’t reconcile the whole time, was how the same person who preached against the very things we were doing (i.e drinking in pubs, fornicating, committing adultery) was the same person endorsing and encouraging it.

At some point, I got really confused about what Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I were doing that I had to ask how he handles it. I will never forget what he said to me. He said and I quote, “I will teach you a level of grace that you don’t understand.” My mind couldn’t fathom that somehow grace was enough covering for not just fornication on my path, adultery on his path and the many lies that was bound to follow what we were doing that was clearly abominable. I somehow dealt with the thoughts and fears that followed on my path. He had said to me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend and he would take me around the world and spoil me with money and things. Somehow, money had never been one of the things that motivated me (I am from a home where all my needs have been adequately met) In all my ‘badness’ through finding myself, I never did things I did for money but more of rebellion against rules and authority.

Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo also said to me that he had a dream where I exposed what was happening to the media. Said it was all over the place and that people were calling me the girl that caused chaos in COZA. He also said I should remember the bible said to “touch not God’s anointed.” I immediately started to rebuke the devil and said I could never do anything like that. I was almost swearing with my entire family as I thought really I had touched God’s anointed by submitting my body to be used. Little did I know at the time that all of these were ways to mess with my mind and even manipulate my thoughts.

Fast-forward a few months later, I was back in Nigeria and my church had become uncomfortable. Anytime I sat in church and listened to Pastor Biodun preach, I felt shame. I finally sent him a message saying I wasn’t comfortable anymore. I was confused and needed to talk about what had happened. He said I should meet him to talk and I did. It was a really weird meeting for me especially when he tried to kiss me at our meeting. I finally realized at this point that he couldn’t help me. I thought God was angry with me and I couldn’t pray so I decided to withdraw completely from COZA. This was the beginning of my mental torture. I couldn’t talk to my family because already, I was the only one attending a different church and somehow my mom never liked the idea. As the days went by I tried to use drinking and smoking to cover up the deep shame and guilt I was battling with. But as soon as the high was over, the thoughts came back and I felt stuck like I couldn’t move forward.

I felt I had to talk to someone and I decided to speak to my then good friend, Ernest Akale but unfortunately for me, Mr. Ernest did not have the capacity to hold what I said to him. He broke down completely the days that followed and I found myself having to pause how I was feeling and what I was struggling with to help my friend be strong. After a while, he withdrew from not just me but his then fiancé and friends. I had to then tell the fiancé what had caused it (she suspected we were having an affair so I had to clear the air) To my surprise she was a lot stronger than her man and told me to suck it up (I’m paraphrasing). She said if she were me, she wouldn’t leave the church but stay to torment Pastor Biodun and collect money from him. Ok! That sounded extreme for me, as my intention was not to blackmail but to heal my broken self. Anyways, I finally found the courage to speak to my then unit head who said he was going to talk to Pastor Biodun but didn’t have the liver to do so. Before long, the story was spreading and naturally getting twisted.

I went to a new church and it seemed like the COZA bug had chased me there. The pastor would always refer to COZA as some example and each time that was done, it seemed like a spear was thrust through my chest. One day, I broke down in the service and started crying uncontrollably, as I couldn’t take another mention of COZA and the pictures it painted in my head.

Very long, boring story cut short, for the last 5 months I gave the whole church thing a big space and break. I wasn’t sure I believed in God. I wasn’t sure I understood what it meant when people said ‘Jesus saves” and I definitely wasn’t sure how to deal with the mental torture that was affecting not just me but my relationships with family and friends. I was very unstable, fearful and worst of all guilty. I got a chance to talk to Pastor Folarin of COZA Lagos Chapter, popularly called Pastor flo about everything. I made an effort to reach out to him because I realized the right thing to do was talk to an elder in the church and seek some sort of remedy to a wrong I believed had been done me. Instead, Pastor Flo said, Pastor Biodun had confessed to him and they had ‘talked’ about it and somehow that was supposed to be Ok. He asked what it was I wanted coming to talk to him about it when I did, I told him I realized what happened between Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo and I was wrong and not just that I felt abused and manipulated. I also said I thought it was wrong for Pastor Biodun to go on preaching without taking time to deal with his personal character flaws. I said I thought he was danger to all the young women that attended the church. Come to think of it, maybe he meant if I wanted something monetary or material (as someone had suggested when I opened up to her) but the truth is, I never wanted his money (or is it the church member’s money.) All I wanted was to meet with him and have him accept that he misled me, betrayed his wife and the church he pastors. I wasn’t the only lady in COZA who had been a victim of his sexcapades and manipulative patterns but I was the one who could come back after months of struggle with not just my faith but also my affair with him. And I wanted to set things right. I wanted to talk to Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo maybe for closure and I felt like I needed an apology because he played the “touch not my anointed” card to keep me locked in guilt, shame and fear when all along it was a calculated plan and I dare say, it started when he asked me to join the workforce.

Not to mention the audacity to talk about teaching me a level of grace I didn’t understand. I had no intention of understanding a grace that would permit me to go on doing things that were wrong and what’s worse having to carry the burden for almost a year.

Different surprising advises came up in the weeks that followed the rumour making rounds. I was told to hush because Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo had been a cultist in the past and could send people to shut me up. All my so-called friends in COZA withdrew from me and treated me like I had the plague. What was worse was Pastor Flo finally saw my then pastor to ‘talk’ about what had happened with Pastor Biodun and lied that it happened once and was a mistake. My question then became, ‘do these people even care how broken I had become?’ ’do they care about the emotional and spiritual welfare of the people they were pastoring?’ The sad answer was NO. Most of us old members of COZA kept leaving but they couldn’t care less. What was important was to keep growing the church and having more and more cars with stickers that read “More than enough.”  Back then, I always felt horrible when I saw another car drive past me with the sticker. I was breaking, I was struggling but no one could help. All they could do was ask me to hide so Pastor Biodun’s goons don’t hurt me. And then the interesting one was if I had evidence to prove my claim. Let me just say here that, it isn’t a claim, it’s a confession to free me from all of the guilt and shame I have had to live with for no reason at all. (That being said, I have evidence to prove all I have said here, the latest being a 58 minutes recording of my meeting with Pastor Flo a few months back)

This is my confession and I cannot begin to describe how much weight has been lifted off of my shoulders just pouring the truth out about what went down. So, to all my ex COZA friends gossiping about me, get your facts right. To those who said they’d help me deal with the pain but didn’t, I forgive you, I have learnt how to deal with it and I am doing just fine. To those who fear for my safety saying Pastor Biodun would send people to shut me up, I really have gone past fearing for my life. To live is gain and to die is Christ (or how does Paul say it again?) And to the only person who ever supported me through it all, thank you, I am learning to be brave. Please don’t think I am perfect in all of this but in line with living my authentic life and putting all forms of abuse behind me, this is where I press the stop button and stop the bleeding. This is where I break the silence and call the church to stand up for what it has been commissioned to do. If you will not enter the Kingdom, please don’t stop others who are trying to enter.

I still remember when I used to nurse the idea of digging up emails, text messages, hotel billings (as once I used my card to pay for his room when his master card failed to work) to prove there was an affair. It was pathetic. Why for the love of heaven was I trying to dig up evidence? I am satisfied setting the record straight. I am ready for any shaming or bashing that would follow because the truth is, because of what I have suffered and come through, I am really not moved by what people say or think about me anymore. I am a stronger woman and a damn abuse survivor seeking to connect with other victims of abuse to show them how to deal with the shame, hurt and guilt and how to come out stronger. Turning their mess into their message.

I am Ese Walter and I have gone through all forms of abuse from family, boyfriends, my ex pastor and some strangers not to break me, but so I stand and so I qualify to help victims. My scars have qualified me and when all is said and done, I will still be standing. I AM WOMAN, I BEND, I DON’T BREAK!

Cheers to the freaking weekend!!!

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67 Comments

  • Wow. I don’t even know what to say.

    • You are ever bit as guilty as the pastor, Ese. Yes, one does not expect that behavior from a ‘Man of God’ but likewise, one does not expect that behavior from a ‘church-going woman either. You knew exactly what was coming and you walked right into it willingly with your eyes wide open. So it happened the first time, why did it continue?? There was no abuse. Just despicable behavior between two adults who should have known better. You are both guilty of the same thing. No sympathy here. You are trying to play the ‘victim’ card. “Survivor of abuse”…hogwash! You are attempting to.act ‘devil may care’ and ‘cavalier’ about the matter, however, I guarantee that will not soothe your conscience. You will have to take full responsibility for your part in this matter and own up to your wrong as well. Blaming him, the church, God, etc, etc will not absolve you from your part in this illicit affair with a married man…forget pastor! God does not make our decisions for us…we do! He has already given us instructions to live by. They are clearly written in the Scriptures. We disregard them and are disobedient then have the gall to question His existence when things go wrong? How do we figure that?

  • My Lord…

  • I don’t make it a habit to believe everything I read but I don’t disbelieve this. May God judge the wrong

    • You’ve said it all and i wished everyone had your sense of reasoning rather than making others feel so small.

  • lmao. i am rolling with laughter. abuse? abuse? oh gosh nigerians. we really have a way with words dont we?. abuse? guilt? is this girl smoking tissue paper wrapped in ogbona leaves? abuse?! pssh! shame! shame on u for slandering english! did he force you to join the workforce? did he force you to come to his hotel room? did he force u to kiss him? did he force u to spend a week giving him good loving? did u say no when he said come 2 my room and lemme enter the place? oh no u didnt. u carried ur big head to pent house suite and kissed pesin now ure coming to say u were abused. oga madam pls u sef find reclining chair and rest. abuse my left butt cheek! you are of age. u had d free will and self choice to say NO when all these were happening and jejely pack your legs and go back to school. u came bk and still went to church. aunty biko if u dont know whats doing you go check ur hormones. pffft! abuse. long hiss. u never start. ok now that u have said what happened how has this added to the price of kpomo? u evenh used ur money to pay for hotel for him . and u there screaming abuse. abeg go n sell ur evidence to 1 akara seller. the papers will be useful to her. or very well put ur masters degree to use n get a damn job. lmao thats if ur ‘guilt’ allowed u get it. hahahahha . iranu. oshi o da nile pako. those who live in glass houses dont throw stones. rubbish .

    • Corret talk!!!!

    • chill with the ignorance

    • Abuse is diverse my friend. There is a form of abuse that is subliminal, especially flowing down from someone with a higher authority or in the position of power and respect. Religion is the opium of the masses Karl Marx said, he was partly right. Used by the right charismatic individual our fear of a supreme being and the quest for a paradise in the after life would put us under the control of the most manipulative, narcissistic maniac hiding under the robe of a seer. This girl, if her story is true is the victim of abuse. An abuse that has rendered many faithless, content in the guiltlessness that atheism gifts them. Some people blow themselves up for some god you know, they are victims of abuse too, of brainwash and ‘religious cultism’ just like this lady.

    • Typical Nigerian attitude. Has she asked that she wants anything out of revealing her story? She has done for her own piece of mind so why does that bother you.

      Why the insults? You are in no position to judge so let her be.

  • Your name suits you @yabaleftmaterial

  • Your story does not make any damn sense. U should get a life

  • I think d gal is stupid.I read the write up and dere was never any admission to a mistake on her part.all d problems she tact fully laid on the pastors feet..pastor dis and dat..sshe is very crazy!I feel so exasperated!feel like callin her filthy names..is dis not wat happens everyday..guy tries to lure gal wit money nd all..don’t go acting like he is a pastor is any diff..he had no spiritual control over u ..u dumbass..u broke down?really bitch?was he ur first..we dint hear of broken hymens here..ode!no go find work ..mtchew.waste of my time commentin sef.

    • Thank you oh!!! My thoughts exactly….Not one time did she take blame…coming here and now playing victims.

  • Hmmm! Ese, I feel for your pains and confusion my Sister. Your story has the wring of truth and I pray that the good Lord would heal you and give you a clean slate to start with all over again. But by going public, you have wittingly or unwittingly brought the name of the Lord into disrepute. I understand the pains and the feeling of betrayal and being taken advantage of by someone you trust and, rightly so too, (If one can’t trust his Pastor, who else can you trust?) that made you go this extent. I respect your courage but going public with this is not the answer. I don’t presume to know how you feel or what you went though, the stigma, rumor and finger pointing, but I appeal to you for the Lord sake to take this story down. It serves only the devils purpose and you don’t come across as someone that would like to bring opprobrium to the name of the Lord. All the steps you said you took thus far are correct and accurate, let that suffice. Forgive yourself and forgive Pastor Abioudun and let it go. Remember the Lord’s prayer? “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” Leave Pastor Biodun to God and his conscience the Lord would bring him to judgement in due time day but for the souls in that assembly and the body of Christ sake, take this story down and leave vengeance to God, he will repay! Else you may just find your self becoming a minster of the devil being used to hurt the Kingdom of God. Be blessed.

    • You make no sense whatsoever. Agent of the devil? Talk to the Pastor about that. I am appalled by your take, a woman has been taken advantage of and told her story which is something laudable considering the backward culture of Nigeria in this regard yet you blame her for hurting the kingdom of God? This double standard for the sake of Churches, most of which are money making ventures by the way pisses me the hell off. The man probably did a wrong thing, he is no different from anyone else, this woman has a right to tell her story after those Church elders failed in their responsibility to handle it seriously.

    • I beg to disagree. How has she brought the name of the Lord into disrepute? I think the sooner we started realizing there is a clear distinction between ‘pastors’ and God, the better for all mankind. He can never be the Lord, he’s just a pastor which can also be seen as just a title. Nothing makes him more righteous than a member of his church.

      So you rather she kept quite through all this? I can’t ascertain she’s said the truth but can’t this happen? And if it was true, then stories like this are there to help people make informed decisions so if she has done this for her own sanity, then let her be as that’s the best way she thought of regaining her sanity.

  • @yabaleftmaterial you seem to be a very callous and insensitive person. At least you need to acknowledge that the pastor was someone she looked up to and there was inbalance in the relationship. Yes she should have been bold and said no but the fact that there was sexual advance from her spiritual mentor means even if she was able to say no it will affect her faith for a very long time. You need to quit blaming victims.

    • you sound slightly dumb. You made sense until that last sentence of yours. How does saying no to a pastor affect your faith for a long time. Pastors are men and women like you and i. When she sat on his laps did she not feel his dick get hard and warm? Did he need to pray in tongues before entering her? Did she have an angelic visitation after he ejaculated? Did he bless the condom before wearing it?
      What is so spiritual about it? Dude sinned and in the process failed God,his calling and his wife.
      The girl failed God and her sin is no less cos she did it with an ‘anointed one’.

    • what is this one saying? my father is someone i look up to. does it mean that God forbid my father apporaches me with sexual advances that i should heed because he is my mentor? so it affects her faith so bloody what? so u choose affecting your faith over your dignity? u choose to sleep with a man because he is ur spiritual mentor and then come out here to blab about how he lured u. did he tie a rope to her neck n drag her there? did he tie her to d bed n sleep with her. pls get out with all this sentimental nonsense u throwing in here bro

    • @activeGhman she is not a victim, she should have said NO!! not only because he is a pastor but for goodness sake he is married and I bet she is very close to his wife… Just for one moment forget the guy is a pastor, from Ese’s blog and her pictures you can tell she is not a push over. Playing the victim/ abuse card, is she 10 years old? she had sex with the guy the first time and went back for more and probably fell in love with the guy and wants more… Who knows? the concluding part of her story just doesn’t add up. I am not in support of the pastor ooo. but making it look like the guy did everything all by himself doesn’t make her a good cop.

    • @Idak, @yabaleftmaterial, at least she is confessing her sins and that way she can repent and bring closure to the affair. By continuing to deny and sweeping everything under the carpet the pastor could continue to do the same to other vulnerable women and that will do longer term harm to him and the kingdom of God than coming out and confessing your sins. Remember whatever is kept in the dark will eventually come to light especially for a public figure such as the pastor

  • this story is sooo touching.. i feel for her on a different level…
    1. Ese Walter is not stupid.. i dont know her but a lot of girls are victims of the same thing… im a christian n i attend RCCG and yes.. iv changed parishes a few times because some pastors wanted to explain a different stage of grace to me…
    2. Ese needs to understand that as a christian, shes getting it all wrong… Salvation is personal.. no b pastor go give u.. so u fuck him, if God go judge u, pastor no fit stand as defense witness..
    3. i just think the devil is having fun with Ese’s case.. im not saying the pastor isnt to be blamed (i even had my reserves about him) but this is a case of catching a thief n having him say “it was the devil”… if you sin, ask God for forgiveness and forgive the pastor so God ll forgive you (the Lords prayer)..
    4. as stupid as a lot of my frnds think i am for saying this, i believe i can hear from God through even a prostitute.. even a dog.. biodun has shared some messages that have touched me and a lot of ppl but i never forget, hes as human as i am.. i still have sex oh.. even cheated on my boyfriend b4.
    5. our greatest religion is love.. so for all of us that carry religion on our head, if we dont love others, we r just joking.. if she had this love for pastor bioduns wife n family, no amount of grace preached would have let her do 1 straight week of moanin n pls-dont-stop with him
    6. judgement is not for me or anyone.. bt i can percieve this might only get worse for her…
    looking at her facebook page self, it seems she wants attention. for whatever shes going through, shes nt the worst church goer n its nt d worst that has hapd 2 a church goer

  • i totally agree with you @adegboye Ipinoluwa….I also have been abused before and it did no good to give credit to the devil…Only God can heal such pain…Leave the pastor, let the Lord and only him judge but please my sister, do not be an instrument of the devil….
    I will pray for you continually that our almighty Lord heals your broken and confused heart cos i tell you, it might have been really confusing being in those shoes…i dont wish it on my worst enemy.
    God bless you.

    • You guys keep saying let only God judge the pastor but you are judging the girl? Does God have different standards? Pls don’t give me 1 Chronicles 16:22, i abeg.

    • @ Idak, My dear, the thing tire me o. Such double standard.

  • She is guilty and so is he but there is something he has that gives him an advantage and that is power! It is not called power and authority for nothing. That is why through out history in hindsight we wonder how a man like Hitler could control a nation and make once sane people commit such atrocities against people they once ate, laughed and worked with. It is not as easy to say no to someone with power and charisma and that is why God expects more or we too from someone of authority.

    She was not raped but she was lured. He knew she looked up to him and he knew how to use it. I once knew a man who lied and gave his personal details to a fake movie star and yet all the while the movie star was an impersonator. It is by grace we can walk away. I say this because i have seen a lot and studied human behavior and know we are not strong as we think. As Nigerians think of how many times you keep silent or do something you don’t want to do because an ‘elder’ or ‘big man’ is involved. It might not be a big thing like this scenario but even in the small things, you have allowed yourself to be someone else…for that moment…to please or adjust to someone else. No, we are not as strong as we think.

    Her guilt is because she has a conscience and it takes a lot to see the man you are having an affair with preaching and sending down ‘God’s power.’ That she would feel nothing would be cold hearted. If anything it says a lot about the pastor. She slept with him but she questioned it. He slept with her and used God’s word to justify it. Who do you think God will show mercy to? I hope if it is all true that she forgives herself and move on and I hope Nigerians will stop putting ‘big men’ on a pedestal.

  • @Tutu and Ade, she is going public because no one helped her in private. Has it occur to you that God might be instigating this going public? Darkness should be brought to light, that is where it is killed. God’s reputation is not fragile, He can take care of Himself. He is Lord and doesn’t need us defending that.

    This does not bring glory to satan. It shames his instrument… hopefully. Many people think to keep things private helps them but many times in the hidden place is where the devil truly torments someone. That is why counselors encourage victims to ‘talk about it.’

    Whoever falls from faith because of this was never on a strong foundation. If we love God truly, we should be horrified that some pastor would use His words to engage in something satanic (lust, adultery, manipulation which is witchcraft, betrayal).

    • you are very right! she is parading the works of darkness by coming out and that is part of her repentance process…nigerians love to cover up stuff and hush hush about everything and thats why we are where we are..proverbs 28:13…whoever covereth his sin does not propser but whoever confesses and renounces them obtains mercy.

    • Kindly come over and give me a hug and a kiss in Christ.
      May grace be multiplied on your path and may you never lack mercy.
      In my view, this lady is still in serious need of healing. I have encouraged her in other blogs to go find a woman of God who will walk on a journey with her while she heals. A first sign of her healing is that she will stop playing the victim card.
      Even the pastor,after all he has done grace is still available to him. It is up to him whether he embraces it or not. He needs to eat a large slice of humble pie.
      Men of God must never forget t hat they are men at best.
      Congregation,read your bible for yourself and know God for yourself,stop falling victim to manipulation,seduction and control.

    • Well said Esen. Nigerians all know the truth but are scared to confront it. God surely does not need any human to fight his battles. I also don’t get this gist of bringing glory to satan.

      Going through this thread, i’ve read from others that have confessed of being abused as well but never came public. So because Ese came public she is bringing glory to satan? This is how best she can deal with herself and she’s done it. Please let no one judge.

  • I don’t make it a habit to believe everything i hear but i don’t doubt this lady. Doesn’t matter who she is or where she is coming from because this happens a lot and i personally have met many men who are like that and i thank God for his grace to overcome them. May God be the only judge.

  • So now what?

  • i cannot say she was abused but this is a mind game. Put yourselves in her shoes and think of what you would do if it were someone you thought highly of and respect so much. For me, the part where she made a terrible mistake was walking up to sit on his lap and kissing him. She should have simply walked away the moment he said “sit on my lap” and never have anything to do with him again. That way there won’t be story story.

  • @Esen i totally agree with you 100%

  • oh she has blame too and i think that is what is contributing to killing her inside. But that is why God in his wisdom says “flee from sexual sin.” The lure is strong! There is a point in a sexual sin where you will fall if you continue. No one is immune. Being in his penthouse was that point for her. I think a part of her was flattered by Him, think about how you would feel if obama asked you to dinner…without michelle or anyone present! Oh i’m sure she’s beating herself to death over her part. He does not care. It’s not his first time and frankly I believe he stopped fearing, loving or representing God long before any of this. His job is power and he’s loving it.

  • i’m not a COZA-ite, but if u dont have proof, SHUT UP! if u dont know, your story wont only hurt the man, his family and the “FAITH” of thousands of people’s what u trying to destroy.

  • Your were not abused but went into this willingly. Be careful as it is not only in churches that these are happening but offices, market places and homes were stories about fathers sleeping with their daughters. Such pastors abound and will they make heaven? If they confess their sins including you before they die but what is on a man’s mind as he dieing only the Creator knows.

  • It is not her responsibility to protect all those people. It is the leader who should be concerned for his followers. The pastor is responsible for all those mentioned.

    • you make too much sense.

    • Just for the wisdom of God that you display in your comments, i actually checked out your site and was ready to buy a bag from you until i found out you are not based in Nigeria.
      Much blessings,my sister.

  • This message is long but it is actually for Ese and i beg you to please read it..my heart really bleeds for you…you are a victim…despite the fact that you are of age and know your rights from wrong…you are a victim of being the lower rung in a power hierarchy. you became a victim from the very moment he started calling you to his office and calling you to book hotels and what not. that isn’t to say you were raped but you were abused.. abuse isn’t only physical or emotional….what you went through is abuse from someone in a position of authority—a pastor, a boss, a parent. Although you may have been a bit naive but i believe God wants to use this to rescue you…nonetheless you have done the right thing by speaking out. you have paraded the works of darkness just as Jesus did on the cross. Prov 28:13 says ‘Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper but whoever confesses and renounces them obtains mercy’

    What you are going through is not an isolated case. Many pastors come in the name of God misleading their flock. They go on the pulpit and preach not even knowing what salvation really means. How can a person who is deep in the neck of sin—who doesn’t understand what it means to be saved be leading a congregation. This pastor is already dead my dear. Ese do you think it is the will of God for us to be saved and still be living under the bondage and dominion of sin. Why would Christ go through all he did to come to this earth and mingle with men, die and be separated from his father only for him to save us and then we would still be battling with sin??

    My dear there is a higher way that many of our pastors especially in Nigeria don’t even get so how can they preach it to you not to talk more of living the life. Christ came to permanently break the power of sin over our lives.He doesn’t want u to call yourself saved and still be committing the same sins over and over again. How does that make you different from an unbeliever? The church in our generation has made Christ look so weak—-because pastors, bishops, workers in the church do the same or even worse than those outside the church. This is because many don’t understand what salvation really means. its not about just confessing your sins and believing Jesus died for you…yes Jesus blood foregives our sins but his body also broken on the cross gives up the power to go and sin no more. but if you do not understand this you will perish. in Hosea 4:6 it says “my people perish for lack of knowledge”….

    being born again is about understanding that he also went to the cross and broke his body to signify the death to the nature that makes one produce sin. and until pastors and big men of God of even mega churches understand that the nature that we were born with that naturally makes one want to sin has to go you wil always be under the dominion of sin and you will live a subpar life then be cast into the lake of fire for eternity. Sin and God don’t mix.if God could turn his back on his own son Jesus on the cross when he carried the weight of the worlds sin how much more u and I….so unless a man be born again he cannot see God. unless u actually understand what it means that I died with Christ and then became like a baby and accepting Gods grace to live a life whereby he gives you a new nature to overpower sin…you will forever live under sin…no matter how much you pray, fast, no matter how many revivals you attend or vigils unless you are truly born again and transformed into an entire new being where Ese no longer lives but Christ lives in Ese. (dieing to yourself)

    if not my dear you are headed to the same exact place this Fatoyinbo man is headed…..death…the wages of sin are death…that is the payment for sin… death on earth meaning a life not being lived for Christ and death for eternity where you are permanently separated from your father. i tell you when God opened my eyes to know this truth that is when I was freed to know what born again really means….to understand the life of Christ that Paul and Steven and these disciples lived not the contaminated born again message preached in most nigerian churches today where members sing dance and work in the church and also lie, gossip, fornicate, and manifest deadly spirits of jealousy, pride, lust, greed, promotion of self, power mongers…..Sin and God dont mix….why do u think God says “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils ? and in thy name done many wonderful works ? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you, depart from me, ye that work iniquity.” – Matthew 7:21-23.

    Ese i am not here to accuse you of what you did or did not do …it has happened and you said you were confused about the born again message and i am here to explain the truth to you. i don’t care what the world says….you can obtain mercy. God isn’t looking for people who know it all…he is looking for the hurt and wounded that say I don’t understand anything. Be excited that you are in a weak place for his word says “My strength is made perfect in your weakness”. (2 Cor 12:9) Its in this weak moment of being vulnerable that God really wants to help you…he specialised in dealing with cases like yours. and everyone has a story so dont feel condemned. Please get in a quiet place and ask God to show you the way…true salvation like Paul had. not the messed up doctrine blasting in churches left right and center today. sit at Jesus’ feet like mary and get the truth so no one will fool you again…Let the cross be your vision…strand strong…Jesus loves u and he wants to save u and rescue u forever!

    when i was preached this message , i didnt understand everything and i was at the weakest point in my life but God saved me and set me free and i actually LIVE now! i would love to share my testimony with you…if you need someone to pray with you or just talk to over email let me know ..but i will be praying for u that God sets you free….God put you in this situation for a time like this and I know one day your testimony shall help others….love your sister in Christ meemo

    • She is not a victim. That power hierarchy you define is not biblical. It is a construction of men designed to manipulate,seduce and control the gullible. All these power hierarchy is borne out of the abused 1 Chronicles 16:22. She was a willing party in a sinful act. She needs to repent and find healing in Christ. How can you sit on a man’s lap and claim victim-hood? So because he is a pastor she did not expect his organ to get turgid and warm? Please stop preaching this power hierarchy, it is not of God. It is no where in the new testament. Respect pastors like you will respect any other man. Seek and respect their counsel as under shepherds and nothing more.

    • God bless you. That’s all…….

  • sorry i found ese’s real blog and have posted my previous comment there

  • its not an abuse ooooo,itz an affair,i dont get your aim or goal,if it is to clear ur guilt or amend your mental torture,wrong motive,u for get belle,,you knew what you where doing ,you loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed it,if u were a good girl you could have upped and taken off but u kept going daily puhlease you loved it and u wanted a spicy story..you are terrible oo,seduce no it is serpentine spirit,slutishness,slymishly slugish,you wanted to spice up the story .well the church will move on thats definate, but his famly ,that i dont know.well done,but tryst that your mental torture just began.i go to d abuja chpt.This is not the best way to become a star.

  • Let us be honest here, sister Ese lusted and desired Pastor Biodun. If he was a wrinkled old pastor the same age with her grandfather or a terribly ‘ugly’ man, will she sit on his lap and plant him a kiss that will lead to undersheet tumbling? There’s no abuse or the likes here. She should stop crying wolf by playing the victim. It went on for over a week o! When Pastor Biodun probably decided to move unto fresher fishes, she suddenly developed a conscience. Sisteh, puhlzzzz save us ya buu shiii and cwap!!!
    Truth be told, there’s two sides to every story. For all we know, this could be all lies. If Pastor Biodun really did this, I believe its hightime he came out to confess and seek God’s face for a lasting solution to this challenge. None of us is better than him; we all have our weaknesses. Just because his is sexual doesn’t make him worse. But its his responsibility to not cause others to sin. He must step-up.

  • Since I joined COZA pst biodun has made me to see live differently. My life has totally changed from worst to best. My joy is ever increasind any time I approach the gate of the church. I have never met a man of God who is straight forward and plain like pst Biodun Fatoyinbo a complete man of God bless with a very beautiful and humble fire brand wife. I can not but thank good God for the two angels God place over COZA. See how lives are being transformed for better. I give God praise for whispering the idea of wrk force to the man of God, pst Biodun. The work force training has made me better in all sphere of my life and has made me the better man that I am today. I bless God for you sir my pst. Biodun Fatoyinbo

  • I do not want to believe this happened,we have only heard one side of the story, no one is supposed to take sides until you hear from both sides. questions are: Does Pastor not have protocols in London that will arrange his Hotel and movement from the Airport or was it an unofficial vacation to London because of Ese. I also feel that the fact of going to the Hotel room the first day and sleeping with the Pastor does not follow a natural sequence on the side of Ese unless there has been intentions in the heart(especially when you said you respect and trust him) No one out of trust will fall into an ocean because the person you respect asked you to do so. I struggle not to take sides but we all have to be very careful to pass judgement until we hear the other side of the story. For those already condemning the Pastor, beware! That King David slept with Uriah’s wife did not prevent him from being a man after God’s heart,if a man makes a mistake and God forgives him, it is no longer our business. For Sister Ese,if your story is true and you had genuinely asked God for forgiveness,he will forgive you and the guilt will go away, making it public is to punish the pastor and the church and not because of the guilt. If this story is true the stigma will be on both Ese and Coza but for a while. This is God’s business, let’s be cautious with our words in this matter

  • if you c the nakedness of your father pls cover him but if your father is a stripper. get a blog and tell the world.

  • only the clergy may benefit from the pleasures of sin.wish the rest of the girls will come out to talk. biodun u no try oooooooooooooo

  • Ese, you have a lively conscience and i believe
    you need the message of God for the endtime.
    All that we experience now has been revealed
    by the angel of God to the Laodicea age – the
    annoited ones in the endtime, remember that
    they are annoited but they are false math
    24:24, false Christ, Christ means the annoited
    one and in the endtime according to math
    13:30, 39-42 the Lord has sent out angels
    (earthly annoited messengers) to gather and
    bind all that offends, they all have messages
    but there is no genuine Life sustainace in them.
    The key is to listen to the voice of the sign
    Exodus 4:8, the signs will always be there but
    watch to hear if the voice is the same with that
    of apostle Paul that pioneered the grace age.
    There is a message for our day Rev18:4,an
    exodus from denominations and I see that God
    in his infinite mercy has started with you
    already, please do not hesitate to continue
    from where you are now, kindly read the
    scripture, Act2:37-42, 8:16, 19:1-6, and ensure
    you do your baptism in the name of the Lord
    Jesus Christ, that is the only apostolic baptism and
    the apostolic experience will also follow.
    Remember that this then is the message which
    we have heard of him and we declare unto you
    that God is Light and in him is no darkness at
    all 1john1:5-9.
    Godbless you.

  • “You can’t be in a moving train and remained stangnant”

    @Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo

    “When you jump up you come down, but when you grow up you stay there”

    @Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo

    “We are all vessels, some unto honour and some to dishonour, what kind of vessel are you?”

    @Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo

    With this words from Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo, my life was reshaped, my destiny aligned, I set order in my dealings, business, career and love life.

    I testify to the anointing in the house, I tap into the grace upon his life, am a living testimony of the yearning of the youths in Nigeria. Pastor Biodun is a gift to our generation, one thing I know is once I was blind but now I see. I see the hope for the nations,I see the take over generation springing forth from among the commonwealth of zion.

    The world waits for the earnest manifestation of the sons of God, I am a son, and from the wordsmith Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo fountain of knowledge, I manifest, so is every youth who encountered him.

    Hardewaley

  • Miss Ese, am not saying that your stories are false, if he has erred, pulling down the church of God should’nt be the solution. be Bold to speak to him. i try to follow ur life style too. your video on you tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FLLdKYJexiw where u rap eminem on 2 diiferent occassions, your pictures i saw online reali shows that ure not even BORN AGAIN, why did you delete your facebook and twitter account if your’re reali sure of your fact. Dont allow d devil to use you. your stories onhttp://esewalter.wordpress.com/2013/08/22/my-affair-with-pastor-biodun-fatoyinbo-of-coza/ shows that you are a good writer and as such they might be atom of lies in order to make your readers enjoy reading ur post. Be careful, no matter wat you claim he has done, you do not have to judge him, he is a spiritual head. Dnt invite d Judgement of God! remember Revelation 22:12 “Look, I am coming soon! My reward is with me, and I will give to each person according to what they have done.

  • there is need for light. there are many sides to this story. a lot of hidden stuffs in it. if u open your mind and inner eyes, u will see it. CAUTION!

  • I ask those saying Ese framed the whole story up, did Ese also frame up pastor Biodun’s long history of sleeping with other church members? I guess that place (COZA) has a way of training up the young men to do as their ‘holy’ pastor. Ask Nelson James, a member of COZA, Abuja branch, how many ladies he has cajoled/manipulated into sex and also extortion (419).

  • I ask those who say Ese cooked the story up just to rubbish the ‘man of God’, did Ese also frame up pastor Biodun’s long history of sleeping with other church members? I guess that place (COZA) has a way of training up the young men to do as their ‘holy’ pastor. Ask Nelson James, a member of COZA, Abuja branch, how many ladies he has cajoled/manipulated into sex and also extortion (419).

  • […] affair with the senior pastor of COZA, Biodun Fatoyinbo. If you haven’t read it, you can find the elaborate story here. Ever since she released the story, the social media has gone agog over it. The matter has been […]

  • 1. Only God knows d true story and only Him can judge, however
    2. The affair was not a one night stand. She continuously went visiting d pastor and even paid for the room willingly
    3. This is no abuse case but 2 consenting adults
    4. Did the pastor jilt her or move on. Being the cause of this exposé
    5. From her stories on drinking smoking and partying, she ain’t no spirit filled Christian. Not even when she was a worker in church.

    So my people, allow God judge this one and mete out His vengeance on those concerned

  • This story looks like an orchestra – A good ‘music director’ and a ‘well trained choir’. It is a not complex but from what she has penned down, the silence of the church and the pastor and the forceful, attacking testimony of the lady, it is certain there was a misconduct somewhere. The church should be able to speak out. They should be able to ask the pastor to clear his name. But is the pastor different from his church? There should be a clear separation in my opinion. Another thing I deduced from her account is that she like the ‘pastor’ actually hatched a plan. They were both carrying out their separate agendas. They ‘pastor’ wanted to mess up with her and she wanted to catch any straying ‘pastor’ too. It indeed an abuse. The ‘pastor’ abused her and she abused the pastor. She abused a man of God. If she finds her pastor drunk and naked on a London street will she rather frolic with his manhood or cover it? She is an abuser! She ought to protect the pastor and ministry that has stemmed her rebellious lifestyle instead of abusing them and calling the whole world to come and watch. She is a big shame to her family and God. I pray that both of them – the drunken so-called pastor and the unrepentant and shameless whore – go to God for forgiveness. The ‘pastor’ should step down. The lady has achieved her goal. “The rat should not go in the rain with the lizard because when the lizard gets dried up, it will not be same for the rat”. Igbo Proverb.

  • This story looks like an orchestra – A good ‘music director’ and a ‘well trained choir’. It is a bit complex, but from what she has penned down, the silence of the church and the pastor and the forceful, attacking testimony of the lady, it is certain there was a misconduct somewhere. The church should be able to speak out. They should be able to ask the pastor to clear his name. But is the pastor different from his church? There should be a clear separation in my opinion. Another thing I deduced from her account is that she like the ‘pastor’ actually hatched a plan. They were both carrying out their separate agendas. They ‘pastor’ wanted to mess up with her and she wanted to catch any straying ‘pastor’ too. It is indeed an abuse. The ‘pastor’ abused her and she abused the pastor. She abused a man of God. If she finds her pastor drunk and naked on a London street will she rather frolic with his manhood or cover it? She is an abuser! She ought to protect the pastor and ministry that has stemmed her rebellious lifestyle instead of abusing them and calling the whole world to come and watch. She is a big shame to her family and God. I pray that both of them – the drunken so-called pastor and the unrepentant and shameless whore – go to God for forgiveness. The ‘pastor’ should step down. The lady has achieved her goal. “The rat should not go in the rain with the lizard because when the lizard gets dried up, it will not be same for the rat”. Igbo Proverb.

    • People’s me ehhhhh I have a list n pictures of all d girls that have been close to that bastard God forsaken pastor who no body but satan his big brother called. And all d idiots covering up for him may God of Abraham Isaac and Jacob visit you people with his wrought. That’s how u people cover up nonsense and evil thrives in our society. Church church everywhere

  • Seriously? Now people are calling her names because she had the guts to go public? Didn’t you read the post very well? She doesn’t care about your frigging abuse or opinions, hell no! Would u stop for a second and imagine how many times he’s gotten away with sexcapades like this? Some of u would have been holding bats n baseball clubs ready to smash the life out of him if she were ur sis. But no she’s some random attention seeker simply because she admitted her “sins”. I’m not here to preach, I’m not even a religious person so I’m not easily convinced by churches, especially those who preach swag and prosperity. So yea, while she should have seen it coming, we have absolutely no right to condemn her. I’m a woman and it hurts terribly and I seriously hope that God brings justice upon that man and church. Also to all the other churches too where such things happen and they “gracefully” cover it up. In deed Heaven will be full of surprises.

  • GOOD WRITING SKILLS, ESE. BUT HE TAKES ALL THE BLAME. YOU ARE FAULTLESS. AREN’T YOU? IT SEEMS, THOUGH, YOU WERE PAID TO WRITE THIS PIECE.

  • I know you so well dear youve always had a thing for men of God I CAN COUNT FOUR COMMITED MEN OF GOD YOUV HAD AFFAIR WITH 1.TJ (CGM) 2.DOMNIC(HOTR ABJ)3.AMB.CARO(COH)4.BENNY A(COZA)MY AFFAIR WITH THE 5TH WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER CAPSSION…

  • Hmnnn…. i wouldn’t blind my eye to d possibility of wat Ese told us. Stuffs like this happen all the time, i know because it happened to me. only d courageous dare to voice it out. I salute your courage Ese. Mind you, it takes very smart and intelligent men especially ones thought to be impeccable to do such thing as d one Ese described. Mine wasn’t with a man of God, it was my Lecturer, and he waited till i finished my study. Wat a calculating son of a bitch. With all my moral standards and self discipline, i still fell prey to this married man. So, i understand wen Ese uses such words as ‘trance’ and ur mind being confused, yes, thats d game, to confuse ur mind so badly that u can’t think anything at all. U just go blank. Its only after u are left alone u’ll realize wat just happened to you. I wallowed in self shame for a long time after d 3days saga. I got over my guilt n shame becuz Jesus helped me. I’m married now with children. I couldn’t even open up to my husband dis shameful act. Pls, let those who want to believe that a man of God is infallible go ahead.God will judge whoremongers and adulterers (Heb 13:4). Thank you Ese, God bless ur heart

  • may God hv mercy

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