Who goes to a battle field without first properly arming himself and receiving necessary training? Just like before you got a drivers’ license, you had take a driving course. Because getting on the road in that ignorant state will make you a danger to other road users.
This is exactly the case when it comes to marriage. It certainly can be likened to a battle field. Not literally guys, no fighting please. I mean it’s a good fight. You know, like fighting the fight of faith. Just like salvation, you’ve got to work it out DAILY.
There are some really basic things you need to learn for sustainable partnership in your home. You shouldn’t be the reason someone else ends up living a miserable life.
Communication: People lie to themselves. Communication is harder than you think. You have to bare it all. Say what you feel, when you feel it, exactly as you feel it – all in the attitude of love and respect. Don’t be afraid to be totally vulnerable with this person. After all, who on earth should know you more. Bear in mind that it’s a two-way street so you have to learn to be a good listener and a good talker.
In listening, learn to allow room for your boyfriend or girlfriend to express their displeasure on ANY matter and listen first without being judgemental. It will be wrong to dismiss them halfway. Let them finish. Also don’t write off any issue as irrelevant or petty. If it’s a problem for them, make it a bigger problem for you and determine to FIX it. In talking, avoid a complaining tone or using hurtful words, especially during conflict resolution. All couples have their differences.
Keep Calm and DO NOT raise your voice.
Just approach all issues with patience. No matter how seemingly BIG it is, you can talk through it.
Timing: Sometimes you’re just not in the mood.
Resolve to understand people so well that you know when to make a joke and when to keep a straight face. Whether to raise the topic of that issue that has been bothering you all day – leave it for later while you guys have dinner if you do live together or discuss when things aren’t tensed up. Learn to be sensitive to what is going on around you.
Timing is critical to the reaction you get from whoever you’re talking to. Imagine whining to your man about fresh acne on your face when you know that all he has on his mind is house rent which is due in 4days. His response may leave you wondering if he wishes that you just step out and get run over by a bus. He’s not a bad man, the timing is just wrong!
How to overlook (The Art): This has to be an art. Or maybe a super power. You can’t make a big deal out of every issue. You really shouldn’t. Or you’ll wear yourself and your partner out. Just can’t hit a child for every offence. You need to let so much slide. Your words begin to lose power when you ‘bark’ over every issue. If you rarely fret, whenever you eventually do it will be received with some respect and treated.
Massage: Learn to give good massage. I’m not even joking!
Cook: You can’t just be the ‘eater’. Learn to cook. There will be times when you do get married, wifey can’t do this chore. Like when she’s pregnant…or when she’s away for a few days. She should not die at the thought of leaving the kids in your care. Or every once in a while just to ease wifey of all the routine. She would need a break!
Some Guys, you can’t afford to act so helpless all the time. Anyone who wants to ever get married really should learn to cook.
These aren’t all the things you need to know but these are 5 significant ‘skills’. I know this!
I hope you enjoyed this. Don’t forget to leave a comment.
Tiana – has written 18 posts on this site.
Born & christened Temitope Ishola. Fast forward to 2013..Hi, I'm Tiana #InAnyOyiboAccent. I live in my head! Curious & Like to Share my Thoughts. Somewhere in between a tom-boy and a girly girl. Nature Lover. You can follow @TS_Tiana on Twitter & Visit http://allthingztiana.blogspot.com for more.