They talk about you, they judge you, they speculate, they point fingers, they stab you in the back, they create drama, they are never happy for you, always hating, always wishing they have what you have….your man, your friends, your clothes, your shoes, your life…. they can never just let you be.
These people are known as bad belle….steer clear.
Bad belle people don’t necessarily have to be your enemies, they are in most cases found amongst your closest friends and even families. There is a popular Swahili proverb that says, ‘kikulacho ki nguoni mwako’… Direct translation to English and it says…. ‘whatever is eating you is in your own dress, simply meaning that some people will pretend to be your friends, eat with you, live with you etc. These so-called friends might even be perceived to have your best interest at heart, HOWEVER, they are the ones you want to be wary of!
Over the years I have made a lot of friends, lost some, treasured the select few people I deem friends, still do, and I must say it has been such an eye opener. People will hate on you for the smallest, silliest and craziest reasons. They are always so free and ready to shred you down once their way of how you should live your life does not come into play. Note, I said THEIR way of how YOU should live YOUR life, not YOURS. Correct me if I am wrong but, we were all born alone, we shall all die alone. The way I live my life does not necessarily have to be the way you think it should be. In this case, it doesn’t matter whether it is your friend, sister, cousin, frenemy…regardless!
It is important to know some vital things….not everyone has to be your friend, most times, out of ten people you consider your friend, only two are actually rooting for you. Trust me! I know this very well because I have and we all have at one time or another played both sides.
You have been a good friend, but you have also fallen short and at one time been that friend who couldn’t wait for your friend to turn her back for you to talk smack. Admit it, we have all been there, no one is perfect.
The less people you have around you, who know your business, your relationships, your lifestyle, the better. I always say a prayer everyday and ask God to open my eyes and show me my friends, and, my enemies too. I pray that he should remove anyone in my life who is envious or is jealous or just doesn’t have my best interests at heart, and guess what….it works. I cannot count the number of people who have been removed from my path this year alone, people who I never thought, and as I lose them to be honest I feel more grounded, less burdened, more free spirited and alot happier. Do not be afraid to lose ‘friends’ that is the biggest injustice you can do to yourself. Let them go.
Not everyone has to like you. The faster we realise that the happier we will be. We carry a lot of baggage as it is, some more than others. We always question, what will my friend think? What will my boss say? What will my family think? The only person who matters is you. Those who matter don’t mind, and those who mind, (mostly all the time) don’t matter whatsoever. The only person you need to validate you is YOU!
Be your own checking point, once that is in place, the people who are worth being around you will fall into place automatically, effortlessly. Toxic people/negative people/bad belle people call ‘em what you may..they will bring you down, drain you and never be happy for you.
Keep a few people around you…know your circle and keep the squares out…Pick and choose the people you surround yourself with.
In conclusion, here’s a question or two… who do you spend most of your time with? Do they help you towards your goals or pull you from them? If not then why are they in your life? Do they really care for you and your well being? Or are they just waiting for you to turn your back so they can say something about you!!
My two cents
Olivia (livvy)Kitawa, is a creative writer, born and bred in Nairobi,Kenya, (where I felt I never quite fit in). Single mother, daughter,sister,friend and care giver. Aquarius, lives by the rules (most of the time). Outgoing, fun loving, amazing personality, people's person,(when people are nice that is...half the time people irritate me when they are being annoying.) People laugh at my jokes and say am silly, so I guess that makes me funny. Critical thinker(I dissect everything!!), always questioning why and how we exist, looking for those answers still. If you think you have the answers please share. A free spirit that loves to read and travel and meet new people, absorb different cultures.