Tension, stress and a very hard day at work constitute a high percentage of the average Nigerian’s “after closing hour”. In a city like Lagos, the percentage soars higher with more people stressed and tensed after the day’s work.
Motorists yell at each other and drivers hurl insults at each other after a hard day, especially when the road never gets less busy. As a polished and self-respecting person, you don’t see yourself flashing the middle finger or raining curses on people’s generation, but inwardly you have relieved them of their heads.
Sometimes you even forget your education and self-respect and give them the damn insult they so much deserve.
Sometimes you can even control your temper on the road but can’t really hold it when a junior staff or your help acts downright stupid. It could be with family sometimes and it could be with senior colleagues.
Truth is though; you’d rather not have that. Here are ways to change that “argggh” into “ahhh”
1. Don’t be a Superman/wonder woman
Juggling too much? Try and make your expectations realistic and achievable. When you set yourself up with goals you can’t reach, you are more likely to boil inside and let out steam the slightest opportunity you get…or don’t get.
2. Be Selfish
We know the “put other’s first” statement and we all want to be good and put our friends’ needs first but we also need to take care of our own feelings and needs.
If it is impossible to help that friend with your car or borrow your bff that money she asked for, then do not. Find a polite way to say it and don’t stress yourself and feel bad later.
There is no overstating the importance of communication. When you feel too tensed or stressed or slightly irritable, talk to your people. Your bff, your wife or husband or whoever gets you anytime. It helps offloading all the stress you might be carrying. They say a problem shared is half solved.
Discharge your anger constructively. If you must talk when angry, then gently lay down what you have to say without uttering statements you would regret soon enough.
Remember that relationship/friendship is still useful to you so don’t ruin it in that moment of anger.
5. Get clean
Learn the difference between clean and unclean anger. Clean anger is at something that’s just happened while unclean anger refers to the latest trigger that’s the outlet for something that’s just riled you. The cleaner the anger, the easier to deal with it.
6. Take your time
Whenever someone sends you a message or says anything that upsets you, just excuse yourself and take time to calm down. If possible sleep on it and see how you feel in the morning.
tomilola – has written 258 posts on this site.
I make stuff up for a living and more importantly everybody's entertainment. You'd either love the series or love it ;-) Don't hesitate to drop your comments about my series on here or via twitter, @tomilola_coco.