I shake my head in total disgust as I look away from Mobola. She had to come here? Really!
What did she think I was going to do? Propose to the guy and take him away from her? I know she has some childish behaviour planned out for this hangout and that makes me angry in a way. What made her think I want Kunle?
Well maybe I do but then to satisfy my sexual urge or whatever it is I get when he’s close or makes reference to my boobs. I look at him and try to tell him without saying anything that I didn’t invite her over. I’m sure the guy thinks we have some sort of brain issue in the family sef.
I mean, I tell him I’m not interested in hanging out and then show up at his house minutes later all dressed up. Then my cousin whom I’m sure he didn’t invite shows up looking like something out of a low budget Yoruba movie.
“I hope I didn’t keep you guys waiting” she says as she moves closer. The British accent was fully back.
“It’s Okay. Morenike just got here not too long ago. We can leave in five minutes.” Kunle responds and hugs Mobola.
Wait, he isn’t surprised she’s here?
“I decided I wanted to leave the house when Morenike left.”
I try not to roll my eyes.
“We were supposed to see a movie together and when she said you were having a hangout, I decided to ping you” Mobola answers my question. Well, she is most welcome. I mean, I can’t send her back can I? And she’s not disturbing anything.
“No problem Mobola. The more the merrier” Kunle says to her and she giggles like a love struck teenager. If I wasn’t hundred percent sure about my good hearing condition, I’d have sworn he paid her a compliment the way she giggled. “My cousin Dare” Kunle introduces.
“Oh I know Dare!”
Of course you do; I scoff. She throws her hands around him and hugs him.
Soon enough we are at the bar and everyone agrees to the same liqour. I shouldn’t have, because soon enough I am tipsy. But I’m sure it’s not the alcohol effect that’s making me see Mobola all over Dare. I frown, Beyatch!
“You Okay?” Kunle ask and I nod quickly; a little too quickly.
By the time we leave the bar and head home, I realise I am feeling a little light headed but I don’t mind. It would help me get through another evening with my extended family. Kunle glances at me from time to time but does not say anything. I’m silent. I remain that way all through the drive home. I can’t say the same for Mobola and Dare though. They seem not to get enough of each other. I chuckle, its safe to say my cousin is 25% human and 75% bitch.
When Kunle pulls over in front of my house and Mobola says “Renny, I would be back” I am not in the least bit surprised. I nod and get out of the car. Kunle is by my side in seconds.
“Hey, thanks. You should go home now” I say
He smiles. “You’re drunk ma’am. I’d go home when I see you’re safely inside.”
“Oh” is all I say. But wait, I am not drunk! I press the doorbell and wait, then I realise I had a lot of alcohol. Who uses the doorbell at grandma’s house? I turn to look at Kunle. I haven’t exactly taken my time to stare at him all evening, was too busy downing alcohol. He looks good but then I already know. And he makes me think about sex…I reach forward and for a second what makes up 75% of Mobola’s existence actually becomes a part of me. I raise his chin with my finger and bite my lips as I take in every of his features.
He chuckles. He likes whatever it is I’m doing.
I lean forward and without thinking twice, I part his lips with my tongue. He responds and dang! I love this feeling my body’s giving.
“Oh my gosh!”
I’m jolted back to reality as I find Mobola beside me. The door closes shut and standing in front of us is my grandma and mommy London.
Haha, I might as well be naked this moment.
“Children of nowadays; don’t you have enough training to know you cannot do this on your grandmother’s doorstep?” Mommy London/Ukraine says in an Australian accent…or not. Honestly, I’m tired trying to decide what accent this woman has.
I shamefully smile and look from my grandma to mommy Ukraine and Mobola. My grandmother shakes her head and returns to the house. I don’t know what’s going through her head but I’d like to find out. She is the only one I care about honestly.
I breeze past every other person and follow her to her room. It is safe to say the alcohol in my system is gone now.
She doesn’t let me speak “you could have at least looked around for a hotel or maybe shamefully dragged him to your room here.” She says as we enter her room.
“Morenike you are a mother of one – A single mother of one. DID YOU NOT LEARN ANYTHING FROM YOUR PAST EXPERIENCE?” She asks in anger – Pure undiluted anger!
How do I explain to her I am not trying to have another baby? That I am going to be careful? That it is just me trying to get the horniness out of my system.
“Shey o ti e mo boya o ti ni iyawo si ibikan?” She asks in Yoruba. Well true, I didn’t consider he might have a girlfriend or fiancée. Stupid me!
“Grandma, I wasn’t thinking” I start to explain
“Of course you weren’t. That is without debate!” She yells. I have not seen my grandmother this angry in years. The last time she was this way was when my mother decided to leave my father and travel out of the country.
There is silence in the room as I frantically search in my head for the right thing to say. I know I haven’t made the right choices in my life but I have excuses, stupid ones but excuses are excuses right?
“Who did you leave Oreoluwa with?” She suddenly asks and I’m stunned. I wasn’t expecting that.
“Er…Celebrate” I respond.
She looks at me quizzically. “Ki lon je be?”
“That’s my houseboy’s name” I reply.
“Your houseboy’s name is Celebrate?” She asks, her face seems to have softened and I can swear she finds the name as hilarious as I did the first time I heard it.
I nod. He is from Warri and his name is Celebrate and he is an amazing 18 year old who is more than a houseboy to me. He is family, a friend. He sometimes is a better mother to my kid than I am.
“You left your son with your houseboy and you are here kissing every man on the street?” The anger is fully back.
“Grandma…I…he doubles as a nanny and…”
“When your mother wanted to leave your father, I told her it was an irresponsible move to make! Now I am telling you the same. You are an irresponsible mother!”
I feel like I have been slapped hard across the face. How can she say that to me? I came here because of her! I don’t care about Mommy London or her annoying daughter! I don’t care about my cousins or my uncle or other family members. I came here because my mom asked me to and I love my grandmother. Why am I being killed for it? Why is she calling me irresponsible? Is this about the kiss or has she been wanting to get it out? I storm out of the room as anger begins to boil inside of me. Mommy London walks past me, I sight Mobola talking to Kunle and sobbing into his arms. I wonder what it is that he is saying to her as I stomp into my room and slam the door shut.
I lean against the wall and try to run everything my grandmother just said through my mind. Maybe I have done something irresponsible by leaving my son with Celebrate. But I couldn’t have brought him here. Not around these people who don’t have any love for each other. I can’t let my son be in this environment. And I call Celebrate every moment I get, I speak to my son! I am a good mother! I tell myself as tears begin to well up in my eyes. I feel really bad. I should just get into the next car and head to Lagos. This is it!
Someone knocks and I think it is him; I quickly wipe the tears that have gathered in my eyes. When I open the door, I see Mobola and Mommy London standing there.
Okay, I have had enough with these people. What is it this time?
“How can you betray me?” Mobola begins as she starts to sob. What? Betray? *utterly confused face*
Then it is her mother’s turn to speak “your mother would at least be proud of you” she says and leaves with her daughter.
Whatever that means, I say to myself as I slam the door behind them.
Kunle walks in.
“I’m sorry about that.” He apologises.
“You took your time” I respond acidly.
“Hey come on, your cousin was crying like a child and I was supposed to walk away from her?”
“I didn’t ask you to” I snap.
“Why are you so riled up?” He asks with genuine surprise.
“Why? Because my grandma saw you kissing me on her doorstep! Because she thinks I’m an irresponsible mother by leaving my son with my houseboy, because…”
“Wait” he interjects. “You left your two year old son with your houseboy?” Then he asks “are you insane?”
Okay, maybe leaving Ore with Celebrate isn’t such a fantastic idea anymore. But it is because they don’t know Celebrate. He is a guy but he’s got maternal instincts and care!
“Oh please don’t stand here judging me” I’m beginning to get defensive. I do not like this at all. All of these emotions in one night? And I still have about four more days to go.
“I am not judging you Morenike. It just does not make sense to leave your two year old son with your help. How can you be fine doing that?” He asks in genuine shock.
“You people don’t know Celebrate” I say. And he looks at me confused. I know it’s the name that’s making him that way.
“His name is Celebrate” I add. He nods slowly.
“So wait let me see, you left your son with your houseboy named Celebrate and you’re wondering why your grandmother freaked out when she saw you kissing a man in her house?”
Whatever! This is not as bad as they have all chosen to see it! My phone rings and I run to pick it – Anything to distract me from this man trying to tear me apart for leaving MY son in SAFE hands.
It is Celebrate calling me. I pick the call.
“Hello…” I freeze as I listen to my houseboy narrate how my son fell from the stairs.
“CELEBRATE!” I scream.