Welcome to another Monday Memoirs of a Slu…shhKid reading fest, thank you as always for stopping by and to the newbees read the rules http://www.360nobs.com/2010/05/memoirs-of-a-slu%E2%80%A6shhkid-the-rules-to-read-by/ before you start judging and appreciating. Thank you all for your readership, may the memoirs never cease, Amen.
I was pushing hard to clean out my desk before 5.30pm when it all started. My head started aching like someone was getting raped and being pushed about. I thought it was because I was practising 110, so I rushed to the canteen and ordered white rice and pepper soup before mmadu anuo ebe.
The headache was joined by fever and that was when it dawned on me that I was falling ill yet again. I got into my car and called Shirls.
Nobs: Yo, where are you?
Shirls: Gbagada.What’s wrong with you, you sound different.
Nobs: I’m ill.
Shirls: Serious? Erm where are you?
Nobs: Leaving my office.
Shirls: Wait. I’ll come and get you.
Nobs: No, let’s meet at Yaba.
Shirls: Are you sure you don’t want to wait for me at your office?
Nobs: I’ll be fine, dear.
I managed to drive myself to Yaba and by that time I was really shaking from the fever. Shirls came through 15minutes later.
Shirls: Poor baby. What’s wrong with you?
Nobs: I can’t say but I just need to go home and sleep.
Shirls: We need to get you to a hospital first
Nobs: No, I think I’m just stressed.
Shirls: Okay let’s get to the Island and see how it goes.
Nobs: Please drive like a lady
Shirls: Hehehehehehe, I’ll try but you know you don’t have the strength to beat me sef.
Nobs: I won’t beat you now, I’ll just write it down and wait until I get better.
Shirls jumped a red light but managed to drive like a lady until we got to the Island. We went to the Galleria to get dinner from Barcellos and then went to the pharmacy shop downstairs to get “AdvilPM”.
Shirls took me home, served me dinner, massaged my back and when I slept off, she went home.
Friday 9th July 2010
I woke up this morning a lil better but not strong enough to go to work but considering the fact that I’ve got loads of deliverables, I just have to go to work. I made Obinna my driver and relaxed all the way to Ikeja.
Slim invited me to her office for their TGIF and I had to pick her sister D from her office. We got there and trust me, her office peeps sure do know how to ball considering the fact that everybody is a lawyer.
We finished from Slim’s TGIF and headed out to Ikoyi for D’s office “Meet and Greet” dinner before her office nite out at Marquee. We got to the “Meet and Greet” and loads of things were out of place.
1. It was a standing dinner affair. The host just moved into his apartment and his chairs (according to him) would be arriving next week.
2. It was no dinner. People don’t stand at dinners.
3. Doctors are better dressers than her colleagues’. The ones wearing the right trousers had the wrong shoes while the ones rocking the right shoes had the wrong trousers on.
4. Someone came with a staff list. Who does that?
We left Ikoyi for Marquee at 12.05am and my boys came through. I was on water diet and promised Slim I wasn’t going to sing at the top of my voice but at some point I found myself shouting to every single song (I got the result later). The party train moved from Marquee to CU also known as Rehab. Obinna was high so Slim had to drive. We partied at Rehab and I broke the second promise by drinking. I drank Moet Rose straight from the bottle and Slim caught me. The real drama started when I walked into Biola on my way back from the gents…
Biola: Mr Igwe
Nobs: Aunty Biola
Biola: So who are you with tonight?
Nobs: My sister?
Biola: Really? By the way I read the insults people showered on me on your memoirs
Nobs: They are just jealous jor
Biola: Abi oooooo
Nobs: Yes na.
Biola: Hmmmm. So you really had to ask people to help you choose?
Nobs: I was confused and I thought sharing my problems would make it simpler.
Biola: I hope it did.
Nobs: Not really and with these your boobs sticking out I’m even more confused.
Biola: Why do you find it difficult to call or reply BBMs?
Nobs: I’ve been busy. I promise to change
Biola: Let’s go stay Hi to your sis
Nobs: You really don’t have to
Biola: Oh, you have your fat ass Shirls with you?
Biola: Oh, then it must be Slim. Let me go introduce myself.
Nobs: I’ve got my Aunty with me and your boobs sticking out like that wont really be a good image for family intro.
Biola: But you always enjoy touching them, now they are not good for family.
Nobs: My aunty is going home tonight so you can sleep at mine.
Biola: Nobs, to you I’m just good for sex and nothing more. I can’t even meet your family?
Nobs: Don’t talk like that na. See I won’t even marry someone that is not good in bed.
Biola: Nobs, I want you to meet my family.
Nobs: Come spend the night, lets discuss more
Biola: I’ll call you on my way, ok?
I walked back to our corner and begged God not to allow the devil bring Biola to our corner. Slim and D dropped me off at home and went to their hotel in Phase 1.
Biola came through about 5.10am and immediately she entered the room, I brought out the boobs and apologized to them with my lips.
Saturday 10th July 2010
It was raining hard when I woke up. I pulled Biola closer and we played Papa and Mama.
I was still trying to gain my strength when the phone rang…
Slim: I’ve been knocking
Nobs: (Very alert) Where?
Slims: I’m downstairs with D, brought you breakfast.
Slim: Is there a problem?
Nobs: Nothing. I’m coming.
For a complete minute I couldn’t think straight and I felt the earth move beneath me. I woke Biola up…
Nobs: My Aunty is downstairs with her husband.
Biola: Will they come in here?
Nobs: They may
Biola: What do we do?
Nobs: Let’s move your things to my sister’s room
Biola: Okay but I really want to meet your family.
Nobs: And you think meeting them after a night of UNHOLY sex is the best way?
We moved her things my sister’s room, I went downstairs to open the door for Slim and D…
Slim: What took you so long?
Nobs: Good Morning should have been a better way to start, don’t you think?
D: Good Morning, Nobs.
Nobs: Good Morning, My love.
We went upstairs and Slim went straight to the kitchen to prepare the breakfast. I prayed like I’ve never prayed before. I asked God to keep Biola in my sister’s room and He did that for me. We were having breakfast in the living room when I got the BBM “I’m off, Boo. Buzz when your family is gone. I took your shirt with me”
I slept throughout the day while Slim worked on some document beside me.
I woke up feeling feverish and Slim insisted that I have to see a doctor. She drove me to the hospital and even went with me to see the doctor. I was asked to go for a test and after 30munites it was official that I have Malaria. I was given 3 injections in Slim’s presence and afterwards we went to Ice Cream factory. Slim took me home and put me to bed.
Sunday, 11th July 2010
My ever loving diary,
I woke up to find Slim lying down by my side still in her clothes.
Wow! She stayed over just to make sure that I’m okay? Sheet. That got me thinking. She brought me breakfast, stayed with me all day, took me to the hospital and even spent the night on my sick bed. At that point just wanted to hold her and not let go but I was scared I would pass the wrong message and spoil the friendship we’ve got.
Slim woke me up to inform me that she was going home.
Home all day until…7.00pm
I got a text from Shirls, “I’m on my way to yours. What do you want for dinner”.
I replied “You”.
NB: I never knew I was going to write this week but I guess your love, prayers and the fact that some people look forward to this every Monday got me pulling out my Apple Macbook.
Shirls, thank you for getting me home on Thursday
Slim, thank you for everything….BF,Hospital and the BBMs.
D, it was great having you around this weekend.
Deebee, please forgive me.
Thanks to everyone that called to wish me speedy recovery, I’m getting better.